How do you handle gaslighting?

The topic of the argument is not the problem, it is the gaslighting. The topic in itself is pointless and dumb.

Im Czech so there is a difference in language. This is how our convo went with my (23f) boyfriend (24m).

I said to myself, "fuck I can't open this shitty bottle". Which he replied to by asking "you can't open a bottle?". As I said there is a language difference, saying in my language that "you can't open a bottle?" sounds degdrading and saying that "you can't open it?" is not mean at all. I told him that was not nice to ask me if I can open a bottle. He said he didn't ask that, he just asked if I could open it. I heard the word "bottle" clearly.

I see how I am going to get bashed, so let me clarify something. I understand that in English, there is nothing wrong with the question, but in my language the one I heard was mean and the one he told me he said is not mean. And again, I dont care if he said something mean, it is the gaslighting that I fear. Few years back I was pushed into a situation where 8 people kept coming to my face telling me I did something that we all saw someone else doing. Everyone saw it was not me and they were gaslighting me so deeply that I questioned my sanity. So gaslighting traumatizes me.

I brought it up again later, because I was visibly hyperventillating, hence the event brought be back to the past where people almost beat me up for their own gaslighting. He still said he asked what he asked and I told him that I did hear the word bottle. I dont want my boyfriend gaslighting me even with the smallest thing. Especially because he was the one comforting me when the past incident happened and he saw how broken I was. Could he really forget in the matter of a second what he said? Should I even care about this, or should I let go because it is nothing compared to the time I almost gotten beaten up?


How do you handle gaslighting?
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