Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
She refuses to move in with you, refuses to do the deed if you're just a boyfriend. She wants to make it a virgin on her wedding and then move in with you afterwards. What do men nowadays think of girls like that?
Are we intimidating to guys? You're still a normal, loving boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.. just not a sexual one.
It's fine for some people. But I would never have considered dating someone who was "saving themselves" for marriage.
"Purity" has no value to me. Sex is just another step to adulthood like puberty.
I always considered marriage to be a once in a lifetime decision. I wanted to be certain that she was the one I would be happy spending the rest of my life with. Therefore, I had to know her extremely well. I had to like her personality, mannerisms, behaviors, habits and idiosyncrasies, in order to be sure nothing drove me crazy.
We had to have compatible values, hopes and dreams.
And sex is another area in which compatibility is very important. I wouldn't want to be surprised after marriage to find that we were incompatible.
Then there is the idea that, if we are in an exclusive relationship, love and adore each other, and are dedicated enough to want to stay together, I would feel rather dishonored if she wasn't horny for me and/or didn't trust me enough to want sex. If she didn't trust me and give herself eagerly and completely, I wouldn't be able to trust her or give myself completely. I would think she was hiding something. And besides, love is based on trust and commitment. How could I love someone I didn't trust?
On top of that, sexual inhibition is incompatible with my personality.
None of my girlfriends were virgins. They were normal girls with libidos who wanted to have a boyfriend and dreamed of marriage with children. They had self-esteem and self-respect. They didn't just sleep with anyone. They were picky about choosing a partner. But the fact is, not all relationships work out. In engaging in relationships, though, we benefit from the gained knowledge, experience, maturity and wisdom. It's part of growing up. We may also gain happy memories that we will cherish for the rest of our lives.
My wife and I had both lived full and fulfilling lives before we met. By then, I was 40 and she was 37. Neither of us had ever been married or had kids but, obviously, we weren't virgins. We've been happily married now for almost 28 years, had a LOT of fun, and built a wonderful life together.
I do have acknowledge, though, how difficult it is for women to trust men. A lot of guys will promise the world just to get in a girl's pants. It is very difficult to discern if a guy is truly sincere. But, then again, there are no guarantees in life, so sometimes you just have to go for it and see what happens. As I said, not all relationships or even marriages work out.
Getting your heart broken is really, really painful. But having had sex isn't so bad. It's actually the wonderful takeaway from a failed relationship.
I guess I don't like the idea of giving away too many years of my youth (5+) to a man that then won't propose if I were to live with him and have sex. There is a chance he keeps me at girlfriend stage for too long and I want kids at some point. What if he wants to wait more years and I don't want things on his own timeframe. I have a timeframe too.
I fail to understand whenever people advice some women not to nag a man with marriage and wait for him. Why should we wait for the man to commit instead of making him wait till marriage? By making him wait till marriage, he's waiting for me and I have no control of my timeframe. I don't have all the time in the whole to have kids. What if I want to form a family at age 25 already?
I agree with you about getting strung along by a guy and wasting your time. If the relationship doesn't progress and he fails to propose and set a date after a certain period, you move on.
My wife and I were in an exclusive relationship for a year before I proposed. We got married a year later.
But there is no way I would marry her if we never had sex. I wouldn't even date her very long. Sex is a way of forming a deep bond.
It's great to hear you and your wife both establish a timeframe. I'm really not religious but if I was sure the man I love would propose in just a year like you did with your wife (I had the security of getting proposed and married for sure), I wouldn't mind.
But it's hard to distinguish a true man that really keeps to his words and proceeds with actions like he promised vs man that keep making promises only to string us along more. My timeframe I have for myself is 2 years max, more more. I think I'll have to stick to that and leave if he isn't still not ready.
It's not really a loving relationship, but I might agree to that as I highly value virginity.
I'm sick and tired of reading the stories of the women giving away so many years of their youthful years (5+ years), living together with a boyfriend and at times even giving him a child and then she wonders why he isn't proposing or when will he. She's waiting and waiting for him to commit, lol.
Why should we (the gender with the limited time to have kids) wait for the man? It should be the opposite, he needs to wait for us.
Not giving a man sex is a good way to make him marry fast unless he prefer to leave.
en.wiktionary.org/.../why_buy_the_cow_when_you_can_get_the_milk_for_free
Im not waiting til marriage. Just waiting for a boyfriend. I have the opportunity with one guy I've known for over a year but he doesn't want a relationship and i fell in love with him so i can't do it to myself by going all the way with him. I dont feel like im a virgin since he’s tried 3 times cuz of pressuring me, but its apparently hard to get a penis in when nothing’s been in a vagina before so it didn't work all the way. He says im still a virgin so I guess I am. I feel like a half virgin.
In general, men do not want that because men generally want sex quickly into the relationship. But there are men who are also waiting til marriage, so if you find one of those it will be a good match.
@LazerBean Typically type a mam like that are the ones women aren't attracted to.
@LazerBean So you're saying that your man doesn't understand women since they avoid sleeping with him?
yeah and those are the men that then take too long to propose, don't give her children and continue keeping her as a forever live-in girlfriend, an extended friends with benefits disguised as ''oh my girlfriend''.
I see no benefit in living together with a man, having sex and wait till he's ready to commit, basically wait on his own pace, on his on timeframe. That sounds like backwards logic. What if his own timeframe is until he's in his mid 30's and I can't wait that long?
If we're the ones with a biological clock (can't afford to continue dating forever), then making him wait till marriage makes us have more control of our timeframe.
@asker I wouldn't advise a guy to live w/ a girl he's banging but other than that your instincts are spot on and I would say are how most women think, ie "I need to maintain sexual leverage because that's the only way I can keep him. This is exactly why I tell guys to simply raise your value. The higher value you are the more women you'll have meaning the less games like that you'll need to tolerate. The issue arises because most women date average to LV men who are unable to pull this off. They get banged by HV men but are never taken seriously because, most HV men have more experience playing those games.
@LazerBean Lol, if he's a true Conservative than I know exactly what he's like, and actually explains his limited experience w/ women. As for my political affiliation I'm independent as, tying yourself to one of two parties is for poor people who don't understand how politics actually work. Exhibit A.
@LazerBean TY for sharing that emotionally charged response as it highlights once again, how women make most of their decisions from emotion vs rational thought.
@LazerBean If you have a rationale thought to share please provide. Like the average woman your responses are emotional charged juvenile remarks which I can only assume have some impact amongst the yest of your college dropout group.
Navigating the currents of love and desire, your question brings us to the heart of modern romance! The response to such a stance on waiting until marriage and holding off on cohabitation varies wildly among men today. Some see it as a beautiful commitment, a treasure chest of values and emotional connection waiting to be fully opened post-marriage vows. To others, it might pose a challenge, as they weigh the importance of physical compatibility and shared living space before making the lifelong leap. Are women like that intimidating? Possibly, to those who aren't ready to sail the deep waters of emotional intimacy without the anchor of physical connection. But remember, the right captain for your ship will admire the course you've charted and sail alongside you, respecting the journey you wish to take. It's all about finding someone whose map aligns with yours, and when you do, the voyage becomes all the more thrilling! 💖🚢
Opinion
20Opinion
Depends on how serious the guy is about her
True. Many men are just desperate for the sex. We tend to get ghosted by several men if we mention our stance earlier. Just eliminating sex in a relationship and they walk away so far. Sucks that's all men want, sex with a girlfriend.
Who are these guys having sex wiit?
the men with the most sexual discipline (and ultimately loyalty) will stay the course
the horndogs and virtue signals will try to get the goods and the more you give them, the less effort they'll put in
after all, when the going gets tough, the tough get going
yeah a man with great sexual discipline is hard to find.
it be fine with that, was back in my earlier time.
I think it adds a risk to the marriage and it's a big one. if doesn't work, you're gonna be suffering a terrible slow death. So is something to try and figure out you are compatible in.
There is a risk for women to if we give it all away for free when he's just a boyfriend (moving in together, sex and even giving him a child) who in the end won't marry us. Then the poor girl can end up being a single mother and struggling in the dating pool if she wants a serious, marriage-minded man. It would be harder for her since she gave it all away at the price of just a girlfriend he can dump easily.
True. It's tougher being the woman, that's why I respect... honor her choice and this is a good one to honor self. The guys job is to be intersted, her job is to say no. He should honor and lead, but so many are corrupt to their flesh desires.
In general, women have corrupted the cesspool of corrupt men. It's a mess out there... you will have to be brave and strong.
Keep in mind though as women get older... they become the aggressor! The hormonal peak in 30's makes them more the aggressor.
I would not marry a woman before having sex with her, because sexual compatibility is far too important to a successful marriage to leave it to chance.
Having said that, I also would not marry a woman with a promiscuous past. I believe in sex before marriage but only in committed, loving relationships.
@MzAsh I have not, because I hold myself to the same standard I hold women.
How would I know it's not going to be a waste of time, where I then truly regret the whole relationship if we never end up marrying and I already gave it away for nothing?
If she wants to keep me a virgin, that would be fantastic, but I don't care if she is or not.
waste of time and money. she's definitely expecting the man to completely overinvest in her before even knowing if he ultimately wants the girl or not.
Pretty much. Why should I wait till the man is ready to commit? I'm tired of reading the stories of women living with their bfs, giving them 5 years of their youth and then wondering why he isn't proposing and when are they going to have kids? Then those women in those stories are approaching their late 20's or early 30's and the guy is still not ready to commit after such a long-time of keeping her as a live-in girlfriend. I'm the one with the limited time to have healthy kids. He should be waiting for me (hence waiting till marriage) since he can have kids any time, any age. I can't.
Nope. He wants sex, he has to commit first and be in the relationshp for 1-2 years (sexless relationship). Too many women wait many years for a man to propose marriage so it's only fair to make him sacrifice sex for 1-2 years.
Waiting till a man is ready to commit sounds like a disaster vs waiting till marriage (make the man wait for us).
well if you gotta "wait" for him to commit, the tough pill to swallow is: you're most likely not worth his commitment in his mind.
yes and that's when the woman should've been dumping him long ago. It's bad if we have to wait for him to commit. It means he doesn't love her as much nor trust her to be his wife. Otherwise, he would've committed sooner. That's one thing I heard about men; when they really love her so much that they can't live without her and put their own freedom in last place, they will without her nagging. But yeah he has to be crazy about her. Otherwise if he still values his freedom so much, she'll never be his fiancee, much less wife... she'll just be at forever girlfriend status, just fun to be with.
true. don't waste 5 years with a person not willing to commit. but people fall for the sunken cost fallacy.
If she is fine with an open relationship until we are married, okay. Otherwise it's not going to work out.
Beautiful question; shows she is traditional and is sweet.
Sex must be a big deal and important to her for example
Dealbreaker.
Not that it matters for me at this point anyway... but I vowed to myself that I'd never fuck another virgin. They're too tight.
Im glad you're leaving those girls alone. Honestly, you guys suck. I had a guy tell me i was “too tight” when he tried having sex with me, try to force it in anyway when i screaming and crying in pain and then tell me that next he’ll tie my hands back so i can't push him away. If you know you have no patience for a virgin, leave them alone.
That is acceptable so long as she is truly a virgin, she is young, and marriage would happen within a year.
yeah a year sounds like a good timeframe.
Still blows my mind, I would be worried if someone stayed virgin too long, speaking for myself cough cough
I want to be with only 1 man in my life and just being his girlfriend doesn't make me feel secure. I want commitment first.
I respect that you are trying to achieve your goal, but marriage doesn't guarantee 1 man 1 life either.
Not saying you are missing out on anything, but it feels like you are handicapping yourself to prove a point.
So maybe have it when you feel confident about your partner, but don't stop it until a certain event "happens" to your life
It's their decission.
I’d wonder how long does she wanna date?
2 years would be ok.
I’m 25 now. So if we dated for 2 years and then were engaged for a year I would be 28 getting married. What if she didn’t work out? Then I would be starting over at 28. Think it could be longer than 2 years?
How much longer? I would be 24 in 2 years, then engaged for a year. So I would be 26 by the time I have my first child.
Much longer and it gets harder for us to have a child
I’d also wonder what she meant by sex. Like would she wanna kiss? Oral
Kissing and oral would be ok, just no intercourse nor anal; no penetration.
There can be penetration when giving oral. That would be a challenge for sure just licking outside. Is there are reason she wants to stay a virgin?
She believes in commitment much deeper than just boyfriend and girlfriend. She wants her first time to be significant and only be with one man in her life.
I also wanted that a while ago. Hope it works out
It's getting harder to find marriage-minded men though. It's like as soon as I mention my stance, they run away from me. Oh well. I'll just keep trying and trying, till I get one. Someone has to eventually agree with my stance and be ok with it.
I’d like to get married as well. But I’ve been in relationships and understand how after a few months the ability to not go beyond penetration is really hard to do. What’s the longest relationship you have had?
I've been in 2 relationship, one for 4 months and the other for 6 months. In both of them, the man shouldn't handle it anymore and break-up.
That’s horrible. Both guys knew what you wanted going into the relationship. You told them your boundaries and they agreed?
yes they knew from the start who they were dealing with, agreed to it, only to get say they can't handle it anymore
Ya they could have decided to go with someone else. If you could date and get married in 6 months that would make it easier
Something else that a guy would worry about is what if after she gets married she doesn’t want sex? Clearly she survived 3 years of no sex in the relationship so she could decide none after getting married. Then what could he do
I do have a good sex drive and masturbate a good amount of times. I just chose to wait till marriage.
Usually when people are healthy they have a good sex drive. As you said you are happy just masturbating. That’s why I said after getting married you could still continue on and rarely have sex. Do you think it could change?
Not interested, but do your thing
I would be pretty okay with that.
@Laserbean I am Virgin until now
It’s good
It could backfire
How so? I've been in 2 relationship so far, one for 4 months and another for 6 months. In the end they couldn't handle it and broke up.
When I was with my first girlfriend I thought sex couldn’t be any better… only to then have my mind blown later. You don’t truly know your taste and preferences until you get experience
I still masturbate though. That's good enough for me. I'll continue trying to find a marriage-minded man. Both apparently lied to me by agreeing with my stance, only to then break-up when I wasn't willing to give in.
Good luck
Waste of time
Indeed it is to those that want sex fast.
as well as to those just looking for a girlfriend, those that are just dating to date
I have no problem
You can also add your opinion below!
