Does it matter if your so doesn’t say I love you as often as you want to hear it?

[Pinay_ako]

[krisnic28]

It matters to me. When i was dating my now ex, he used to say it all the time. Then after a while, i noticed it became less and less. Until he stopped saying it altogether. Even when i say it. It became an issue as i felt something was wrong. Which now im sure is correct. He has confessed that he started putting his walls up at the time because the love he felt for me wasn't as strong.

[krisnic28]

I asked him one time, after breaking up, if there is still a chance for him to love me again. He said, "that i can't answer honestly." I dont understand what it means. Its neither a yes or a no.

[Coyote_deer]

Only if his actions speak louder than his words.

[Joker8]

It doesn't matter how much they say it as long as they show it

[Rundown]

The more you say it, the less it means anything

[SteveSmith1985]

I would think that would matter. If it's less often then you want to hear it, then it's not enough for you. If you are noticing that you aren't hearing I love you enough that's a problem. You shouldn't be "noticing " such things. it means somethings missing.

[AmandaYVR]

Good question!
I would think it should be measured on general societal averages, not YOUR particular preferences. They could be whack?

[SuperManiac]

I almost never say it. It is not a custom here, and I would not mind if my wife never said it. I prefer to evaluate someone's love or lack thereof more based on actions than words. I had an ex who said this all the time, including "I will love you forever no matter what, even if you become a cripple," and she broke up with me. And while I don't think she was deceiving me at the time, she at least changed her mind. So I put little stock in words, and repetition of such sentiments starts to feel like a routine rather than a genuine expression of how someone is feeling in the moment.

[francis51s]

Only if the reason they dont say it as often is because they dont feel it as often.
If they dont say it out of embarrassment or something like that. Then they just need to deal with some issues. But if they dont always love you as much as you love them. That's something to worry about

[clueless-af-girl]

It doesn’t matter to me if my SO says I love you as often as I would like to hear it. If he expresses and shows me his love through his actions, I know I will still feel his love even if he doesn’t actually say it. Actions speak louder than words. 💚

[shirin_mhm]

I’d like to hear that often at the beginning of the relationship, when you’re building your emotions but for long term relationship i think is not that necessary to say it too often.

[Alizzi]

Honestly it really depends on the two of you. The act in itself of speaking the words isn't much of a action or feeling, lots of people say it as a reflex, and depends on their understanding of what love can be. It also helps to know if they're an outspoken person or what little they say has a bigger impact. But if course not hearing it often enough can be sad and frustrating, as well as exciting once heard. Everyone has their own unique relationship profile.

[MindYourEyes]

Yes. I need to hear it, see it, and feel it.
Just like I’d do for them.

[luvstoned4him]

As long as you do hear it , thats great. Better to hear it sometimes than never.

[anuragk033]

If they don't say.. then you say it simple.. if they don't reply then it's a problem

[depeche2015]

it does bother me cause i like being reassured so i feel a little insecure after awhile.

[motownplayer2000]

No. I don't need to hear it. I just need to see it! That's how I know someone loves me.. show me how and why you love me. Don't tell me. Words and talk or just that, words and talk

[needhelp777]

Actions means so much more then words
But it does bother me

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It doesn't make no difference to me if a SO doesn't say she loves me as much as i tell her.

[ChiTown33]

It doesn't matter if she says it at all so long as i know it.

[CoffeeWC]

If we have been together for a long time, I wouldn't expect her to say it so often, and it wouldn't bother me.

[bdg5077]

Yes it does. It is good to hear those words especially if you are saying it more. My ex wouldn’t say it nearly as much and it made me sad, self conscious in myself and very down.

[pizzalovershouse]

if its a problem comunacate about it then you feel they really care

[AdrenaLynx]

It does a little but everybody has his love language. You have yours he has his

[ObscuredBeyond]

If I still had one, I'd settle for her saying much of anything. Fee things are as stressful as loving a ghost.