Is it rude to not always say “I Love You” back?

Question

I usually ever only say I Love You when I’m overflowing with love that I can no longer express it through my action/affection. I show love more physically rather than verbally so sometimes saying I Love You feels a bit awkward.

On one hand if you say it back without actually meaning it is bad, on the other hand, if you don’t say it back at all it just makes things awkward.

fartingspinster · Accepted Answer

I have the same problem as you lol
The guys have always said I love you first and quite quick in my opinion (mainly because it takes me a while to built up to the I love yous). I dont like over using it because it loses its meaning.

I love giving compliments and showcasing the "whys" to my I love yous rather than just saying the word.

So... I would say in a healthy mature relationship - someone should be okay with understanding that is your style and explaining to them other ways you say I love yous that aren't actually those words. And that its actually okay for them to express it when they feel like they want to - but there shouldn't be any pressure or expectation for it to be said back unless you are at the stage where maybe you comfortable saying it more often?
Anyway, if they say it to you because they wan to hear it, I sort of see that as a need not being addressed properly and baby manipulation. (Baby because its not that serious unless it leads to an argument every time)

Now, relationships and emotions are more complicated than just the logical aspect of things. So EI would tell us that we have to find a middle ground, and if you really care for the person and want them to feel loved - saying i love you may be the only way. But if they really care about you... they should also find a middle ground so you aren't always having to say it when it doesn't feel right to you, because thats not fair to you either.

I find my hugs demonstrate I love yous more than words. So maybe tell him "if I was deaf and couldn't speak... my hugs would be my I love yous". Or just tell him it just doesn't do the same thing for you, and if there's a real aversion to if (as i do due to past experiences) then tell him so maybe he can understand its not about him but its about some past things that have made the words lose their magic for you and so you like to show it in other ways.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

to be honest... I sometimes I find it... strange to just say it back... he knows I do love him... so like repeating it using the same words he used doesn't sit well with me...

so if I don't have any witty answer ready, I would simply show him that the feeling is mutual :D

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

In my personal opinion, saying I love you back should be standard in a relationship, unless you're feeling angry or upset with your partner.

Do you not love your partner most of the time? Does it take a lot for you to say the words I love back?

Words of affirmation is a love language for a reason and you might be seriously undervaluing just how important it is. If a guy says "Bye beautiful. I love you!" on his way to work and you just respond with "Bye have a great day!" I feel like that's neglecting over immaturity. You might make him overthink and have thoughts along the lines of "Did I do something wrong? Is she feeling distant from me? Does she not love me?"

Just say the words back if you love your partner. It doesn't take much to reciprocate. If you love your partner, I don't see how it could be a big issue to say a few words. And if you don't love them, why are you even in the relationship?

You don't need to be overflowing with feelings of love and affection to give your partner a kiss or hug. If anything giving your partner a kiss and hug encourage those feelings.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s only rude to say I love you when you don’t actually mean it , only say it when you actually mean it or feel it , if your partner gets upset and bent out of shape over it , then they are probably not the partner for you , because someone that truly loves and cares about you doesn't hesitate to say it back , because they are happy to have you by their side. Now if you are saying it all the time throughout the course of the day , then that could be annoying as to why you are constantly saying it , when you should already know how they feel about you. So constantly needing reassurance sadly can be a red flag to your partner , because they might assume you were up to no good and now you are feeling guilty for what you did to them , so it sounds like you are trying to cover up something that you did. Me personally only says I love you when I actually mean it and feel it Especially big she does something for me that I didn’t expect her to do , p

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the "I love you" waters can be tricky, can't it? You're not alone in this. Expressing love can be like trying to dance when you feel like two left feet. It's all about being genuine. Saying it when you feel it deeply can make those moments even more special. Actions often speak louder than words, so your partner will likely feel your love in those affectionate gestures. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into ghosting those meaningful exchanges, and all should be smooth sailing with a sprinkle of romance. 😊✨

ShellyB · Answer

It is not automatically rude but it means that the two of you are looking at things differently I think. In other words I think there is an issue or a problem, but it might not be either person in particular, it might not even be either person it might just be a communication problem. JMO!

Summeroflove · Answer

Love should speak for itself I think someone over compensating is a red flag too but also just ignoring or snubbing someone can be bad. It depends. If you have genuine love ir will show

ohsheeT · Answer

No. As long as you say with a little tone in your voice. EAT ME IM A COOKIE lol  Everybody's relationship is different people only you know your partner.

DishLady · Answer

Not really. Whatever you do, be genuine.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

What I consider rude or not seems irrelevant? What seems to matters more is how you and your lover react in a specific situation. I can't let any "I love you" floating without a response because I do love her, constantly, what differs from time to time is just the intensity of the sentiment, but the sentiment itself is always there, living. So I have it easy.

Your case is different, the best course of action seems, for you, to open up, to talk about yourself, about how you think and deal with affection and words, with the one you love. Which will inform them about you, about what's really going on and then dissipate any future misunderstanding or disappointment?

Purpleronnie · Answer

I think it’s commonly accepted to only say “I love you” when you mean it.

From experience it also helps when you’re told “why” you are loved. Not because it’s needed but because you get to understand your relationship from the others perspective.

Cormac995 · Answer

I love you is one of those things that feels really good to hear from your SO in passing. I'm not sure it's rude but when you say it and they don't say it back it does kind of sting.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Whether it's considered “rude” to not always say “I love you” back depends heavily on the context of the relationship.

exitseven · Answer

I guess if you do not really love them you should not say it. However you should not be cruel about it like this: ME: I love you. Her: You're crazy.

7Phoenix7 · Answer

I don't think so. You can say i love you in many ways without actually saying, "I love you too..."

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I don't think there's any hard and fast rule about that kind of thing, but you should definitely be reciprocating with some kind of affection.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I think it's kind of rude to say it first. It leaves no choices for an honest, or an individual reply.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Not necessarily. If you are about to get frozen in carbonite your mind might be a little preoccupied with other things. :-)

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I know what you mean. That is a really good question.

WhitneySnow · Answer

If your boyfriend knows you express yourself physically better than verbally he’ll be fine with you not saying it every time

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

Id just explain that to your partner... I don't think it's rude if you have a valid reason

alice55 · Answer

it's rude yes unless you don't feel it then lying is worse

Lokiion · Answer

If you don't actually mean it, why say it? Is it rude? Maybe, but I would think it's worse saying that, knowing you don't really mean it.

Staximus · Answer

It doesn't feel awkward if you really mean it

Professor-college · Answer

I think would be very strange because if you actually love this person it wouldn't be a hassle it would be your pleasure to say it

GAGsucksballs89170 · Answer

What is love anyway?

NicholasRedone · Answer

Yes 100 percent yes 😺 👍🏻

jshm2 · Answer

No. it's just words.

Jessie1103 · Answer

No it be rude if said and not true.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

if u dont love them, why say it back?

darlingRose · Answer

Not at all

Is it rude to not always say “I Love You” back?

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