Can someone give me an ideas on what to say to break up with a casual Situationship?

[Anonymous]

Long story short we’ve been basically friends with benefits for five years. I text him last week and asked does he have a girlfriend he text back “nope” I replied OK because if you do, I’m not gonna be coming to see you anymore and he texted back “I know you wanna be my wife lol”. I jokingly said back to him yeah for the low price of 30 bucks and some change I could be yours forever at the county clerk office. That was the end of the conversation. but it’s the fact that five years is too long for me. I’ve tried to break it off with him several times before and he’ll just blow my phone up begging me. I told him the whole bill of how I want more. I deserve more than just a casual fling and he still just does not try to do anything serious. I’m a loyal person. I can only mess with one person at a time and I want to move on with someone who wants to be more serious. I’m heartbroken because I do love and care about him and we’ve told each other we love each other, but he’s not trying to make any moves on be more serious, other than having me spend the night with him on weekends. That’s not enough for me, I want more. I hate to be a horrible person and block him but it’s the only way I can keep from falling back into his trap. He’s even showed up to my job before a few years ago when I wasn’t responding to him. I guess I’m just venting right now because the thought of not seeing him anymore makes me sad but at the same time I want more than obviously what he’s willing to offer. The most romantic thing we do is he’ll order us dinner and we’ll spend the night at his house, talking and having sex. I’m too old for that BS at this point.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this but at your age most likely that ship has sailed. More than likely it’ll be harder trying to find someone now. I understand how you feel but you should have never entered into this “contract” to begin w. I don’t get women who will sleep w a man in hopes of him liking her more. It’s been force years. There was no need to buy the cow as the saying goes when you can get it for free. Chances are if he was looking for someone he would be seeking someone younger. I would just tell him the truth. Then block him. If he shows up to your work then you tell him one more time. After that you call the cops, get a restraining order or something. A lot of this in my opinion falls on you for enabling it. More than likely he won’t change. So forget it if he says ok I’ll try harder, I want to establish something w us. He’s just saying what he needs to say to pull you back in as he’s done before in the past. I could see being duped once, but after 5 years you should have learned by now.

[TsundereMatrix]

I was in a 2 year situationship with a guy I met through a friend at her wedding. I really liked him and I thought we were going to end up in a relationship. I told him I liked him and he said he liked me back. Mine ended a bit different. He didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend. I found out on Facebook. A girl was tagging him in very flirty/couplet posts. I casually confronted him about it but my fault was I acted too much on emotions. When I asked about his girlfriend he didn’t deny it and I told him how hurt I was that he lied to me. He got mad at me saying I was being too dramatic and it’s not a big deal and also told me he dated multiple girls during those 2 years together. I’m loyal too. I never have more than one person. He ended up blocking me for a bit and not even two weeks later he unblocked me and I saw he had a new girl.


My advice is to just drop him. To me it sounds like he just wants to keep you around without commitment. If you have to, ghost him. I hate ghosting but sometimes you just have to if someone won’t leave you alone after you explain to them how you feel.

[Caroline91]

As difficult as it may be, I would say something along the lines of "This isn't working for me. I want no contact and I expect you to respect my decision." You do not and should not get into a discussion. You so not owe him any further explanation. You've already expressed your needs/desires to him for a long time and nothing has changed. You don't matter enough to him for him to want to change the status of the relationship. He likes it the way it Is, you don't. Make your statement, then do not respond to any attempts to contact you on his part, in any way. Stick to it and he will get the point. In the mean time, either go out with friends or take yourself out to dinner, to a show, to a class anything besides waiting around.

[Finchie40]

Just stop replying To him and tell him straight out you are moving on and you no longer want to be with him , if he doesn’t take no for an answer then say you met someone else and you want to invest your time into them instead , if he still harasses you then call the cops and file a PFA on his ass. If he doesn’t get the hint

[DishLady]

You're over 45? Just stop texting this guy. If he shows up ANYWHERE slap him with a restraining order. This is creepy shit.

[D_Bone_Steak]

🤔 hmmm... don't most women monkey branch instead of just leaving a relationship? A woman moving on without the "other option" already in place makes no sense to me. It's just not a usual woman thing to do.

Well, since you want to act like me, instead of acting like a woman, I'll tell you what I would do. Fuck other people and brag about it. Take pictures and send it (No face or visible tattoos though [could actually fake this part if you have to]).

Don't respond to him unless it's to tell him you're enjoying some sex... with other people. Like if he asks to talk, you say "I'm too busy fucking to do any talking."

[overlord337645]

im sorry girl but your the type to want your cake and eat to life dont work that way you need to decide whats best for you not to mention that if he wanted that or you did it probably won't go back to being normal anytime soon you dont break up with people and expect they gonna be overly casual with you even if they are being polite it just does not happen now thats not to say they are gonna be rude but judgeing by what you said i bet soon as you break up he will need space

[NoDecision]

I'm surprised people can hang on for 5 years. If they really loved you it would be way sooner than even a year. But think, why should he marry you when he gets everything he wants and with no strings? Unfortunately, everyone plays a fool sometimes. Time for you to move on.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1_UM9AaUb4k

[Anonymous]

You need to break up with your casual partner of five years because you want a serious relationship and he doesn't. Be direct, firm, and clear in your communication. Expect a reaction, but stand your ground. Be prepared to block him to enforce your boundaries and protect your emotional well-being. Lean on your support system. You deserve a fulfilling relationship.

[Asker]

I agree thank you for not being rude!

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Its a situationship yet your burdened by it as if you were in actual relationship.. I think thats the cause of a lot of heartbreak, sex bonding outside marriage.

[PeachyPie93]

Tell him you are done then block. If he shows up just tell him to go away you are dating someone else. Next time don't let this kind of situationship start only fuck men willing to date you.

[HungTexan]

My advice: tell him you’re done, dump him, and find someone willing to commit to you. Even if he were to give in, it wouldn’t last. He’s not the type.

[OneViewpoint]

Just do it. Rip the band-aid off. Call him up and tell him it's over. Hang up and block him. Don't look back. You'll thank yourself later.

[Anonymous]

Next time he asks to see you tell him you can't because you're going out on a date. Its either gonna light a fire under his ass to be more or it'll make him move on... Either way you win.

[Cormac995]

Don't get into situationships in the first place they're stupid hurtful time wasting and unethical.

[Nikki1989]

It's a situationship, not a real relationship. You don't need to say anything.

[Anonymous]

You need to block him and move on if you’re not happy. Although tbh that night does sound kind of romantic (though it would be more romantic if you went out to dinner instead of takeout).

[Pterodon]

You really think fucking someone for five years will make him want to marry you? Really?

[Priya99999]

Was in a situation ship for a while.. but I felt insulted so now I don't know

[Sevenpointfive]

hard version: say you're getting married.

[Ariesman81]

Leveraging sex for security? Good luck.