Who should take responsibility for an unexpected pregnancy?

Question

I'd say both partners 50/50, as after all it takes two to tango.

A woman whom I know is pregnant from her on and off partner and intends to keep the baby regardless of her partner staying with her or not. To be fair she's financially well off and she's indifferent about whatever decision of the guy, whom from my account decided to not recognize the baby while contributing financially for the upbringing.

My grandfather and father did something similar when they had children from women they weren't married to - they provided financially but wouldn't recognize the children as theirs.

I think that hypothetically I found myself in such a situation I would take my share of responsibility and follow what the woman would prefer to do - if she wanted to abort I would cover the cost and extra care, if she wanted to keep it I would provide financially and a comfortable lifestyle without recognizing them and not allowing them to take my surname (which is a privilege only my firstborn daughter has, the twins have my wife' surname - sounds weird but I too had to earn my father' surname and relinquish my mother's).

Updates

1 y

Coming back to this question, I recall that years ago my mother got pregnant with a guy she thought would have a long term future with.
The guy raised hell and pressured her so much to get an abortion that she got it, only for him to cheat on her and eventually dump her.

She keeps saying that in hindsight she should have dumped the guy and kept the baby and it's one of her life regrets.

BobbieBoy666 · Accepted Answer

The person carrying the pregnancy is the one who ultimately makes the decision about whether to continue with the pregnancy, have an abortion, or consider adoption. However, both parents are expected to share in making significant decisions about the child's life.

Here are some things to consider when making decisions about an unplanned pregnancy:
Legal rights
The pregnant person has the legal right to make the final decision, even if they are married. If the partner decides to parent the baby, they may be responsible for child support payments. If the partner wants to place the baby for adoption, they have some legal rights, but they may forfeit them if they don't act within a certain time frame.

Involving your partner
You can discuss your feelings and options with your partner, but you can't force them into a decision. How you involve your partner depends on your relationship and your feelings about it.

Seeking support
You can talk to someone you trust, like a doctor or counselor, to help you work through the emotional, financial, and practical issues. You can also talk to someone who has been through a similar experience.

While you can voice your opinion and wishes, you cannot force your partner into any decision – and neither can anyone's parents. Legally, the final decision between parenting and abortion is up to the one carrying the pregnancy, and your consent is not required – even if you are married.

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

It's a complicated question.

If the man is going to take half of the responsibility for the pregnancy, why shouldn't he also have an equal say as to whether or not to abort the baby or put it up for adoption?

To give someone equal responsibility without equal authority is not equality.

I should say that I do not support abortion, except in certain cases, but offer this as a counter question.

When you boil it down however, it is the woman who ultimately will pay the price for the pregnancy since she is the one who either has to carry the baby and deliver it or suffer the consequences of an abortion. And if the baby is born, there is no guarantee that the father will assume any financial or other responsibilities for raising the child or for any expenses involved. That's all just reality.

So the question is largely academic since it is the woman who will pay the biggest price regardless of who takes responsibility.

So the reality is that women have to protect themselves against an unwanted pregnancy and take responsibility for it if they don't want to suffer the consequences. Life isn't fair sometimes and everything in nature isn't perfectly equal. Nature doesn't care about equality, it has other values.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Nothing is unexpected.. if you are allowing a guy to cum inside you, it can happen even on birth control. So both knowing knew this could be the outcome and did nothing to prevent it. At the end of the day a woman can abort if they don't want the burden of a child but a man can't. The woman holds more responsibility of the kid because she holds the power to kill or keep it. I think if a man decides to opt out its on the woman to make the choice. Since as a woman why would you allow yourself to get knocked up by a guy who won't even marry you?

xcheerleader_jessx · Accepted Answer

Both parties need to take responsibility. You know the possible outcome even with protection. If you are going to engage in an activity where there is a REMOTE possibility (even with birth control) then you need to also be prepared for the consequences. It's a coward's way to seek abortion. Take accountability.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic tango of responsibility! You're right, it does take two. I agree that both partners should responsibly evaluate their situation. It's essential for both to communicate openly about expectations and wishes regarding the pregnancy. While financial support is crucial, emotional involvement matters too. Names, surnames, and family dynamics can be a personal matter, and yes, it sounds like a movie plot twist, but whatever works for you. The main thing is that the child's well-being, love, and support are at the heart of the decisions made. 🌟

ohsheeT · Answer

When you're in a relationship and you tell each other that you love them
You have to have each other's back you have to protect each other

And if the guy doesn't want to wear a condom for whatever excuse or 500 excuses that he might manipulate you at it means he doesn't love you it means that he's not going to protect you and never will and to be honest you don't want to be with that guy

I always tell girls you are the boss of your body nobody else you have to protect yourself at all times and your boyfriend or your partner whoever.

And if she does get pregnant then you start another journey

The girl gets to find out how deeply he does love her if he truly does because he will become responsible hopefully a parent

AviatorTom · Answer

Responsibility for the pregnancy is meaningless. Two people had sex, and Nature did what Nature intended sex to do, fertilize an egg. That's past history, and not gonna change.

The real question is who will be responsible for raising the child for the next 18+ years. That can be shared, or only one partner, where, traditionally, that falls on the female.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Every child should have two parents, mother and father, equally involved in their life.

Apple1996 · Answer

The man since he can control if he's gonna cum in the woman or not. Women cannot control their ovulation

Kori1236 · Answer

I mean I’d say 50/50 but if I were in the situation my decision is final. Letting him know is just a courtesy. In my roommates case she said she probably wouldn’t even tell him. She’d terminate; but they also had the baby talk and he was disturbed with her answer so I think he already knows if he got her pregnant nothing would become of it

Anonymous · Answer

Paper abortions should be a thing. Just like how I feel about physical abortions, there just needs to be an early time limit on them. Forced labor, pregnancy or employment, is a wrong. Once both parties agree to bringing a life into the world, they both have an obligation to take care of the basic needs of the child.

Fireguy17 · Answer

an unexpected pregnancy is what happened to the virgin Mary.
When a genetic male and a genetic female have sex there is always a chance that she will be pregnant.
All it takes is 1 strong swimmer and it is happy Mother's Day and Happy Father's Day cards for life.
Both parties took part in the event, so both parties are equally responsible for what they created.

Anonymous · Answer

"I would take my share of responsibility"

nothing wrong with that. both parents should

"and follow what the woman would prefer to do"

yeah no, this is silly and one-sided not to mention disastrous for the children

altaboy · Answer

I think both parents share the responsibility and therefore both should be ready to bear that responsibility together. I think every child deserves 2 parents, and should have two parents if possible. All other considerations are secondary to the needs of the child.

Raaj4you · Answer

Both man and woman are responsible. If a guy wants to have sex with a woman without a condom and cum inside her then he should tell her. If she agrees to have sex without condom and cum inside her. Then they both are responsible for the pregnancy. Otherwise women should take birth control pills in front of him. If the women skips the birth control pills on purpose then it's her mistake.

CindyRuns · Answer

I'd say both The woman for allowing you to have unprotected sex with her The guy for not wearing a condom unless he knew for sure the woman was on reliable birth control

genericname85 · Answer

obviously the 2 people who are responsible for the unexpected pregnancy. that's not a matter of choice. one is the fater and one is the mother and they should take the responsibility.

strateguy632 · Answer

No offense intended but her body her careful responsibility.  Take pills or be a nun.

Juxtapose · Answer

A woman literally has all the power to stop the pregnancy while the man has absolutely no say. Therefore the responsibility should fall squarely on her lap.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Women have all the birth control options, id say the woman. After all if they're allowed to abortion a child I should at least have the choice to abandon it

Vegasrunner · Answer

Women are going to take responsibility for it.

Staximus · Answer

It takes two to make a baby unless it's a magic baby Jesus

KrakenAttackin · Answer

The difference today is the availability of paternity test. After the test, we can talk.

art84 · Answer

Both parents should as it takes two people to have relations.

Emmytexrex · Answer

As sex without protective measures was acted by the two that's how responsibility is for the two

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Both equally. Adults know the result of having sex especially constantly without contraceptives.

saraupstairs · Answer

You nailed it.

jimmy2 · Answer

Both it took both not just one No brainier  Let it make sense

Nikki1989 · Answer

50/50 100%.

Agape93 · Answer

50/50 generally

exitseven · Answer

It takes two to tango.

tfan1 · Answer

Both. It takes two to tango dance 😉👍🙂

Graptemys79 · Answer

I agree with your position.

David5668 · Answer

It takes two to tango, so it’s 50/50 In my book.

grega239 · Answer

Her body, her responsability

EmmaMary · Answer

50/50 100%.

Anonymous · Answer

100% girls responsibility

Anonymous · Answer

very hard to digest but no abortion

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Men and women

jahaims · Answer

Both obviously

LiamJHayden · Answer

It takes two.

michalpl00 · Answer

Yeah, it is 50-50

In_Trance · Answer

Both

Anonymous · Answer

Both

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