What made you realize that you were in a toxic relationship?

[Desconhecida]

[Friendlybro79]

Gaslighting was a big indication. Grew up with a parent that is a highly manipulative narcissist so once I started feeling oh this is something I've experienced before, I left. See ya! Not worth it

[Unit1]

If it hurts, it's toxic.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, my aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help navigate the tricky waters of relationships. Realizing a relationship is toxic can be a bit like finding broccoli in your ice cream—not what you expected and certainly not delicious! For me, it was the constant feeling of walking on eggshells, the endless drama, and those sneaky red flags waving like they were in a parade. When communication felt like a battlefield and self-doubt crept in like an uninvited guest, it was time for a change. Recognizing these signs is crucial, and doing so can lead you to healthier and happier connections! 😊

[Summeroflove]

There are ways to know a relationship is toxic. Number one understand that nobody is perfect the difference is though good people feel bad when they hurt someone and don’t do it habitually. As well as aren’t doing things that are really horrible such as sleeping with a lot of people behind your back.

Abuse is the first obvious sign. Whether it’s mental, physical, sexual, emotional, or any other kind of abuse. That’s a clear sign the relationship is toxic.

Arguing all the time normal couples have arguments at some point. But remember in a relationship both people are on the same team. When it seems one person (or both) is working against the other. The relationship is causing a lot more harm.

The good days verses the bad days. If you find that the good days are getting fewer and farther in between. You can’t even remember the last time you laughed or enjoyed yourselves together. That’s a pretty clear sign.

Cheating is something that should NEVER be tolerated. You leave immediately whether it’s sexual, emotional, or romantic cheating. Cheating is destructive and when someone gets caught once they probably did it before as well as will again.

One sidedness. You’re putting all the effort in and getting little to none in return. It’s not worth it… That will be the remainder of that relationship if you marry that will be the rest of your life or until a divorce happens. If you’re planning everything, paying for everything, making the effort on everything, and they’re not contributing. Leave… Not only do you not deserve that there is someone out there deserving of those efforts.

Lack of communication…. When people don’t feel like they can talk about things. Their feelings. Their insecurities. Really anything… it’s probably toxic and will only get worse. If people can’t communicate like adults it will become very immature

[Finchie40]

Being constantly blamed for everything no matter what, being mocked and criticized by anything I did , nothing I did was ever good enough , Being with someone that had no dignity or respect for anyone but themselves, that could never take accountability for their selfish actions and behaviors ,. The relationship was one sided , her way or no way , Boundaries were only meant for me to follow but when it came to her , how dare she have to follow them. Lack of intimacy and affection, she used it as a weapon against me anytime I wanted to be close to her. Being lied to and treated like a convenience. The best thing I did was walk away from that toxic bitch. I feel bad for any guy that falls for her selfish ass

[monorprise]

They say a man needs 2 things in a relationship, sex, and to feel valued.

Yet today women are spoiled rotten with all the education and money in the world leaving men with little to offer while being filled to the brim with feminist red 'appealing to catastrophes' arguments about supposed abuse if they submit to a man and are not in control.

That need to control are of course and lack of respect is where the abuse comes from as they are trying to manipulate and control the man as a form of security. All the while inside they are likely even more insecure by the fact that they feel they need to do this rather than you simply being what they 'feel' they need from the get go.

Such women are seriously sick people yet sadly very common today because girls are not told no, and thus nobody corrects such women before they go too far.

This is a problem is the work place too, modern girls raised this way are a real problem to work with.

[Finchie40]

You said it right there with not knowing what the word No means , People that are raised that way see No wrong in their actions and behavior because they were never told No , they were always pampered and treated like they were always right and never wrong , so they don’t take accountability for their selfish actions and behaviors. Sadly a lot of females’ were brought up this way thinking she deserves to be catered to at all times , like how dare she break a nail or get her hands dirty , I know some guys’ were raised this way as well and those type of people are not relationship material whatsoever because they are one sided , their way or no way. If you end up in a relationship with someone with that selfish mindset , you are wasting your time thinking they actually love and care about you because all they care about is themselves, they can have a relationship all by themselves. Because they do not know the difference between right or wrong

[Anonymous]

I knew this woman for almost a decade. We got along very well. I felt like I could share just about anything with her. One day she started coming on to me. Since there was a significant age difference between us I'd never considered anything more than friendship between us so I didn't ask her out right away. But when I did she smiled ear to ear and then said, "sure I'd go out with you as a friend". I thought that was an odd qualifier since she'd shown obvious interest in me. But I shrugged it off. A couple days later I revisited this question and at that time she said she doesn't think we should go out. She said she didn't see me like that. At this point I thought to myself. OK, I just misread something... it happens. But after that when I tried to continue as nothing had happened she wouldn't let me forget it. At this point I had no interest in dating her, why would I? She had no interest in dating me. But she would always interject things into normal conversation like, "I don't want you to lead you on... blah... blah. it was really weird I'd never known a woman to act like this.

I'm not generally someone who judges people deeply. I take what people give me. So I'd never taken the time to examine her life or the things she would say. But as I did I come to find out every guy she'd shown interest in were already in relationships. Her life started to unravel like pulling on loose thread. It became very clear that she was coming on to me just to get my attention. Once I realized what she was about I tried to have little to no contact with her and tried to distance myself. But then she started stalking me. This continued for two years before she finally stopped. I guess I shouldn't say stopped. She'll still starts and stops every now and then.

In hindsight I realize that my inexperience with women like her was the problem. Now I know the signs to look for with toxic women and avoid them.

[admles]

That she could never EVER admit / realise / believe she was wrong.

She'd constantly pick fights and had this habit that, when she realised she was wrong / losing, would grab my phone and go through it to find something to get upset about (which was never anything by the way, I'm as clean as they come, but she'd find a way to misinterpret things deliberately).

Guys, if a woman is constantly going through your phone for no reason, there's a 99% chance SHE is doing something dodgy.

[Anonymous]

Violence, the fact that she can't control her rage when something didn't go as she wanted. The fact that she never accepted or got use to any reality as it was.
That she was absolutely convinced what she was doing was somehow justified no matter how absurd told me she was not in her right mind.

I didn't know her family as well as perhaps I should but when I later met them it only further confirmed her complains had nothing to do with me but how she seemed to see everything thou a negative colored glasses.

[naartjie]

When I was crying every single week. One day I was told I was the most beautiful and the very next I was ugly and gross (more harsh words were used but I’ll keep it decent here)
I couldn’t see my guy friends but he’d be at his female friends house that would cook for him…
I couldn’t dress too nice if he wasn’t around because then I was told I’m seeing another guy or I’m trying to impress other men…
My looks were made fun of a lot and I was always put down

[D_Bone_Steak]

My wife doesn't support me wearing a bedazzled neon green thong and flashing my dong for tips online.

I'm just kidding... she supports it but wants most of the money. It's my dong so it should be my money, right?

[DancingQueen16]

Well this wasn't a romantic relationship it was a friendship and I didn't realize it until after we stopped being friends but I realized the person I thought was my friend would put me down because I remember one time I told her about a toy idea I had and she told me it would never work

[Nikki1989]

When you start fearing for your life.

[Den1971]

I've had knives pulled on me I got all my tires busted the non-communication like there was other things going on that I didn't know about. Then not really wanting to be around me wasn't sociable with me but was sociable with everybody else. And we all know if you don't have communication you ain't got nothing sending everything else kind of spun off from there that enhances the other red flags

[coolbreeze]

Once people complain to much and guilt trip you, and is never satisfied with good things you have done for them then it's a sign to leave and find somebody else.

[DryGermanGuy]

I've met a few toxic women and luckily sooner or later realized what they are.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

I called him Aggressive Asshole
He called me Sarcastic Bitch

[Wiredone]

Thankfully I've never been in a toxic relationship.

[KittygosMeoWW]

When my ex got so mad he grabbed me and started biting my face and chest/armpit

[pass_the_celery98]

Wth :-s

[KittygosMeoWW]

@pass_the_celery98 lmao

[pass_the_celery98]

If you meant mad at you as in a playful way I can understand, I thought you meant he physically hurt you.

[KittygosMeoWW]

@pass_the_celery98 he physically hurt me, in a fit of drunken/high rage when I found out he was cheating with men he grabbed me choked me and bit me. To the point he almost opened skin with teeth and the bruises on my chest/face were so deep they were red and purple. I had them for about a month and had to wear sweaters to work in 100 degree weather.

[pass_the_celery98]

I sent you a message through a DM because I didn’t want to make this convo super long I just had a question to ask

[Petermorgan343434]

When I realized my opinion on a sudden withdrawal/disappearance was null and void.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

Never ever being a thing that you were going to do.

[RyanCan]

Unnecessary drama and blaming me for weird reasons!!!

[Agape93]

When the beatings began

[exitseven]

When she would get drunk and beat me up.

[msc545]

The presence of a woman did it.

[UnwantedScorpio]

Been there and quickly out