I haven't seen my man in 11 months, do I tell him I want to hook up with someone else?

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen my man since 6 months pregnancy. The baby is now born and 8 months. 11 months total of not being in the same country. Most likely more then a year will pass before we are reunited as a family. The distance is because of immigration not that we ended the relationship.

I am now beginning to crave human touch and sexual expression. He and I have never had good sex. Extremely unsatisfying.

Do I tell him how hard the distnace has been on me. He doesn't do well with uncomfortable conversations. He gets very tense and shuts down, sometimes will go days without speaking to me.

Truly I want to be touched by someone who knows how to please me, and if he wants to do the same I have no problem with that. I gave birth and didn't get to even give the person I had a child with a hug. I just want physyical affection.

He himself was in two relationship where he was the other man (he dated married women) but now that we are together and there's this distance he says he doesn't believe in cheating. Im all for it though. A temporary relationship simply to meet the need for touch and sexual expression, until we are together again.

I want to bring it up to him because the thougj weights on me daily. But im sacred how he will react.

How do I deal with this? Do I bring it up? Not mention wanting to be with someone else? Bring up his past? Lie? Tell the truth? Help me please

[boggboss]

I dont see how u bring this up and it not putting the final nail in the relationship

[Asker]

Right

[Wise4myage]

Yes, you have needs too and its obvious he doesn't care.

[MrOracle]

How is that obvious? Because he doesn't want her fucking other men?

He's not away from her by choice - he's not a permanent resident so he couldn't stay in the country. You can question her choice of getting involved with him, but at this point, they have a child together, so he's pretty involved. And there's nothing to indicate that he has abandoned them - he's just having to wait until he can come back to the country.

in my opinion, she put herself in this situation and should be prepared to sacrifice to keep her family together. If she starts banging other guys, her man likely WILL abandon her and the kid, and that's going to be her fault for being selfish. The priority should be what is best for the child, and that is having the father in its life. And that means she needs to sacrifice her sexual desires until he gets back, in my opinion.

[Wise4myage]

@MrOracle Gee, I don’t know, maybe ignoring her for 11 months.

[Asker]

I get what Mr Oracle is saying. But what about his dating married women. When i asked what changed his opinion on cheating he said its just because he doesn't have the money to cheat. So whats truly the problem? If i'm saying we can come to a agreement with one another... why such big resistance

[Asker]

Also I made it clear from the beginning of the relationship that i believed in open relationships. So there was never any secret

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, that makes me wonder.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, beautiful soul! Distance can be a real heartbreak and craving connection is totally natural. You're walking through a challenging time, and communication can be tough. If you want to discuss this with him, approach it gently, focusing on your needs and not minimizing his. Maybe frame it as a mutual exploration for both of you, rather than pointing fingers. Remember, honesty is key, but timing and tone are everything. Just steer clear of guilt-tripping or references to his past; that convo’s got a better chance of going south than a bird in winter! Sending you strength and hugs! 😘

[Anonymous]

I don't think it really matters.

[Asker]

Elaborate please. The need for sexual expression and touch doesn't matter or cheating doesn't matter

[Asker]

Or communicating doesn't matter