I was blocked for fighting my hook-up's friend on a website, should I text him?

[Anonymous]

I went out with a dude twice and started liking him, unfortunately. He then went AWOL, which made me anxious so I did something stupid. I commented on something he posted online, and his friend came in "his defense" and called me bitter in a completely unnecessary context. I then answered his friend in a manner that wasn't as rude as he deserved (in my opinion)! After that, he blocked me on social media, making me upset. Honestly, I didn't do anything wrong. His friend was the bitter one and his reaction likely has to do with the fact that he used to go out with a friend of mine - a person who allegedly hurt him emotionally - and feels like punishing me for what he did to him. Anyway, what does that have to do with me? Should I apologize to him in private for having a public discussion with his friend? Am I being stupid for suggesting I have something to be sorry for?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I'm not sure what sending him a text would do in all honesty! It seems to me like with all the turmoil that's gone between all of you, he probably thinks it's not worth the hassle!

[Asker]

Thank u. I just felt like I needed closure, hence, wanted to text him. I didn't really understand why he reacted that way and it hurt me a bit. But I think you're right, texting him wouldn't do me anything. I want revenge now.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I always worry when I read/ hear people use the word revenge, because I have no idea how far they are willing to go.

[Asker]

I'm not doing anything, lol. Just venting here, you can chill. I said that I want it, but I sure know desire's pointless any fucking way. It's frustrating that men get away with whatever and we have to be picking up the pieces they shed afterward. I feel like they should pay, unfortunately, I don't believe in karma much - wish I did, it sounds comforting to believe that asshole is getting what's his after the mess he made in my life.

[TommyMountainFigure]

2 dates, and he ruined your life? Dare I ask?

[Asker]

Have you ever been in love TommyMountainFigure? I went out with him twice but I've known him/talked to him for over a year, when you're invested in a relationship and are, honestly, trying to convince yourself that your delusion is somehow justifiable, it's difficult to get out. Especially if the other person is actively trying to make you believe it's more than what you reasonably think it is. I don't know, to me it's more complicated than that, but I understand your disbelief. I'm pathetic either way, so fuck it.

[Asker]

Plus, I didn't say he ruined my life!

[TommyMountainFigure]

OK.. but you did say he made a mess of your life! Have I been in love, yes. but I am able to switch it off when I get the feeling it isn't justified!

[Asker]

Ok, unfortunately, I'm not. Not trying to be rude, I appreciate your investment in this, but I'm not a cyborg! Falling in love is a normal thing, being mistakingly in love with a man that doesn't correspond mean my existential suffering is justifiable to you? I'm just a girl, for Christ's sake! This is new to me, I was manipulated and used. I'm a victim! (I think)

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're right please forgive me.. I'd forgotten until I read that just how much like you I was when I was only a bit younger than you are now, and my going in head first caused me to have my heart ripped out too. It was just a very long time ago, and I hardened up from those feelings, because I had to. I promised myself it would never hurt me the way it did then, and it hasn't.

[Asker]

Thanks for your help. I hope someday I get to be stronger and not let people hurt me like this anymore.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think I've given this advice before, but if you imagine how a firewall works on a computer.. It filters out bad things. But also it protects you from giving too much away.. in that respect it guards your feelings. That is maybe a lesson you can learn from how he treated you.

[Asker]

I see it, thank you Tommy. Too bad we have to do that in order to survive, I wish people didn’t unabashedly take advantage of others like that. I just wanted to love, look where it got me..

[TommyMountainFigure]

You're very welcome. Naivety when in love will allow you some incredible feelings, but opens you up to all kinds of heartbreak. As you get older, you'll learn (I did anyway) that mutual respect is paramount before allowing yourself to fall for them.

[Loner111]

Y r u asking me this?

[Asker]

She wasn't asking you shit, obviously. Anybody on this website is not looking for a particular opinion, dumbass.