Is it normal to act a bit flirty at my workplace and get drunk once in a while with friends?

[Anonymous]

I'm only 34 and already have two kids. Our oldest daughter is now 17 and younger son is 13. My now wife (then girlfriend) and I had her when we were in our junior year of HS. Both of our parents helped us too. Then we got married at age 20.

I was pretty much forced to mature earlier than usual. Once in a while, I have some urges to act out on everything I missed. While my other friends were going on trips, their HS prom, frat parties, stay all night watching games and other things many young people do, I was stuck with working more, arriving home tired and providing for our daughter. She was born exactly 1 day after my 17th b-day.

I've been lately getting a bit flirty with two women at my workplace, in a jokingly manner obviously. I have no intentions of ever asking them on a date but can joke around and laugh. Then this is the 2nd time in a month that I've gotten drunk (that felt like new to me) with my friends. Is this normal? Will these urges go away?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa man, I can understand why you've felt like missing out on some of that usual young adult fun over the years, but getting flirty at work and drunk regularly ain't the move.

The flirting especially is playing with fire. Even if it feels harmless joking now, those lines can get blurry quick and cause drama you don't want. Not worth messing up your job or marriage over.

As for the drinking benders, twice in a month at your age is heading toward being a problem rather than just blowing off steam. Letting loose is one thing, but it's a slippery slope, you know?

Instead of acting out risky behavior trying to recapture your youth, maybe try exploring other healthy ways to reconnect with that side of yourself. Pick up a fun hobby you've always wanted to try, or plan guys trips with the squad doing active outdoors stuff.

Overall just take it easy. You've got a great life and family - no need to jeopardize what you've built up over the years. Appreciate what you have now, my man. Those father-daughter moments are more important than any party ever was!

[IslaTheWitch]

"Will these urges go away?" no, they won't. You, as an adult, make them go away.

[Asker]

I've basically been an adult since I was still in HS, forced to grow up too fast. I think my urges is base on the reality that I never had a chance to enjoy my youth.

[IslaTheWitch]

it changes anything, still you are responsible for them

[IslaTheWitch]

it doesn't change anything*

[DrPepper12]

They wint go away.

[Asker]

I wish I could stop thinking about it.