My boyfriend is totally different?

[Lilibet]

I meet him last year September, we’ve been great. We moved in together in September and that’s when we started to have this conflicts. We fight almost everyday. He said few times that he wants to break up, then when we good I’m a love of his life. Then he says he don’t love me, then that he does. He had difficult childhood but I am just so sad because all the things he’s throwing on my face. Today he just bombed me. He said our sex is not good, that his ex was the only one he loved, that he’s not happy with me, that he feels empty. Yesterday we had a great time, laughing, having sex, eating dinner. I don’t know, what’s the fuck is wrong with me. What this is? I had so many bad relationships before, and when I meet him I thought his different, his good with my family, he was awesome with me before. I don’t know if I got so horrible that he started to have this hate feelings for me, or he was always like this. I think I love him, I don’t even know anymore, after hearing all this I’m literally nauseous. I also was pregnant 2 months ago, but lost it, and he was excited. I feel like his freaking bipolar or something. What do you guys think

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that sounds like such a crazy and confusing situation you're in with your boyfriend. Hearing him say all those hurtful things - about your sex life, his ex, and how he's not happy with you - must be absolutely devastating. I can't even imagine how nauseous and heartbroken you must feel.

It really seems like he's going through some major mood swings and emotional whiplash. One minute he's saying you're the love of his life, and the next he's putting you down and talking about breaking up. That kind of back-and-forth behavior is super toxic and unhealthy.

And then to add the trauma of losing a pregnancy on top of that? Girl, you've been through so much. You must be feeling so lost and uncertain about the whole relationship right now.

I think you might be onto something with the bipolar comparison. His extreme shifts in emotions and the way he keeps contradicting himself are definitely red flags for some kind of mental health issue. But regardless of the cause, his actions are completely unacceptable.

You don't deserve to be treated that way, to have him constantly putting you down and making you feel horrible about yourself. Even if he was great in the beginning, that doesn't excuse the way he's behaving now. Healthy relationships don't involve that kind of verbal and emotional abuse.

My advice would be to try to take a step back from the situation, if you can. Don't engage with him when he's in those meltdown moods, and consider taking some space for yourself to clear your head. You need to prioritize your own wellbeing right now.

I know it's hard when you feel like you love him, but you have to protect yourself, girl. This isn't a healthy dynamic, and it's only going to keep hurting you. You deserve so much better than that.

If he's willing to get help for whatever he's going through, that could be worth exploring. But you can't keep putting up with this abuse and flip-flopping. Set some hard boundaries, and don't be afraid to walk away if he can't commit to changing.

You've been through enough. Trust your gut, and don't settle for anything less than the healthy, supportive relationship you know you deserve. Sending you all the strength and hugs, girl. You've got this!

[Lilibet]

Thank you for your kind words. We had so many conversations like this before, and after we lost the baby, maybe few days after he said he doesn’t want to be with me, then he said he needs help and he should go to psychologist but then he never went. He said so many painful things in general, but yesterday was so overwhelming
And we just moved recently to this new place that I really like loved it, and I will have to move out, go back to my parents, I’m almost 30, and I think this is also what’s holding me. When I meet him I just thought that there will be no more this first awkward dates, no more asking questions like what you do for living etc, that I will have someone to share my life with from now on. Is just so disappointing

[Oliverlogan263]

I'm really sorry you're going through such a tough time with your boyfriend. It sounds like an incredibly draining and emotionally overwhelming situation. The constant back-and-forth between him saying he loves you and then wanting to break up must be so confusing and heartbreaking.

I can totally understand why you're feeling so disappointed, especially after moving in together and thinking you had finally found someone to share your life with. Losing the baby on top of all this must have been absolutely devastating.

You're right, having to move back in with your parents at almost 30 after thinking you had found that stability is really disappointing. That's a lot of change and upheaval to deal with. It makes complete sense why you might be feeling hesitant to let go of this relationship, even though he's been treating you so poorly.

However, you deserve so much better than someone who is going to say such hurtful, inconsistent things to you. The fact that he promised to get help but then never followed through is really concerning. It seems like he has some deep-seated issues he needs to work through, and that's not something you can fix for him.

As hard as it is, you may need to prioritize your own wellbeing and mental health at this point. Moving back home might suck, but it's better than staying in an unstable, toxic situation. You're still young and have so much life ahead of you. Don't let this guy's volatility keep you from finding the happiness and stability you deserve.

I know it's not easy, but you've got this. Focus on taking care of yourself, and don't be afraid to reach out to your support system. Better days are ahead, I promise.

[Summeroflove]

I hate to tell you that he put a front on pretending to be someone he wasn’t I would be extremely glad that you’re not married. You need to leave him ASAP as hard as it is to hear you’ll be glad later down the road.

Some people are like this by the time they show you who they really are inside people don’t want to see it until it’s too late. Unfortunately many of these people think if you fall for their lies and BS. They think you’re stupid enough to deserve it even if you don’t.

I am sorry about your miscarriage I am sure that was traumatic for you and him being happy about that shows you who this man really is. I don’t think he has your best interests at heart. Why he is using you could be many reasons. Maybe it’s for sex, maybe it’s for money, maybe it’s a lot of things.

He’s not happy and you’re not happy. You need to leave and take time to grieve this relationship for what it was. It’s a lesson to be learned that some people aren’t who they seem. Some people pretend to be everything you want and then…. Once they got you take it away from you.

[Summeroflove]

I seen 10 months ago you posted a question. Was this the same man? It seems that if he’s the same guy. Things haven’t been so great…. Maybe you worked things out for a time but

[Lilibet]

About the baby, I think I wrote it wrong, he was actually happy when he find out I’m pregnant, I was freaking out. He was getting me fresh fruits everyday, bringing me my vitamins, even talking to my belly and it was just the first trimester. He was very excited for the baby.
Tbh I had relationships before, my previous boyfriend was a narcissist and I also left, was hard but I was happy when I left, like a rock just feel from my body, I had some good relationship but it was always a rollercoaster. From what I hear from this old married couples it’s never perfect. But my current is always hot or cold. No in between.
He is carrying, sweet and kind, but then he sometimes switch to the person I just don’t recognize. From what we sometimes talk, he had very bad childhood, his parents never cared, his mom was biting him and yelling, his dad was humiliating him and yelling all the time. He never had money, his mom never even made him a breakfast. I’m pretty sure he has a childhood trauma that he needs help with. I feel like all this problems are caused by this because sometimes I see his parents in him. But I’m not psychologist and I told him that he should go see someone. Because he e had this conversation already, that he wants to break up, and then after he said that he has a problem and he can’t control it. But he never went for therapy, I don’t know if he’s to cheap or lazy. He prefers playing stupid games.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, love! It sounds like you're caught in a whirlwind of emotions, and things are a bit rocky in the relationship department. 🤔 Your boyfriend's behavior is sending mixed signals, which can be super confusing and painful. When someone swings from being hot and cold like that, it could be a form of emotional instability or internal conflict. Throwing harsh words your way isn't fair or healthy. Remember, you're not the cause of his emotional rollercoaster, and it's crucial to prioritize your well-being. Open communication and possibly seeking guidance from a relationship therapist might help untangle these knots. Your feelings and happiness matter, love! 💕

[PeterLegg91]

Call his bluff and threaten to leave him , see how he reacts re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[spartan55]

Na, just your garden variety shithead.