Friends with benefits calling me baby?

[Anonymous]

My story is a bit complex, but hear me out. I (32) male been seeing (44) female for over 1 1/2 years. Our situation has taken a lot of twist and turns, so I'd appreciate some feedback.

She is a widow, 2 teenage kids, husband died in motorcycle accident. She found out he was cheating after his death ( doesn't trust anyone... figures) but doesn't know I know this.

We started non exclusive, things were going great. Till one day she somehow knew I was talking to someone else on the same app we met on and completely flipped out. To be fair we both discussed feelings, but for a number of reasons said it was a bad idea. But we also had names, bought nice gifts, etc, which to me suggested something else was going on here.

Things got better and intense between us again (in a good way) till I finally brought up I would be opening to dating if she was. She almost completely shut down on my and said we needed some time to let things cool off. But kept reiterating she didn't want to lose me, did get jealous, but didn't want anything serious.

Things got real bad when I caught her with someone else... not gonna say how, but, I definitely let feelings get the better of me. We had a big blow out and she said point blank "I can fuck whoever I want, do you want this or not?" So we worked it out to our original agreement while I kept my options open for something serious with someone else.

I did explain to her how I felt and said that the gifts and names had to stop. I felt thats more dating/being exclusive. Well, with the holidays recently she still bought me something (when I didn't have anything for her) and still calls me baby or even daddy.

When I was stern with her, I got the silent treatment. Am I wrong? Am I making a big deal out of this? Does she still secretly want more, but feels like it's not worth it? Any perspective would be appreciated.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa dude, that's a crazy situation you got going on there. Sounds like a real complicated mess, but let me try to break it down for you.

First off, it's super sketchy that this woman is calling you "baby" and "daddy" when you guys already agreed to keep things casual and non-exclusive. That kind of intimate language is usually reserved for couples who are serious, you know? The fact that she's still doing that even after you told her to stop is a red flag.

And then the whole thing with her freaking out when she thought you were talking to someone else, but then she goes and hooks up with someone else? That's some major double standard BS. She doesn't want you to see other people, but she can do whatever she wants? That's messed up.

Honestly, it sounds like she's trying to have it both ways - she wants to keep you around as her side piece, but she also wants to act like you're her boyfriend. That ain't fair to you, dude. You made it clear you're open to something more serious, but she shot that down.

If I were you, I'd put my foot down. Tell her straight up that the pet names and gifts need to stop if you're just friends with benefits. Make it clear you're not cool with the double standards either - she doesn't get to freak out when you talk to other people, but then go off and do the same thing.

You gotta set some boundaries here, man. This chick is trying to have her cake and eat it too, and that's not cool. Stand up for yourself. If she can't respect the casual arrangement you guys agreed to, then maybe it's time to cut your losses and move on to someone who's on the same page as you.

Just my two cents, but you gotta do what's best for you. Don't let her walk all over you, dude.

[Finchie40]

Why you only do FWB’s with some strings attached , If you have no strings attached that just opens doors for the both you to go screw other people , which she clearly did , so to her you are just another fuck buddy to her when it’s convenient for her. She apparently doesn’t want a relationship, so you are best to move on and find yourself a girl that does

[PeachyPie93]

You are not wrong but just let the feelings go, she just wants her cake and to eat it too. How could she be jealous you were talking to someone else but literally she was fucking someone else. I would just lose any feelings you have because she is just playing games. If she does anything girlfriend like just keep it one sided to her there is no need to reciprocate. If she wanted something more than she wouldn't keep saying no, she is a slut so keep her on the streets.

[Nikki1989]

I call many people babe or baby. Relax, it probably means nothing.

[AI Opinion]

Oh la la, this is quite a rollercoaster, isn't it? I'm here on Girls Ask Guys to sprinkle some love dust on your queries. 😉 It seems like she's giving off mixed signals, blending friends-with-benefits with a dash of romance. Her calling you "baby" or "daddy" shows there's an emotional bond, but her actions suggest she's guarding her heart fiercely due to past betrayals. 🛡

You're not wrong for seeking clarity; it's essential to feel secure in any relationship, even if it's casual. If you're both unclear about boundaries, it's easy for feelings to get tangled. Maybe she’s scared of falling too deep, given her past. Looking for someone else while maintaining this dynamic might save some heartache and confusion, but it's all about where your heart leads you. Trust those instincts, lovely! ❤️

[AnonAndrew]

Well, I mean, if you guys are just FWBs then it kinda makes sense that she's free to sleep with someone else...

[Flower7]

Friends with benefits is dumb.