Should I be supporting my girlfriend and her son on vacation for a fair amount of money?

[mrgoodguy64]

My Girlfriend was in a bad divorce. After her marriage she moved in with me along with her now 13 year old son. I pay all the expenses for the house except for Groceries. Her only bills are a car payment of 300 a month and cell phone bill. I cover her health and car Insurance. She get's 2,000 a month from her ex and I give her 2,500 a month also so she doesn't need to work, She takes care of the home, Her Son and buys groceries. We have been dating for 5 years. during this time I have paid for all vacations, Dining out, trips for her and son to go away to visit her oldest son.

We have enjoyed very nice vacations, she wants to take her son and a friend of his with us for a 4 day vacation, the vacation is one they went on before but didn't stay in a nice place and had a really bad time. She wants her son to see what a really nice vacation is like, She wants me to foot the bill for 4 of us, Myself, Her, her son and son's Friend. I wouldn't take my own kids on this type of trip and I don't feel it's right that I pay for her son and his friend. I think she should pay for the two of them with the allowance she gets each month from her ex. Were talking about 1,800. She flipped out on me, that I don't like her son, that she doesn't have any money and I'm trying to control her. Saying I will only pay for trips that I approve and not treating her son well. by the way I drop her son off at School each morning and we get along great. I just don't want to set a precedent of her planning trips and me paying for things I don't want too.

[lightbulb27]

you have an arrangement and sound like most of it you are ok with and value, just not paying for this specific vacation and for the friend of step son. since you are making the money, you should say yes or no and both should agree to it. if she wants she can spend her own money as she saves, but that will create friction as she is saying.

I find saying yes and no is easier than saying no. people come to accept what is normal within whatever they believe is agreed. If this goes against what she thinks, then she starts to argue... especially when comes to the happiness of her son... which sounds flawed... he sounds spoiled but yea, kids like to have their friends.

I've paid for part of vacations and experiences for my wifes kids when we were dating, like took them swimming with dolphins. I did that because I wanted them to enjoy experience with me. I've done same for parasailing and jet skiis and such. eg it is money you have and made and is there for you to enjoy, live lifes experiences... you can't take it with you.

If you are opposed to the vacation, there's no value, too much risk, then don't do it and say yes to something else. Find something you agree on that you value in her and him and talk about that.

do share what nationality and age this scenario is. there are bigger wrinkles going forward to traverse... college, what happens if you die or she dies, estate planning, etc..

nothing wrong with kids doing work to save $ to take vacation... builds character!

[Avicenna]

That is beyond ridiculous, especially paying for her son's friend's vacation. And you shouldn't provide any financial support for someone who doesn't work and has a kid with some other guy. Her kid is old enough for her to get a job.

[DishLady]

Well isn’t she a rare and lucky little thing…
Single mom with TWO allowances and no marital shackles… She doesn’t ever have to work AND ALSO is waited on hand and foot by YOU, her EX and even her teenage son? AND she has all her insurance and vacations covered?


(Pfft. I’ve never heard of such a golden f-ing life for a non-royal. Wow… just WOW.)



Five years together… in two more years you two are considered “common law” so the clock’s ticking for you, buddy. Figure out whether you want to be a sugar daddy for life, and figure it out fast….


And NO, if she wants to go on vacation and she is getting over $4K monthly to use freely, then she can put on her big girl pants and save and organize it on her own. Don’t be such a doormat, man.



I know I sound harsh, but as a single mom who never asked anyone for anything and worked my ass off to give my kids everything they ever needed… I’m not getting why you’re bending over backwards to this extreme!


$4K monthly…. Many of us really have to hustle daily to make that much…. What does she even DO all day if you’ve done everything for her?


SMH. Don’t pay for any more… Just don’t.

[avery58]

She gets $4k a month total without going to work and is still complaining that she doesn't have money? Lol. Sorry to say but looks like she's taking advantage of you and living life on easy mode even without marriage. Not all housewives are like her, but she looks like she's milking the situation. If I were you I'd reconsider if I want to keep paying everything for someone that isn't even grateful.

[Iron_Man]

I agree with you. She’s probably real young and he’s 60 now

[AviatorTom]

You have been more than fair to her and her son. It's perfectly legit for her to pay for her son and his friend.

[imtiaz45]

Deciding whether to support your girlfriend and her son on vacation depends on your relationship dynamics, financial situation, and mutual expectations. If you have a serious and committed relationship, contributing could strengthen your bond and show support. However, it’s essential to communicate openly about financial responsibilities and ensure you’re comfortable with the arrangement. Consider discussing the vacation plans together, setting a budget, and agreeing on how expenses will be handled. Ultimately, mutual understanding and agreement are key to making such decisions.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/LtCmSF_gHCw

[Iron_Man]

Good night that’s like a wife without getting married. Is it worth it? She’s lucky she found the Lottery ticket. You know taking care of the house is not that big of a deal cleaning. You can do it yourself after work or the weekends or hire a maid you certainly can afford it. I have news for you most housewives do things at the very last second they relax all day and talk on the phone or are on the computer and watch soaps in the last hour. They finally start working before the man comes home. Makes it look like they’ve been busy all day. I’ve seen this many times I hope you’re happy. It must cost you of fortune if you ever need the money, will you actually have it if you run into an emergency?

[Iron_Man]

you’re getting ready to retire soon and I certainly hope you have some money saved up

[katiesmuff]

Just where is it we could find more stupid men like yourself! From the get-go of your story you don't sound anything like a normal rational individual. Seeing that here car payment is only $300 a month it must be some cheap piece of junk and you should buy her a new Cadillac or Lincoln so she has something more suitable for a fine woman like herself and her kid.

Is she allowed to bring her fuck buddies to the house when she needs a bit of dick?

[molonski2]

55555 omg , seriously she sounds like a Thai woman?

Man , you are being far too generous already , fortunately you must have quite a bit of money , this is beyond the beyond , be extremely careful with this woman , and NO you certainly should not pay for the holiday.

[Unit1]

Say What? Thai women are gold diggers like his girlfriend? 🫤

[Unit1]

That would make Puy Roti Lady of Bangkok cry and women like her too.

[molonski2]

@Unit1
Oh Hell yeah mate , region dependent in particular , but the kind of stuff the gentleman here described , she sounds just like a Thai , especially inviting the friend family member , then no matter how much he gives.. its more , more , more..
And the family dont give a shit about how she's getting the money.

Then you have Sin Sod ! Wholly fck.

[Unit1]

That's just ew.

[molonski2]

@Unit1
One Hi - So , great job , own money , new car ( under payments , they all are ) , " Ohhh 1st Class insurance due , you pay 20k baht " .. Umm No , its not my car.. " You are riding in it " ..
Umm yeah , drop me off and I will catch the bus. 555555

Same girl at wedding I was invited to " You pay mum for table " ( table is 10 people ) ..
Umm How much per person? " 1250 b per person " ummm No , I'm a guest , I'm not paying for anyone.

[andreasderjuengere]

My view: the friend pays for himself. He's got parents (or the equivalent) himself.

''Liking'' (or not) someone else's son is not a matter of payments. I think that here the Missus exaggerates a little. Is she Asian, by any chance? :D

And: vacations can be nice to have, but they are not necessary as well. Probably a less ''costly'' variant will be exciting, too?

I share your view that such decisions should be made by all - not one only :)

[LiamJHayden]

Honestly it sounds like you are being played. Between you and her ex she is getting on $50K per year. That is over 1/4 million in the five years you've been together. She might be socking it away and planning her escape as soon as the son hits 18 or you stop paying her way in life.

[Billlewis]

If you can afford it, I recommend that you continue to pay for whatever she asks you to, but that's just me.

[Miristheiss]

No.

Do not fund some girlfriend's life. Do not date single moms.

Your standards are WAAAAAAY too low.

[RingOfFire]

You should not have to pay for her son and his friend it's ridiculous.

If she wants them to go she should be paying for them.

[Gospeedracer]

You are 60 and your dating a woman that is young enough to have a 13 year old. You are a sugar daddy.

[jahaims]

Simp