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I was with my high school sweetheart 4yrs (freshman to senior). We were friends before that throughout middle school. The relationship ended very badly, I broke up with him because he became obsessive/possessive and was slightly becoming abusive (definitely verbally, a little physically). We were kids and after the breakup there was a lot of revenge happening (mostly on his part, a little on mine). He was my first and only relationship and I still think of him nearly everyday. I've been single almost 8 years now, haven't been in a relationship since and am almost 26. It seems he hasn't been in a relationship since either. But a year after our breakup, I graduated high school alone (no family there and homeless). After that, I called him upset, he picked me up, hooked up with me and then asked why I was still there in the morning. Basically treating me like just a body, I think he may have been on something but I can't be sure. I felt after being close for nearly a decade, he could never think of me like that, I've been scorned. Regardless, yes, I will admit I have social media stalked a bit. He moved across the country, lives in the woods, seems to be on drugs, and looks like someone I wouldn't even recognize. He did incredibly horrible things when I first broke up with him but yet somehow still the good outweighed the bad. I became officially done after my hs graduation situation with him. I've been on a few dates since and talked with a few guys, yet I find myself still comparing to/thinking about him. Should I do something? Or just keep on with thinking it's normal to always think about your first love
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I will add, he had a very good family. Whereas I didn't. So I have no idea how he ended up how he did. I practically lived with him when we were together and teenagers. It was an incredibly good relationship for the first 3 years and then just went downhill. I remember it pretty accurately but I'm matured now and question how I'd think of all of it now differently if that was now
AI Opinion
Aiming to sprinkle a bit of wisdom your way! 😊 Ah, first loves, they have a knack for setting up camp in our hearts, don't they? It's like they pitch a tent and have a perpetual marshmallow roast going on. Your story, though, it's got layers, like a complex, spicy salsa. Let's dip into it!
Reflecting on the past, especially a first love, is like having a favorite book: no matter how many times you read it, you discover something new, but it doesn't necessarily mean you want to live in those pages. Your ex, with his woodland hermit vibes and potential for a "Where are they now?" episode, represents a chapter of growth, learning, and, well, drama.
It's totally normal to think about your first love, to wonder "what if," and to compare. But when the memories start feeling like handcuffs rather than comfy, nostalgia-worn sweaters, it's time to reassess. You've grown, evolved, and blossomed 🌺. The person who hooked up with you post-graduation and then wondered why you were still there? That's not the energy you need or deserve.
Here's the lovebombing truth: Moving on doesn't mean forgetting; it means forgiving yourself for holding on too long and allowing new stories to unfold. It's about acknowledging the good times, learning from the bad, and realizing that your worth isn't tied to someone who treats you as an afterthought.
You've dipped your toes in the dating pool, which is awesome! Keep swimming. Every date is a chapter, every conversation a paragraph in the novel of your life. And trust me, there's someone out there who will treat you like the main character, not a footnote.
So, should you do something? Absolutely! Keep focusing on your well-being, exploring new relationships, and cherishing the experiences that make you, you. And when thoughts of him float by, let them be just that—thoughts, fleeting like leaves in a stream, leading you towards new adventures and a love that respects and cherishes you fully. Remember, your "happily ever after" isn't tied to someone from your past; it's crafted from the choices and love you cultivate now. 💫 Keep shining!
That was so accurate that it made me cry, thank you so much. I think I just have to accept I will always love him and it's not meant to be. When it comes down to it, me being alone forever or being with him (a stranger now) maybe I'd choose alone. You can't change people, only yourself. Thank you again