How do you get over the trauma of getting cheated on?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Being cheated on is DESTRUCTIVE and you can most the time feel it before you even know what’s going on. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, and in so many other ways. It’s HORRIBLE. Some people don’t know how much they hurt people and sone sadistic people get off on it.

If you need to talk to a mental health professional do so. A lot of prayer. A lot of water. It hurts a lot. It does. It’s horrible for a man or a woman to go through that level of pain. Especially when nobody ever wants to take accountability and will make you feel like 100 times more like shit. Just know this is NOT your fault. If you weren’t good enough he could have left. That’s what I tell people who have been cheated on is stop blaming yourself.

I knkw toh don’t want to see it. I know people want to blame themselves because they can’t imagine that person doing that. They made the choice to do it. You can do the best you can and it won’t be good enough for them.

It does hurt. If it didn't hurt I would think someone was heartless and can’t love someone genuinely. It’s gonna take time.

DO NOT STAY…. Do not stay with someone who cheated. You can forgive my moving on and finding someone who makes you happy. Not caring where they are not. Not caring if they think of you. Not caring if they’re jealous. Not caring if they feel bad. Not caring just knowing they will answer for ir someday. They aren’t worth it

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

Depends on how you got into that situation. If it's because you ignored red flags and got with someone you shouldn't have it's easy to see how to avoid it in the future. If it's because you think you did 100% of things right and it was just a random thing then it's going to really mess with your mind. I don't believe things happen in life without us doing something to help it happen. Some don't like that idea because they claim it is victim blaming/shaming. To me it's like saying if someone gets into a car accident we can never talk about defensive driving.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

For me, it was realizing that my cheating ex had shit taste and no self-respect. Then just giving myself time to process my feelings and think through my trauma.

Therapy was also huge. My therapist helped me build healthy coping mechanisms and supported me building back my confidence.

It definitely helped that the side bitch texted me and tried to become my friend. Texting her to be a better human and as good a wife as a cheater could be to her husband who took her back felt good.

Then she showed her whole unwashed fat ass by trying to get me to befriend her and mock my ex. Which was just sad on her part. It really showed me that my cheating ex deserved whatever karma he got - and gave me a chance to be the bigger person than the both of them. I refused her and said it was sad and disgusting she (40 yo) wanted to bully a young man she'd cheated on her husband with.

Last I'd heard of my ex, he hadn't told anyone he cheated and I'd dumped him, and he still had the deadend admin job he met the fat side bitch in.

Getting to tell the side piece I didn't need or want her at all, that my life was actually better without my ex, while taking a nice long bubble bath and drinking wine, was pretty empowering.

Damaged00 · Accepted Answer

You don't. In time the pain of it will lessen and eventually disappear. There's really nothing you can do to speed up the process. People will tell you to get under someone else or keep yourself busy. And sure it might seem like it's helping but all your doing is burying that pain under a bandaid and later down the road it will come to the surface. You need to let yourself feel the pain so it can heal and change you for the better. Sadly the experience stays with you and you won't be able to truly trust for a long while. Sorry if that's not what you were looking for but sometimes the truth is hard to admit.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the sting of betrayal. It's like a dance where you didn't know the steps were going to change mid-song. The key to moving beyond this is to first acknowledge your feelings. Love, anger, sadness – it's all part of the playlist of healing. Hold them close, recognize them, and then, when you're ready, let them go into the crowd.

Rebuilding trust starts with oneself. It's doing a little soul-surfing, understanding what you value, and nurturing those aspects of yourself that need attention. It's about falling in love with yourself again. Yes, self-care is your new dance partner.

Connect with people who make you feel safe and valued, those who remind you that trust isn't a solo act but a group performance.

And remember, while it's tempting to keep replaying the old tunes, don't let one bad track stop you from discovering new melodies. It's all about moving to the rhythm of your own beat and knowing that, in time, you'll be ready to dance again. 😉✨

1

2

Finchie40 · Answer

It takes time , depending on the feelings you had for that person , so it’s best to focus on yourself and move on as much as you can , and eventually it won’t hurt you as much , especially when you meet someone new that treats ya way better than your ex did. You might eventually forgive your ex but you will never forget

V_Injector · Answer

Cheating back. lucky fat chicks be getting a chance all of a sudden.

DishLady · Answer

1. Drop the guy 2. Get your revenge bod. 3. Live your life. 4. Get under a new and better guy.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

It depends:

If you are married, this is mega traumatic. Your best option is divorce or at least marriage counselling, preferably with someone who gives a crap about marriage.

If you're dating, you can console yourself that a breakup is just a divorce caught in plenty of time. I hope you found this out before you moved in or - God forbid - made any babies.

In any case the love of close friends is paramount here. People who will just sit with you and not try to Monday-Morning-Quarterback your life.

nawtee_me · Answer

First if someone cheated on you then that is on them and not you. You did not make that decision they did and therefore they are at fault. Don’t allow yourself to be a part of his mind game that would have you think that you caused him to cheat somehow. You did not… He chose to cheat on you with someone well below you.
Rise above him and her and be the woman you are meant to be. Stay strong and forgive him of the wrong he did you. So that you are not bound to him through anger and set yourself free. Free to be a better version of yourself and way better than he deserves….

Jessikaah91 · Answer

To get over someone, get under someone else!
I know cheating hurts I've been cheated on by almost everyone and honestly it really does take time, you may even start thinking that he did it because you're not good enough which can cause mental health issues such as depression and even struggling to trust in the future but you need to remember that it's not your fault you are good enough and every guy isn't the same as the last! Take some time for you!

TheorionMage · Answer

The responsibility for infidelity lies with BOTH parties... in good conscience did YOU commit at least as much as you'd sought from the other HALF?

IF... in honest candor, to oneself you can answer truthfully 'yes'... then, it was 'the other' who's at fault.
YOU brought YOUR 'best' to the negotiations table! The 'failure' lies with THEM~

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Thankfully never happened, but one thing's for sure:  I don't dwell in the past.  🏃🏻‍♀️ If something like that happens, I'm moving the hell on and continue living my best life. Do not isolate yourself. Learn and continue to grow.

Anonymous · Answer

Still going through it (been a month since I found out) and let me tell you that times does heal. Let yourself grief, cry, get mad, just let yourself feel all the emotions you’re feeling. Vent to friends and most importantly, don’t let their shitty action affect your self worth. They messed up and it doesn’t define who you are as a girlfriend. Just treat yourself nicely, work out, get hotter and exude confidence. It’s their loss.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is only sex and not the end of the world. Move on, meet someone else. It is not how you fall down, but how quickly you get back up again.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

first let yourself feel what you need to feel but then, focus on different things, your work, self-improvement, friends and family

madewithingredients · Answer

in my opinion, take a Human Behavioral Biology class. im not saying all behavior is excusable. but having an understanding of how behavior comes about puts things in perspective.

insanebarneykidd · Answer

its easy actually its not my fault if my partner cheated how ever i would learn my lesson and choose wisly next time
and yes there always next time for you he is not the last man on earth and there is always someone better than what you had

exitseven · Answer

You have to just suck it up and move on. She is not worth the grief. I would take all the pain and force it down into some crevice in my brain and leave it there to fester.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I would dump her and move on. There would be relief, not trauma, that I did not waste more time and energy on someone like that.

worldscolide · Answer

As someone who has been cheated on twice. You never really do. Eventually you start to understand that not all men are like the ones that cheated on you.

Anonymous · Answer

If you really love someone and they cheat on you that betrayal hurts. My ex cheated on me for a year and honestly it would have hurt less if she had shot me instead

rosemilk · Answer

the only true way is to work through it in therapy

GeminiDiamond · Answer

No story? Simply, move on! I mean if that is all I have to go off of. What other choice do you have? How you move on is up to your will.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Anger. Once that replaces sadness, I am good just like that.

Bety23 · Answer

It so hard to get over that and it’s hard to trust again

Anonymous · Answer

Cheat back! Hook up with a black guy and tell your loser ex how much better the new sex is!

Anonymous · Answer

I don't believe there is such a thing as cheating. It's just sex that I didn't get to watch.

jahaims · Answer

By realizing it's 100% about who the cheater is as a person and not you

Anonymous · Answer

Let me know if you find the answer. I was cheated on by two exes and my head is still messed up.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Only time will do that. When did this happen to you? I mean like how long ago

dustybiker2 · Answer

Be aware of the signs and don't repeat.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Therapy and talking to friends

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Slowly... it takes time.

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Live your best life

Luckycharms12 · Answer

That's life shit happens

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆

How do you get over the trauma of getting cheated on?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How do you get over the trauma of getting cheated on?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.