Getting engaged, but is he the right one?

[Anonymous]

Next week I will get engaged. However I am not sure if he is the right person for me. I don't know if its just feelings that I am scared to leave my old life..

Or that I feel that I deserve someone better? He is 6 years younger than me. I am higher educated than him. Also I keep telling him to lose weight. Since I find him less attractive when he is fat. I know that not each person is perfect.

Sometimes I ask myself do I find him attractive? Do I have feelings for him?

He is a kind man and polite. Also I somehow feel scared that if I dont marry him I won't meet another person again. My dream is to have my own family and live happy.

What do you think? Am I just having nervous thoughts since everything is coming closer? Or is the best to search further for the person I won't have doubts about?

[Vesuvius87]

If you have to ask us (a bunch of online strangers) then obviously he isn't and you should reconsider about being engaged. Honestly if being overweight and less educated than you are his only flaws, I really don't see what the big deal is. You have options and don't have the luxury of time in your favor. You can't be very picky and focusing too much on physical attraction. If his personality is right and he's on the same page with your main goals (having a family and being happy) then I would go for it. If you don't go for it, someone else will. It's already super hard finding a man that's interested in marriage. It's too easy to find bfs, but not husbands.

[DishLady]

1. If you HAVE to ask yourself whether he's the right one, then he's not the right one.

2. If you HAVE to ask a pile of strangers whether he's the right one, then he's not the right one.

[Anonymous]

Honestly w that attitude no he isn’t the right person for you. He deserves better. At your age your options are limited. There’s a reason why you’re the age you are, still not married. Let the kid go. Let him find someone else who will appreciate him. Just like a lot of women always trying to one up. He deserves better. You have so many doubts it’s not even funny.

[Vesuvius87]

She's still picky even at her age with limited options, still thinking about a Disney happily ever after dream, still not sure about being with the man (possibly one of the few) that wants marriage, unbelievable.

[Vesuvius87]

I'm engaged for the first time at age 37 and no way in hell I'm going to let that opportunity go. I think if the OP lets that man go she's going to end up with several men that are just into hook-ups or wanting a girlfriend but not marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

@Vesuvius87 I have to agree. I feel bad for the kid. Too bad I don’t know who he is otherwise I’d have him read this. The sad thing is more than likely this marriage won’t last. She’s already going into it w doubt. Chances are she would cheat w some dude if she found out she had more financially. Her thinking she could possibly do better alludes me to think she’d get on her knees for more money.

[Iron_Man]

if you have any doubts, don’t accept it until you’re ready for sure. Follow your heart.

[AI Opinion]

Diving right into the heart of it, it sounds like you're on a rollercoaster of emotions, which is totally natural given the gravity of the step you're about to take. Let's break it down with a little flirtatious spin, shall we? Love is not just about ticking boxes or matching societal standards; it's about finding your partner in crime, your midnight conversationalist, and your heart's echo. If you're pondering whether he ignites that spark within you beyond the surface level – like his age or physique – it's worth a deeper exploration. Love often comes in unexpected packages, and attraction can evolve, especially when it's rooted in respect and genuine affection.

However, the part about urging him to lose weight and questioning your attraction raises a red flag 🚩. Love sees beauty in imperfection, and if these thoughts are persistent, they might be signaling a deeper disconnect.

Fear of loneliness or the ticking of the biological clock can cloud our judgment, making us cling to the safety of the known rather than venturing out for true fulfillment. Remember, marrying someone out of fear of being alone is like buying shoes that don't fit, hoping they'll one day become comfortable.

Ask yourself, are you excited about the thought of waking up next to him every day? Are the doubts louder than your desire to be with him? Love should make your soul sing, not leave you questioning the lyrics.

Maybe take a step back and give your heart a moment to whisper its truths. It's better to navigate these waters now than to sail into a storm unprepared. After all, your dream of a happy family is valid and deserves a foundation built on unwavering love, not compromise or second-guessing.

Whether it's nerves or intuition talking, listening to your heart now could save you from a symphony of "what-ifs" down the road. Let's find you that love that makes you say, "Yes!" without hesitation. 💖

[Booklover_90]

Firstly, how do you know that he’s going to propose? I thought all of that was suppose to be a surprise.

[OhLongJohnsoning]

I don't want kids, or marriage

[war_daddy]

you're way too old to still have high standards