What are these traits that are changeable... what are tge traits that make you "u"?

[Anonymous]

I had sn disagreement with my boyfriend.. who said there are certain things that can't be changed... changing those would be like changing the person itself and i disagree.. let me tell u what those are.

*Being too loud in public.

*Not being respectful to your company and keep making jokes in public.

*lashing out in anger , instead of responding to it calmly.

*ability to sit and communicate with a person rather than deflecting the topic.

* Have some kind of idea on what they want to do with their life... need not decide it but at least to have an broader outlook on life.

*try and learn more about managing finance, emotions, and work on self improvemet

What do u guys think.. can a person change these if they want to?

[SallyTho87]

Absolutely they CAN.
Being too loud in public is lacking self-awareness, and social awareness, tying into the disrespect or not being respectful in public, or of other people in proximity.

Lashing out in anger, and deflection are all manipulative traits, trying to gain control of the situation by instigating fear based responses so the other person "shuts down" instead of actively communicating to SOLVE the issues. This can be changed with learning communication skills, therapy, being open and willing to learn, and taking time to do the self-work.

As for outlooks on life and self improvement, if it is one individual dealing with everything listed above, that person needs to do a great deal of growing up. Maturing, learning respect for others and being respectful in social situations is a huge necessity and responsibility of adults. The user age posted as anon is 25-29 years old, and if there is a 25+ year old struggling with these listed above, it's time to grow up and start working on themselves.

It'd be incredibly embarrassing for a partner having someone of any age, acting disrespectful in public, ignoring the others around them, not "reading the room" and engaging in some type of inappropriate discussion, being overly loud is appalling for anyone over the age of 6. Children are taught respect, respect for others, including in social situations, other people, etc. I don't know why an adult would be acting that way, but it is OK to change. Personality changes, physical changes, beliefs, whatever you want to change and you feel it's for YOUR best interest, change.
You are still the same person.

[StarWarGirl]

A person has power to change absolutely ANYTHING. Even some research says a human can change even the brain structure and function with practice, meditation etc.

It's all about what anyone believes about their identity. And how far they are willing to do it. If someone doesn't see any problem in his/her behaviour and justify them then they are never going to change it. And it's not Identity of a person but these are the things they believe as their identity.

Whatever you have mentioned those are wrong behaviours and of nothing good. So if someone believes it's their identity then he himself accept that he is made up of those impurities and he wants to live with it. You can't convince a person that light seems beautiful if he has never seen light and is never willing to come out of darkness but keep accepting that darkness is real truth. You can't convince a frog of well that world outside is beautiful the river is better place to live if it believes that well is whole world and true reality.


A true identity of a person is the things that makes him/her. It's inner qualities what can be different ways of doing things without being creating problems for anyone where you have scope of growth being like that. But if you believe it's your identity to be problematic to others and making other person uncomfortable then you are devil. But these are Identity of a devil. He is born to be the problems to others. It's his identity. A devil isn't devil without having problematic qualities.