I probably am.
As a child I ran several years behind in my development.
I have struggled severely with Trauma, which started during my childhood, for most of my life.
My previous, emotionally, abusive has destroyed me.
'Immature' would not be the first word to describe... after all I, as a person, have grown tremendously during my previous relationship... though I am most certainly not relationship material; I am simply too damaged, got too much baggage.
If I cute, pretty lady has no issues with that... I'll be hers, and hers alone. I will love her unconditionally and will stand by her no matter what.
@Crimsyjo I've been alone for most of adult life, so I never had any real reason to 'grow up', it was just surviving in which ever way worked for me; but when I was 29 I got my own family. The ex finally allowed me to move in with her (long story), and I became the father of her 1 year old daughter. I had to improve myself to be able to be a good partner and father. End of the year my son was also born.
The ex wasn't interested in doing anything with me, so I have done everything alone: raising the kids, managing the finances, etc
Of course I have mistakes... and we were not rich of course... but we really didn't have it bad; the ex was just never satisfied. After 11 years I had outlived my purpose after she had thoroughly destroyed me, and I got cast aside. I've lost everything... partner (I don't mean the ex; but having a partner), my kids, nice flat, all the furniture... everything.
So while that relationship did ensure I improved tremendously... it has also thoroughly destroyed me. I am back to how I lived prior to that 'relationship'... though I have most certainly grow up somewhat.
If I can get back what I have lost (Partner + my kids + nice house), I'll be happy; I don't need anything else.
This is used to be more of a guy problem. Now women are doing this more and more. It’s really bad all the way around for everybody.
But at least you are owning up to it. That’s the first step in correcting a problem is admitting you have one.
But do you want to change? Are you really “happy” with deciding that you are too immature for a relationship? I somehow seriously doubt it.
I did a lot of reevaluation on myself and I don’t think I can handle being in one. Like I said in my post, I’m too selfish. I only care about myself and what I want.
To be honest, I have no intention to change. I value my freedom too much to give it up for someone.
You can do what you want. But droves of women are acting the way you are more and more nowadays.
Is that good for society? Is it?
Do you actually care what happens to society?
Yes I do. Because you are NOT an isolated example. You rub off on other woman and vice versa. This mentality harms me and other men when we try to date and start relationships.
Many people don’t understand the long term negative consequences to themselves and others that selfishness brings.
To be honest, I don’t care 🤷♀️
Well if you didn’t care, then why did you post about it? The truth is you DO care. If you didn’t then you wouldn’t be wasting your time posting about it on GAG or even thinking about it.
But you are looking for someone to give you affirmation that it’s “okay”.
If you say so 🤷♀️
So, if I didn’t post about it, it really means I don’t care?
I was simply asking a question for everyone to see. Also, giving facts about myself. Everyone answered honestly about themselves and didn’t make this a whole big thing like what you’re doing.
To be honest, I don’t know what you’re so worried about me for.
You can’t deny that you are thinking a lot about it.
Just remember you aren’t “rebelling” against anyone but yourself. I constantly see “modern” women say crap like this because they feel they are rebelling against someone, something, society or some nonsense. No they are just doing it to themselves.
Ok, who am I rebelling against? I would love to know.
When you asked if I was willing to change, I said no. But, clearly that wasn’t enough for you. What do you want me to say that’ll satisfy you?
If you are were so confident that you are doing the right thing then you wouldn’t waste your time even posting about it.
Hey it’s your life. Do what you want. But I am seeing lots of western women with the same attitude as you. It’s really not good for anyone. That doesn’t mean women (or anyone) should be “compelled” to date. But me disagreeing with isn’t the same as trying to “force” you or some nonsense.
Ok, what do you want to say right now that’ll make you happy?
And why do you care so much what I post?
If you have a problem with me or my post, report it or block me. Do something!
No, I’m 21 and living with my fiancé, and we’re doing great! We didn't plan on living together, we were kinda forced into it when my life was threatened for being a non-observant ½ Jewish woman during the Pro-Palestine protests after 10/7. But our relationship is very healthy, and we are doing great.
Thank you so much for the MHO @Peridot25 I genuinely appreciate that. 🤗 🥰
Yes... I've got the same things as you plus I get very emotionless at times (which is better than when I used to have no emotions at all.) But I'm a 14 year old girl, Im supposed to be immature. At least let me be immature until I get to college.
Yes, I'm still trying to be kid at 18.
@DanicaPhoenix Lol, good.
@Peridot25 Thanks for the MHO!
Opinion
25Opinion
I actually think that the fact that you admit that you have things you need to work on, speaks to quite a great amount of emotional maturity. Not a lot of people admit their faults or even think they have faults or things they could improve on. Or have great self-awareness.
So I applaud you for that.
I can admit that I've definitely been too immature in the past... because I was a late bloomer not dating in high school a not sexuality active till 20 n being with one woman for more than five years... n then only a few short term relationships over a 10 year period
And with woman with significantly more experience.. so looking back, ... mm yup be stupid thing to deny
I was for a long time and dis the same. A girl looked at me and id run or shut down.
Definitely want to be emotionally mature to handle humans before allowing ine in the housr or making new ones.
nope. if you're actually in love, just straight up calling it quits when it gets rough, having communication problems, being selfish, just does not happen.
Sounds like my brother's wife! 😂
More people need to admit this. To themselves and others!
How is still married to her?
*is he
She flips out goes shopping leave the kids with him and goes off for a while... Coming back in awful shape after partying...
Her kids are kinda understanding this and are now old enough to know what goes on!
He is still faithful to her but she is never faithful and loves the social media attention.
He needs to leave her and take his kids with him. She has no intention of being a wife and mother. She wants to act like a teenager without responsibilities.
So just like you only you realize that! So never going to marry or wait till your ready?
Nope. No marriage or anything. Just stay single and continue living my life.
And if you get pregnant like most girls living the single life? Abortion? Settle down? Single mom?
LMAO 🤣 I’m sorry, but that was funny. You’re not the only one who thought that way about me.
N
Yup know the type always the same story or you end up with a cat! 🐈
Actually, I have a dog
But, yeah. You’re not the only who assumes that I’m the type who sleeps around. Many people do.
That’s ok though. I really don’t have the energy to correct anyone. You know how exhausting it is to do that? It’s better to let someone make up something about you in their head.
But, you know what’s funny? You thought your brother’s wife was going to be loyal and responsible once she got married to him and had kids. But, looked what happened.
O heck no I told him she was trash! He thought she would be loyal and stop the party. Wanting kids with her and she barely cares for them.
And yet, here I am sitting at home and watching The Big Bang Theory. You still think I’m just as bad as his wife?
I think there are types of people and you painted yourself as a type.
I think you would give up on anything serious or worth it
And don’t you think I should get points for doing the right thing and not entering a relationship?
Not really just mean your never going to try and get better. Forever the easy girl dude use for friends with benefits! Till you get knocked up
LMAO 🤣 You so wish that was true about me.
But, hey! Whatever makes you feel better. You can make up all scenarios you want.
What ever helps you sleep 😴
So have the most beautiful woman next to me now!
Is it your brother’s wife? 👀
Na my own but good insult!
No, since I wouldn't be engaged to my fiancé if I were too immature for a relationship.
Yes, but something you said makes me wonder, If you were with the right person, why would things get rough?
Yeah that update would make for a pretty lousy relationship lol
I have no illusions and my expectations are low, I think I'm too mature for a relationship. XD
Calling it quit doesn't show u are immature, simply if u can't get along and mentality is really diffrent then call it a quit.. It doesn't matter to stay in it if she ain't getting into my frame.
Ha! I can admit there’s no requirement to say yay or nay for being in one. Some people are very intelligent yet silly and for most, that’s valued. So for others, this would appear immature.
There’s different people out there for a reason.
Ano. Yes. There are always things to work on before you are ready for a relationship and when there are too many it's clear -- I have had to break up with people because of that
I can admit to that, and also I have traits that I feel not just any woman could either like or let alone tolerate 😄🥱
yes
yet here i am in one after taking a break for a while lol
kind of in one
I don't think that's the case. I think both immature and mature end up in relationships. I ve known some pretty messed up people who get married. Prisons are full of married people.
i mean "too immature for a relationship" highly depends on what you're personally expecting from a relationship.
At least you can admit it. There are thousands of women and men who ask questions here who should never be in relationships.
No. I can not admit I'm to immature for a relationship, though I definitely am to immature. I just can't admit it lol. And I've been in mine for 28 or 29 years.
I wouldn't say I'm immature because I got my feelings in check, it's just I'm not ready.
I'm probably too selfish to maintain a romatic one long term.
No. But I've probably seen too much of what women are capable of. It would take an exceptional woman for me to trust her at this point.
Past me probably was but also single at the time so it kind of didn't matter.
I don't think anyone can know until they've been in one.
I'm quite immature but more I don't take shit seriously and have a laugh a lot
Sure!
You're too immature for a relationship.
Was that good enough?
I am admitting it. 🤷🏻♀️
The last woman who told me that woke up with a Sharpie mustache and no eyebrows
No she didn’t 😂
m I'm not immature like that
but... when I was definitely not ready for relationships, I never tried to get into one either
@NathanDavis
And welcome back, Mr. Perfect. And how did you know, as a teenager, that you were already mature? Or as a twenty-something? Tell us how it looked from the perspective of the perfect Mr. Davis. Maybe people here have a chance to learn something?
@idonotlikeyou well, I didn't know it for sure 100%, of course not...
but basically... it was sort of like one of those MRI with contrast that you guys do over there... if I know what something looks like, and in this case feels like, the contrast might be an indication of the otherwise, so yes...
it was around 16 years old, that I could see and feel a significant change and improvement had already happened, or at least good enough to give it a try
to be more specific, the last pace towards the hurdle was about opening up, and trusting other to get on my side, and by my side... that's the one thing I was afraid and concerned with, to become a burden to others, other than myself
luckily, it didn't go the wrong way... so that was a start, but not the complete journey... about 12 years of introspection, give or take... paid off, for the most part
the job is never done though, you just work on it to keep on top of it, as you must
@NathanDavis
This is a beautiful story. Is this how you deceive yourself? 16 minus 12 equals 4, so you’ve been doing introspection since you were 4 years old? Do you realize that a 12-year-old can rarely admit an uncomfortable truth to themselves? Yes, children can look within and share what they feel. Still, they don’t have the ability to analyze their OWN emotions, especially when those emotions don't align with their ideal self or the expectations of their environment. The true ability for introspection emerges around 14, when young people, after a developmental leap, can accept internally uncomfortable truths about themselves. That's when they start analyzing cause-and-effect relationships and concluding. Of course, noticing causes and effects and drawing conclusions appear much earlier, but without the ability to accept negative truths about oneself, they don’t contribute much.
@idonotlikeyou allow me to draw a more clear line for you Miss Doctor...
"do you realize that a 12 year-old rarely..." yes, it rarely happens but it does happen, and I was definitely a rare one, just at it is rare and unusual for a four year old to read and write properly, or do any math, I however... started to read and write and learned some math mostly on my own, around the age 3... but the time I was five, I was already writing and reading to at least, middle-school level... and same with some math, rare indeed, unusual... but not impossible, and trust me, I was no average kid back then
introspection didn't begin at age 4 though... that one begun around age six, when I entered elementary school, and I was way more exposed to other people, other settings and many, new circumstances... in which of course, having a LOT of exposure to outside experiences made me realize much more about who the hell am I...
so, perhaps this where the confusion starts, it is true that kids are not able to full grasp a reality nor they are well equipped to properly analyze or handle most emotions, and I didn't say I actually had it all under control, you see... I didn't have a control of myself and all the elements of myself, but I had the awareness to realize a LOT of things about myself, not to analyze and control, and "tame" let's say, no... but awareness and the ability to pin point many of them, yes...
another thing you say, is accurate... it is maybe around mid-teens of age, in which one is perhaps more adept to come with some understanding, some progress, some development, which is pretty much my case maybe not age 12 to 14, but around age 16 yes... as I said, it was around age 16 in which I noticed a significant "progress" and by progress I do not mean a "full job done" no, because my introspection journey was not close to being "complete or finished" even at age 20 or 22... I was still into it, but... I am sure you can understand how progress and development works... it is a gradual process, and at that... it was not one I had to do alone by the "second part" of that journey
friends and ex-girlfriends were part of that process too...
deceiving myself was not part of that journey... and personally, I don't think it is a journey that will ever end, and I consider that is still, ongoing... it's just that, nowadays is a much more please ride, rather than a turbulent one...
@NathanDavis
There's a trade-off between early learning and emotional development. The faster a child learns at a young age, the longer the process of emotional development takes. Our brain has a limited capacity for processing emotions, and if a child quickly learns to write, read, and count (which is not that exceptional), it simultaneously postpones the analysis and assimilation of other things for later.
That's why people with limitations in one area are very good in others. Some individuals with Down syndrome exhibit incredible emotional intelligence, while others have extraordinary mathematical skills in specific areas or phenomenal memory. Many people with autism are incredibly intelligent. Our brain prefers to work at a certain level - not too low or too high. So whether it's an awkward autistic person who is a brilliant physicist or a 3-year-old who writes, reads, and counts at the mid-school level, the brain is doing the same thing. It invests in one area, depriving others of attention.
This means that your brain had fun absorbing new knowledge but neglected other areas, including emotional development. There’s no rule as to when our brain will pick up the abandoned development areas. Sometimes, it depends on necessity and sometimes on other factors.
@NathanDavis
So, at the age of 6, when you felt completely out of place with your peers and your emotional development was disrupted, you started making the only decisions you could come up with yourself, having much theoretical knowledge but delayed emotional maturity. You tried to logically solve your emotional problems and put your emotions aside because they were difficult, challenging, and impossible to negotiate with.
In another comment, I described the entire process of accumulating and releasing emotions.
Did you know that in societies based on clans and tribes, one of the first things children are taught is to "ask for help"? Adults explain to children that they know less, and it’s natural to come up with their problems and talk about them. In such societies, courage is not about suppressing emotional pain but not hiding it. Very few in our society even know what that means or understand the difference.
Did anyone ever tell you as a child that you could come and talk about anything and that you would be, above all, listened to and accepted with your feelings? How many people offer you this now that you’re an adult? "How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about something? Are you facing something difficult? Or maybe you just want to share something? I’d be happy to listen to you." Mr. Davis, how many people say this to you every day?
So your psyche, which has already not been developed according to the schedule, made decisions that you are grateful for. You didn’t seek support from people close to you or a specialist, and I assume it’s still not something you consider.
Well... all I can do is wish you good luck. And to the people around you, lots of patience and understanding.
I can, that's how my first one ended.
all women are coocoo. and men love that eh
Don’t beat yourself up
i would if it were true
Because dating is near impossible now
But you're 30...
And?
Nope. I don’t want that responsibility. I’m content being single.
nope, can you?
You did read my whole post, right?
Do you have a cat?
I have a dog
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