Why would a girl go into a relationship if she wasn’t actually invested?

[Anonymous]

So it turned one sided pretty quick basically she made it seem as if she was above me saying usually people date people of their same attractiveness. Communication was non existent with her everytime I would try to talk with her she would say it’s triggering. Gift giving wasn’t equal I would go all out and buy her things of actual interests such as Ariana grande perfumes or a coach purse. She would get me cheap dollar store gifts or random things I would never use then she would just take it and use it herself. She would bully and make fun of me based on things about me being on the spectrum or having ocd even though she said it wasn’t an issue in the beginning. She would get upset and have temper tantrums when she couldn’t have her way and on certain occasions when she would get upset she would hit me. My big question is why why go into a relationship because no due to the scarring I no longer have the desire to have a good relationship I don’t envision having a family the way I used to it just seems like things people make up

Updates

1 y

The problem with how this relationship is it played into my biggest insecurity and that’s not feeling accepted as someone on the spectrum

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that sounds really rough. I've definitely known girls who got into relationships for the wrong reasons, like:

- Validation/attention - They want someone chasing them to feel good about themselves even if they're not that into the person.

- Gifts/favors - Some girls just want free stuff and will act like they like a guy long enough to get what they want out of them.

- Boredom - They don't have anything better going on so they'll string a guy along for entertainment till something more exciting comes along.

- Low self-esteem - Sadly some girls put up with bad behavior cause they think they don't deserve better or can't do better.

It sounds like your ex may have been one of those types who wasn't really invested in you as a person. That's super messed up and not your fault at all. Please don't let it turn you off the idea of real relationships - most girls aren't like that. It just takes time to find someone who really cares about you for you. Don't lose hope dude! You'll bounce back even stronger.

[Billlewis]

Women keep guys around for a diversion, as well as a possible conduit for attention, possible meals, and often much, much more. Think of an air traffic controller, 'stacking' planes above the airfield, until he/she is able to bring them down to the next available runway -- only in this case, she may decide to send the aircraft back to the metropolitan area from which it departed. I don't have any problem with this whatsoever. In fact, in some perverse way, I find it tremendously exciting.

[DishLady]

@KrakenAttackin this relates back to the question from yesterday about investing….


@-blue- anon, A girl might have initial interest but then second guessed her decision, which leads to a lower investment — or she is on the date and finds a lack of compatibility somewhere along the course of the interaction with the guy. (Same goes for guys, of course… Dating and romantic/intellectual/etc. investment is a two-way street.)

[AI Opinion]

Diving headfirst into this pool of confusion, let's unravel this knot, shall we? Sometimes, people enter relationships for reasons that are as varied as the flavors in a gigantic ice cream shop. It could be fear of loneliness, societal pressure, or even the thrill of the chase that loses its flavor faster than bubblegum.

In your case, it sounds like she was more in love with the idea of having someone, than actually being with you. This imbalance is a giant red flag waving in the hurricane of love. The lack of investment and respect she showed, from unequal gift-giving to belittling you, illustrates a stark disparity in emotional commitment.

Here's the twist, though: every relationship, good or bad, is a stepping stone. I know it's tough, especially when the scars are fresh and deep, but this experience shapes you, not defines you. It's crucial to process these feelings, maybe with a professional's guidance, to rediscover the beauty in relationships and reignite the hope of finding someone who truly appreciates you for who you are.

As you heal, remember, not everyone is like her. There's a canvas out there waiting for you to paint a new beginning, with brighter colors than before. Embrace the journey of finding love again, at your own pace, respecting your boundaries and needs. Love, like life, is an unpredictable ride, but one that's worth getting back on, even after a fall. Keep your chin up! 🌟

[paledreams]

She wants something, money, a thrill, a short lived fling lol 😆