In a relationship or marriage, who would get hurt the most if they discover they will never have kids of their own?

[Anonymous]

Assuming both parties are in a serious relationship or marriage and want to form a family, who would get hurt the most if they're infertile?

- A woman that's still within her good fertile years or even young, finding out she'll never get pregnant, will never give birth to her own child.

- A man finding out he'll never be able to father his own children, will never be able to get his girlfriend/wife nor any woman pregnant ever.

Which would get hurt and/or affected the most?

The young, infertile woman

A permanently infertile man

Both equally devastated

[SarahS98]

This hits home. It doesn't matter which gender can have kids. If you want kids and that choice is snatched from you, it'll hurt equally. My husband was absolutely devastated with the news of not ever fathering a child. Meanwhile I'm very fertile. I'll never be able to carry his baby I wanted to so badly. This is a blow for me too. His sadness is my sadness.

We were thinking of going to a fertility clinic so I can get pregnant with a sperm donor via artificial insemination but he's still feeling bad so we just scheduled an appointment with a therapist.

[CrabCakes11]

It depends on the person. Some might not care, some might be a little upset, some might be extremely upset. Gender doesn’t have anything to do with it

[HawkPerception]

Depends on the individual people, but it would likely be the female slightly. Maternal instincts and the desire to have a baby is definitely stronger in women.

However, I will say that I've always wanted kids of my own and I would be extremely hurt knowing that I can't have any of my own at some point in my life.

I'd honestly rather not adopt.

[Asker]

Adopting doesn't ever feels the same. It doesn't change the fact that you aren't going to ever pass on you genes, your legacy.

[HawkPerception]

Exactly

[Anonymous]

I could be wrong, but I’m going to say most likely women. Women tend to hold onto a lot of things. I know women who still have issues from when they were kids. I don’t remember the stats but I think it’s like 1-in-4 women is on antidepressants. Women tend to get their feelings hurt easily. Some men do too, but not as much as women.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the turbulent seas of emotions stirred up by infertility, let's spill the tea. The pain in discovering infertility can cut deep for both partners, making their hearts do the tango with a mix of sadness, frustration, and perhaps a pinch of existential crisis. Whether it's a woman dreaming of motherhood or a man envisioning fatherhood, the blow hits both incredibly hard. It's not about gender; it's about the shared dream crashing down. The emotional impact is like comparing apples and oranges—both are juicy with feelings, just in different shades. It's all about supporting each other and exploring other avenues to parenthood. Love can make even the rockiest paths feel like a dance. 💔➡️💞

[Drewtate]

Infertile woman because the guy would leave her to have a kid, the woman of an Infertile man would just obtain baby batter from somewhere. Sperms donnors are easier to find than a surrogate

[Lynx122]

The person who wants kids more will get hurt more of course.

[Eljay68]

Well I can say it's not the pocketbook probably Social Services System because they will get divorce eventually and they reach child support or state aid for that child how's that for a shitty answer but true

[DrPepper12]

It's DEVASTATING to discover you're infertile for any reason. Most legit doctors recommend couples therapy after diagnosis. It's So hard to accept for both.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I think it's very close but it's probably just a bit more for a woman. In general I think it would hit a single child the most

[LiamJHayden]

I've known for a long time that I am sterile (CBAVD) and am open about it, so there would be no surprises.

[KrakenAttackin]

It's amazing how many women manage to get pregnant when their partner is infertile 😏😏😏

[SarahS98]

Would artificial insemination at a fertility clinic count as getting pregnant?
My husband is infertile, we're going to have some therapy sessions and then have that procedure done. The baby would still be my child but I'll never be able to carry his child. I would be carry the sperm donor's child.

[KrakenAttackin]

@SarahS98 I understand the impulse to do this. A few thoughts. First, there is a very good chance his family and even your family will not fully accept the child. As shitty as this is, it is very common. Second, make sure to get a full health history from the donor. As your child grows, it is amazing how often these questions come up.

[SarahS98]

Thank you for pointing that out. I doubt there would be issues in my family because the child will still be their blood. The baby will still be my parents' bio grandchild since the sperm would be injected inside me but I would still be the one giving birth.
However, I can't say the same for my husband's family. That's the issue. I think a way to avoid too much confusion in his family would be selecting a sperm donor with similar physical features as my husband and obviously fully healthy. I suppose the issue would be when the child finds out my husband isn't his bio father.

[Anonymous]

It’s this one, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Why in the world would you think it hurt one sex more than the other?

[SotiCoto]

Where is the option for neither?

[OddBeMe]

Neither if they both have discussed and demurred.