Are there different degrees of cheating?

Question

Sometimes, when confronted with unfaithfulness, cheaters will defends themselves by saying - It only happened once, or - I was drunk and didn't mean to do it, or - I didn't plan it. It just happened and I immediately regretted it. Some people will accept these excuses enough to not immediately end the relationship. It seems that they categorize these scenarios as "not as bad as long term, repeated cheating." Logically, I understand the argument, but. . . to me, any cheating is a reason to immediately end the relationship. Asking about degrees of cheating, or different levels of culpability is like asking, "What's worse? Dying by drowning in the middle of the ocean or dying in a fire?" For me, the response is simple: - It only happened once. . . BUT YOU PROMISED IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN, NOT EVEN ONCE! - I was drunk and didn't mean to do it. . . BUT I'VE GOTTEN DRUNK BEFORE AND NEVER CHEATED ON YOU. - I didn't plan it. It just happened and I immediately regretted it. . . . NO, IT DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN. YOU MADE DECISIONS AND TOOK ACTIONS THAT MADE IT HAPPEN, AND REGRETTING IT AFTERWARDS DOES NOTHING TO UNDO THE HARM YOU HAVE CAUSED.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Sure there is different degrees of cheating but at the end of the day it’s still betrayal and never okay to do to someone.

Number one being drunk doesn’t change who someone is it tends to just bring out who someone really is. It inhibits peoples reasoning skills as well as they are more likely to recklessly act on impulses they already had.

But some instances are definitely more spontaneous acts of temptation while others are much more methodical and planned out. Some people for instance feel absolutely horrible for cheating on somebody as where others are indifferent and others are getting off on the taboo as well as the betrayal of it.

Some people just see no wrong in what they’re doing, some feel bad knowing it’s wrong but keep doing it, and others are getting off because it’s wrong. At the end of the day you may never be able to fully read someone’s mind and know why they did it. Many times they may not even know themselves…. But it shouldn’t be tolerated.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

yes, there is...

there's wrong, worse and FTW were you thinking

but they're all wrong at the end of the day, I would forgive each either way, however... that relationships still ends, and least for me, there's no way to go back to it

Vesuvius87 · Answer

While there might be different circumstances and reasons an infidelity takes place (drunk cheating vs an ongoing affair), it still doesn't change the fact that cheating took place. They still betrayed your trust and therefore aren't a suitable candiate for a lifetime partner. You still need to leave the cheater and they can start all over with someone else.

ohsheeT · Answer

You mean like Karate you have a black belt degree To show what level you are at .. lol That would.
Be kind of interesting, but no cheater is a cheater. It is a matter of fact that I'm first grade second grade or third gradoesn't matter what color belt you have doesn't matter how many stars you have on your shoulders. Or even the slogan that you wear on your t shirt
. chearter is a cheater

Finchie40 · Answer

Cheating is a selfish act period

Crimsyjo · Answer

Once would end it for me. But I know that I give a lot in relationships and there shouldn't be any excuse for a guy to cheat on me. I'm also a big believer in communication so he can't say if there was a problem he couldn't raise with me first.

As for your question about degrees of cheating? Your examples are all physical. What about emotional cheating? I think a lot of people (myself included) have found and enjoyed an emotional connection online. Men in particular seem to enjoy looking at or communicating with females online. Now that is a "degree" of cheating that is harder to define as a relationship ending deal breaker?

Screenwriter · Answer

It's not degrees of cheating. It's there are degrees of DAMAGE to a relationship.

By the time someone is cheating, my question would be, what ELSE has happened in the relationship?

Often emotionally lazy people cheat as a means to end a relationship they're tired of, or can't see the value in, or don't have the tools or desire to work on.

A healhier person might pause and say, something's wrong, what can I do, what can we do? Is it worth it? Have we been through this before (relationship problems, not cheating.). Also, it matters how long a couple have been together, too and why they've stayed together.

Cheating might be the final nail in a coffin of relationship difficulties that have lasted years. Or it might be the first and only evidence that something is wrong with the partner, the relationship or both.

All of these factors have to be weighed.

xcheerleader_jessx · Answer

Yes, there are different levels but at the end of the day "different" is an adverb and it shouldn't take away from the focus of the action: cheating. There are also other "levels" that have been accepted as cheating:

1. Talking to women, or men, online when you're in a relationship or married. Why would a married man or woman talk to someone from the opposite sex, unless it's work related, rendering service (no i'm not talking about sexual services), business partners or unless the couple has mutual friends through work, school, church, clubs, etc. The way some people go about it makes others wonder if they are hiding something.

2. Sexting/Sending pictures via apps/text

3. When you are developing feelings for someone else, even if there has been nothing indicating from the other party that they are interested in you.

CheeseMonster · Answer

The only way I'd  consider  staying is if they didn't try to deflect or excuse themself, and instead just admitted it right away (or at least within 24 hours) and took responsibility. No "I didn't mean to" or "I was drunk," just say what you did. If you really have no idea why you did it, then you'll have to be willing to figure it out either yourself or with a therapist's help. I'm not touching that while it's raw. If you're willing to do that, to take the lead on digging down to the level that's broken so you/we can start working on fixing it, then maybe I'll stay and help once there's a new foundation to start building on together.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I’d say yes, there are different degrees, but the core issue is always the erosion of trust. Emotional cheating, where intimacy and affection are shared, can hurt deeply without ever becoming physical. Physical cheating, of course, is an obvious violation of loyalty and trust. Micro-cheating—small behaviors that might not seem significant alone—can gradually undermine a relationship. But regardless of the degree, the underlying harm to trust and respect is universal, even if the immediate consequences might vary.

In the end, all forms of cheating signal a breach in the emotional safety that relationships rely upon.

- Eva ❤️

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yeah, I mean I'm on the contrary.. If it happened once and they truly seem repentant, I would keep the relationship going.. None of us are perfect and most of us have done things that could be considered "scummy" of some sorts or just hurt people even if it were subtle.. So if they seemed sorry about the act and really wanted to get their act together, why not.. It's definitely not a popular view, but yeah..

Kelley1 · Answer

Women, who let their husbands believe another man's child is his biological child, are the greatest cheaters and ten times worse than if a man cheats. As such, a husband cheating pales into insignificance compared to a wife cheating.

Agape93 · Answer

No just different forms. But it's always intentional, always a choice and always wrong.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

nope... breaking trust doesn't have levels...

Curiousandhavetoask · Answer

There are so many degrees of cheating. It’s about what’s in the heart. A guy can like a girls photo and it’s not cheating but if he’s been distant with the person he’s with, not complimenting her, and then goes and likes Other womens photos. That’s cheating. Or a man can have friends who are girls nothing wrong with that but if he’s always bad talking his woman to them so they give him attention that’s cheating.

Cormac995 · Answer

If you cheat on me and I find out I don't care if you're going through cancer treatment. I'm dropping you on the spot and you can die alone with your selfishness.

molonski2 · Answer

More often than not a sexless marriage on either side , which of course allows complete freedom to do as one wishes.. If nothing sexual is happening you are obviously going elsewhere.

sage2021 · Answer

https//youtu. be/_Rk1FXl3wRU? si=50thUbV0Uloj0R3V Here's a song called "The Cheater" Any cheating is cheating even emotional cheating is cheating. Period.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Here's my attitude. Life is short and we get bored with each other eventually. If you need or want to step outside our relationship once in a while, go for it. Feel the thrill of a new sexual partner for a while without guilt. But don't bring home any diseases. And be respectful. I don't need to know. But I'd actually be happy if you had a great experience. Hell, I'd be grateful. It would mean I can do the same.

lilBigPotato · Answer

There's only one differentiation I would make, and that's feelings involved or not. Doesn't mean I'll forgive, but feelings involved will hurt much more than horny and lack of self control

abbyjgriffin98 · Answer

I don't believe so. At the end of the day, cheating is still cheating and those who cheat are more likely to do so again.

douride2 · Answer

There is only 1 degree of cheating in my opinion. Cheat once for what ever reason you can come up with & your history gone out of my life forever. There is no forgiveness.

Sunrising · Answer

If someone can find time to cheat, good luck to them !

Anonymous · Answer

yeah there are different degrees of cheating

like hanging out with friends of the opposite sex religiously, gaslighting your partner, dump/divorce your partner and immediately get in a relationship with one of your friends of the opposite sex

but that's not "cheating" technically lol

HungTexan · Answer

It’s nice to be open, but cheating and lying aren’t healthy for a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Cheating that hasn't happened yet but will. Cheating that has happened.

Chargirllll · Answer

Yes kissing is not the same as full blown relationship

LiamJHayden · Answer

Cheating is one and done, no excuses accepted.

Jeff51 · Answer

I guess once you cross that line then your cheating.

Wayneg89 · Answer

There are definitely different levels of cheating but at the end of the day it's all cheating.

itsannalee · Answer

Nope. Cheat is cheat

Phoenix98 · Answer

Cheating is cheating.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

There's never an excuse

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Nah lol there aren’t and I’ve been drunk before too so I know what it feels like lol.

Anonymous · Answer

Welcome to the Jerry Springer show

jahaims · Answer

Nah, all cheating betrayal.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Nope cheating is cheating.

GAGsucksballs89170 · Answer

Cheating is cheating

armentina98 · Answer

Cheating is cheating there's no excuse.

Jack1888 · Answer

No u are compicit in every way

DrPepper12 · Answer

There's different degrees.

Are there different degrees of cheating?

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