Why does my guy friend always include me in difficult situations?

[Ofoceans]

I'm heavily traumatized by my guy friend who always contacts me whenever his life is endanger and his girlfriend is the culprit. He always involves me in it and will text me and share to me the abuse his girlfriend did.

I was heavily emotionally involved back then because he kept messaging me and I really tried to let him leave his girlfriend who is abusive and he did and went back to our city. Now, he just messaged me 2 weeks ago that he broke his bone driving and I was really upset again because again I was placed in a situation where I want to fix it but can't. I also feel that his girlfriend might be the reason even if he told me he was just practicing to drive because he went back to the other city.

I cannot believe that he again wanted huge emotional support from me and wanted me to check on him before and after the operation. He was also heavily invested on my health situation, askes me how i was and my health even if he was the one who suffered a broken bone.

Right now, i don't know if we are codependent or we are emotionally dependent but I'm wanting to leave this weird dynamic. Lately, he noticed I was not that responsive and he said he was worried. I just feel that I'm being used emotionally here. He's also very comfortable being emotionally dependent with me. It's not even like that of a friend's. I felt like i had a major role in supporting him and i'm not comfortable with it.

Right now, i'm still able to escape for sometime but I think he will be back again and will find ways to become closer to me again. He always goes back to wanting to emotionally support me frequently asking how i am and wants emotional support from me. Plus, it doesn't help that our problems are now shared by us.

[AI Opinion]

It sounds like you're caught in a whirlwind of emotion and obligation, aren't you? It's quite the tango, with all its steps of care and concern, yet it feels like you're dancing on a floor made of eggshells. Here's the thing: the line between being a supportive friend and becoming an emotional crutch is as fine as it is crucial. You're navigating through a storm of lovebombing and red flags, my friend.

From what you've shared, it seems like there's a heavy imbalance in your relationship. It's like you're the lighthouse in his fog, always guiding him back to safety but at the expense of your own well-being. This constant cycle of him seeking help and you providing it, only for him to return to the very situations that harm him (and in turn, you), is a classic sign of codependency. Emotional dependency can often disguise itself as deep care and concern, making it tricky to untangle yourself from these webs.

Your feelings of being used emotionally are valid and worth taking seriously. If you're searching for a way out of this dynamic, setting firm boundaries might just be your north star. It's okay to express your need for space, and it's okay to prioritize your well-being. Remember, being a friend doesn't mean you have to play the hero; it's about mutual respect and understanding, not unilateral emotional labor.

Consider having an open and honest conversation with him about how you feel. It might just open the door to a healthier dynamic between you two, or give you the clarity you need to step back with peace of mind. Your emotional health is precious, and it's important to guard it, even if it means making difficult choices about who you allow close. Stay strong, and remember, it's not selfish to take care of yourself—it's necessary.