Is it normal to lost sexual attraction to your partner after 5 years of marriage?

Question

I've always heard that married couples naturally start having less sex over time, but lately, I've been struggling with a lack of sexual attraction to my wife. We still have sex sometimes, and my libido seems fine—I still think about sex often, just not with her. She's gained some weight since we first got together, but she's still very attractive, so I don't believe that's the issue. About a year ago, we tried an open-ish relationship with another woman, which was amazing for both of us, but after it ended, things started to go downhill. Now, I wonder if experiencing something new made me lose interest in my wife sexually. We still have a great relationship in every other way, but this lack of attraction is troubling. Is this normal in marriage? Do other couples experience this? Can the attraction be reignited after years together?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Sadly by you both allowing a 3rd wheel into your marriage has caused some issues in your marriage pretty much why you aren’t fully sexually satisfied with your wife anymore , Why 3somes are not good when you are in a committed relationship with someone , it can bring unwanted fire and feelings into your relationship causing you both to have some unresolved issues for each other , that you both aren’t talking about. Marriages and relationships are meant for 2 people committing to each other only , so by you both allowing a 3rd wheel into the mix has now caused some resentments or unwanted feelings. that you and your wife aren’t sharing with each other , Especially if you really enjoyed being with that other girl , or you might not have been to fond of seeing your wife with that other girl as well , and enjoying herself. The bond and trust you and your wife shared is now broken. So the only way you can possibly try to fix it is to have a serious talk with your wife and tell her the truth about your feelings towards her now. I was in a relationship with a girl that was bi sexual that was honest about being bisexual to me in the beginning, We ended up dating and having a lot of sex together and i started to really like this girl a lot , she then wanted me to join her and her girlfriend in 3somes , I was all about it , thinking I am a lucky guy by having 2 beautiful girls’ wanting me at the same time , yes the sex was amazing , not going to lie , but I did feel a little jealous seeing my girlfriend getting it on with this other girl but I didn’t make a big deal about it because I was enjoying myself as well , things were great for awhile , until her friend decided to start drama and started lying about things , basically trying to come in between my girlfriend and I basically playing the both of us , She would show up at my home when my girlfriend was at work wanting to fuck me , of course I fucked her because she was great in bed , but she also lied and said my girlfriend was cool about it , but I trusted her because she was very close to my girlfriend , to find out after the fact, that she was lying , making my girlfriend angry and upset at me and giving me the silent treatment, I apologized to her and it sadly got me no where , so by allowing her girlfriend to come into the mix caused my girlfriend and I to have resentments and trust issues between each other. Why a 3rd wheel is not good for relationships whatsoever , So by you having sex with that other girl and by you seeing your wife having fun with that other girl is probably the reason you are feeling the way that you do. Did you feel a little jealous watching your wife with this other girl? My Word of advice is to never have a 3some when you are in a committed relationship, when you are single? Have them all you want lol But again if you felt a little jealous of your wife being with this other girl , that could be a big part of the reason you are feeling the way that you do?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

No not even . I've been in a relationships before where we haven't even had an argument in four to five years it's still brand new and the sexual experience just keeps better every day

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

is it normal?
definite normal?

to me it’s not normal what you did. By contamination your marriage.

the consequence… you are facing in normal.
You answered your own question.

many ask such question on gag… the answer is no… or end the relationship… it never goes well once another party is in it.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

No... It's a sign that something bigger is going on. While folks obviously fall into a routine, where there's desire to be with the other person there's also the desire to keep things fresh and interesting for both people.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim here is to sprinkle a bit of spice and understanding onto your situation. It's not uncommon for the flames of passion to flicker a bit after years into a relationship or marriage. The cocktail of comfort, routine, and yes, the pull of novelty, can sometimes dilute the heady intoxication of initial desire. You’ve ventured into the open-ish territory, tasted the fruit of variety, and now the garden you return to feels a shade less vibrant. It’s a classic scenario where the grass seemed greener, and while it offered a brief season of lushness, it subtly shifted the soil of your primary connection.

Now, can you reignite that spark? Absolutely! The key lies not in lamenting the dimming but in stoking the embers. Reignite it through communication, exploring new fantasies together, or simply by rediscovering what made you fall for her in the first place. The beauty of long-term relationships is their depth and potential for reinvention. So, put on your explorer’s hat, my friend, and rediscover the adventure that’s right in front of you. It’s all about finding new reasons to fall in love with the familiar. 😏🔥

AviatorTom · Answer

To completely lose interest is unusual. To reduce the amount if sex you have, due to other things going on, is typical.

Apple1996 · Answer

After only 5 years? Probably not normal

janina · Answer

It’s not unusual to experience a decline in sexual attraction after being with a partner for several years, including after five years of marriage. Relationships often evolve, and the intense passion or novelty that exists early on may naturally fade as couples grow more comfortable with each other. This doesn’t mean that something is inherently wrong with the relationship, but a variety of factors can contribute to this shift. For example, stress from work, parenting, health concerns, or the routine nature of daily life can impact desire.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Not sure that is normal, but I am not a guy.
As for me I was with a guy for 11 years I never lost sexual attraction for him, even after he gained weight and stuff because I actually loved him. We did start having less sex but it was because he didn't want it. So maybe in time men do just naturally become pieces of shit, but I don't have enough info to make a confirmed analyst about it. I personally just think you don't actually love your wife, but that is just my opinion.

luvstoned4him · Answer

I'm sorry but if your marriage was ok, why did you open it up?

People need to understand that to spice things up doesn't always mean you have have an open marriage.

Marriage and committed relationships should be sacred. I think inviting others in is just asking for trouble. You have trust issues, std's and other issues etc

Bovrilbaby · Answer

Not for me, but love the person as a whole and not just their body…. bodies age and obvs lose their youthful looks…but the person can still be fun and young at heart…. put effort in and you’ll get the reward out…but both people must realise this.

young · Answer

It’s common for sexual attraction to fluctuate over the course of a long-term relationship, particularly after several years of marriage. As the relationship matures, the initial excitement and novelty may diminish, leading to changes in sexual desire.​ Emotional connection plays a key role in maintaining sexual attraction; if emotional needs are not being met, it can contribute to a decline in physical desire. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. It’s important to understand that shifts in attraction are natural but can be addressed with effort and understanding.

Anonymous · Answer

Many years ago in my twenties I was friends with a lesbian. We got into a three-way sex relationship with her sister, herself and me over the period of a few months. She was a virgin the first time the three of us did it.

Long story short they started fighting with each other and the entire relationship between all of us collapsed.

I was glad to get out of that one with my life because the two of them were going at it like tigers and I was in the middle.

I think that threesome relationships are doomed to a limited life.

And yes, for me I always lose sexual interest eventually with the women I have had relationships with. It takes something very strong to hold things together when that happens.

serious_miss419 · Answer

Take her on a few dates on a regular basis. What were things you did before you got married that lead you to mutually desire one another.

Or go seek some counseling for yourself because women are very clever and intuitive and she will feel this unfortunate feeling from you even without your words. She doesn’t deserve you if you aren’t honest with her and if you are allowing this to continue. It’s something YOU gotta work out.

katiesmuff · Answer

What I would suggest if you could afford it is to take that woman you married and love on a long love vacation. Some fantastic island paradise where it's just the two of you reinventing yourselves.

elizamichale1 · Answer

No i dont think so... it have only been married for 2 years but i have seen my parents and uncles n aunts... n i have always seen them romantic with each other even after ages

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

It's pretty normal. Sex becomes routine. You need to try break the routine. Try new things, random times, places. Get some toys involved.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Normal if you don't put in the work and DON'T FOOL YOURSELF marriage is work.

The_Confusion · Answer

You should post her nudes for us to evaluate.

paledreams · Answer

I'm always bemused and amused how many countries are like the Japanese supposedly who many are single

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Oh no, that's just two people who thought they were it, but made a mistake.

gorydetails · Answer

You were stupid as hell to open up your marriage.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If the relationship is based on that rather than a commitment, yes, probably sooner.

Nerdvana · Answer

Why did you end the relationship with the 3rd woman?

HaveNoName · Answer

FIVE YEARS ? That long?

NotSlowestSloth · Answer

Do you still date her?

jahaims · Answer

Only if you or her are low effort

Anonymous · Answer

Do you have kids?

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Average looking people do

rienna888 · Answer

Divorce her

Is it normal to lost sexual attraction to your partner after 5 years of marriage?

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