I have a lot of anxiety about future events in my relationship that likely won’t happen?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with a man for a while now. He treats me so well. He’s kind. Respectful. He makes me feel like a woman. Yes, there are some jealousy issues, but we’re working on that.
We’re long distance, and I have brought up some issues. Looking back, I don’t know why I did. It seems pointless. I’ve brought up:
-the LGBTQ community
-abortion
-guns, etc.
he says he does not like the LGBTQ community that forces their ideas on people and is disrespectful. I agree. I don’t like anyone who’s disrespectful or entitled. But he says that he has gay friends who just live their lives like everyone else. They’re not hiding, they just don’t feel the need to be flamboyant. But I asked what he’d do if we had gay children, and he said that’s not possible. And I said okay well it is. We are both believers of God and his word. He said, “I don’t know”. I don’t think this is a bad answer, but it’s definitely not mine. Mine is that I wouldn’t want my children to be gay, I don’t think anyone does, but I’d love them.

Now I can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen if we have a gay child or children even though the chances of that happening are slim.

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you're feeling really anxious and worrying about hypothetical situations that may never even come up. I can understand why those conversations would trigger worries, but it's also not very productive to obsess over things that are out of your control. A few thoughts:

- Trust that your boyfriend cares about you and would support you through anything, even if he doesn't have all the answers right now about hypothetical future situations. People can grow and learn over time too.

- Focus on appreciating what you do have together in the present - his kindness, respect, the way he makes you feel. Let that ease your anxieties rather than dwelling on "what ifs."

- Perhaps have an open, understanding discussion about how you both want to raise caring, compassionate children - while also accepting that ultimately you can't control who they are or what they may face. Agreement on values of love/acceptance may come with time.

- Try mindfulness, journaling or other stress-reducing activities when worries creep in. Don't let anxiety steal joy from your relationship. Breathe and refocus on today.

No one has a crystal ball. All any parent can do is provide unconditional love no matter what. Have hope that together you can face life's challenges in a caring, supportive way if they come. Try to let go of worry for now and live fully in each moment. This too shall pass.

[osmanthus]

Might as well don't have children then. What's the problem here?

[AI Opinion]

Navigating love and future anxieties, are we? Let’s unpack this like a surprise romantic getaway!

Diving into deep conversations about your core values and beliefs is essential in a relationship, especially in those picturesque long-distance scenarios. It’s like adding spices to a gourmet dish—you’re figuring out if your flavors blend harmoniously. And kudos to you two for stepping into the arena of open dialogue, even if it feels like opening Pandora's box sometimes.

Your concerns about hypothetical future children are a classic cocktail of love and worry, garnished with a twist of “what ifs.” It's totally normal to fret over potential relationship speed bumps, but let’s not let it overshadow the here and now. Your reaction to a hypothetical situation and his “I don’t know” is actually a nod to human complexity. We’re all works in progress, after all.

The crux here? Focus on keeping the communication channels open, respectful, and filled with understanding. It's all about growing together and being prepared to navigate life’s curveballs as a team. And remember, love, especially parental love, is an amazing journey of acceptance, no matter the course it takes.

So keep those love-filled conversations going, and who knows? You might just find that your future is brighter and more spirited than any worry could cloud. 😉

[Asker]

You have no idea how much you’ve helped me right now. Thank you.