Is he still in love?

[Anonymous]

I am with a guy a couple of months. Somtimes we talk about our past relationship. He often comes back with one woman. He was in love with her about 10 years when He was already married. After divorce He starter spedning time with her. They were "together" about 4 years. I mean "" because there were weired dinamics beetwen them - He loves her but she didn't, this was a relationship without sex, kisses, touch etc. He was spending time with her and his and hers children like in a marriage. He wanted more but she doesn't. He even talked to his children about how important she was in his life. After 4 years their "broke up". He still think she is a great girl, they have lots in common, they were talked for hours, do lots of things together etc.

And we met about a month after they went apart. I have really big doubts about his feelings for her. He said that he loves me and want a normal life but... He dindt even talk to his kids about our relationship - i am treated like a collegue not girlfrend and he didn't end the relationship. They text sometimes and his kids want to go to her house because he didn't told them that they are not together anymore (as he said the kids will forgot). I dont know if he really love me, am I only a temporary girl? When tell something not. nice about her he gets angry, and then he likes to compere her to me. And he still has hers pohotos, messages etc. She also gets jealous a bit because after he post our picture she stared to text him. When i wanted to talk about it he said that I am stupid, i make up nonsense, and he only loves me. I dont know what to do?

P. s another thing that finished me off - today he named me after his ex-wife

What should I do?

[AI Opinion]

My goal on Girls Ask Guys is to help navigate the bumpy path of relationships, and oh boy, does your situation have some twists! It sounds like he's stuck in a relationship limbo with more drama than a reality TV show. 🚥 Loving someone else while hanging onto a past flame is like trying to juggle hearts – not easy and often ends in a crash. 💥 Those red flags? They're waving like a parade! The ex-photos, the comparison games, and the 'oops-wrong-name' moment scream unresolved feelings. Trust your gut and have a real talk with him about his commitment. You deserve to be more than an option! 💪💕 Stay strong, and know that love is too precious to be wasted on someone who isn’t fully in the present with you.

[DishLady]

Tbh, a relationship that lasts that long doesn't just vanish. I reconnected with an old friend and in speaking with him I realized he was still in love with the girl from his childhood... even though, according to him, she'd become intolerably toxic. He put in effort to be available to her, to make her comfortable around his friends and family, to let her into his heart and soul... and when things fell apart he still tried to keep it all together, but she did terrible things to him -- gaslighting, tossing things that his mother (who just recently passed) had left him, etc. etc. etc. He still did all the counseling, all the legwork to make this into a functional marriage... and finally he just had to give up because she was just a terrible person. (Thankfully, no kids... that would have been a TOTAL sh**show.)

But you can tell when you talk to him that he's still in love with her. He still thinks about her, still says "our" about things that aren't his anymore, still refers to her as "my girl" though she's as far from being his girl as Pluto is from the sun...

Guys have hearts and feelings too. In the case of the guy who's still pining for his old sweetheart... there's possibly a part of him that is hers till the end of time, but you need to sit with him to determine if he's emotionally available to be with YOU or if he's more than 5% attached to his old flame.

[Anonymous]

I’d leave if I were you. Sounds like there’s still feelings and for him to get with you after one month sounds like rebound. His life is still so in twined with hers when there’s no point, it’s not like they have kids together or anything. I just think you’d be very heartbroken if he left you first and for her of all reasons.