If your girlfriend outearns you, should you do something to earn more and compete or create value somehow else?

[Anonymous]

[Finchie40]

Money isn’t everything , all that matters is you both work as a team and choosing each other , just because she makes more money then you , doesn’t make her superior to you , just treat her the same way you want her to treat you , Money does not buy love , money comes and goes all the time , so does jobs , so if you are basing relationships off of money? , your relationship will more than likely not last the long haul , I had girlfriends’ that made more

Money then me , and I never asked her for a dime because I was perfectly capable of providing for myself , so I chose her the same way I wanted her To choose me , I wasn’t after her money in the least and she wasn’t after mine as well, we were after each others’ hearts , so don’t knock yourself down that she makes more than you , You still work and have a job and provide for Yourself just don’t hold your hand out to your girlfriend and act like it’s her job to take care of you whatsoever, just give your love to her the same way you want her to love you
And I you more than likely will experience true love with her , if money was a serious issue to her? she wouldn’t be dating your ass period lol

[D_Bone_Steak]

I don't work a job at all for at least 15 years now. It's just understood that she makes money and I do domestic shit better than her. When I did get a job it just made everything complicated... baby sitters... bitches at work want to fuck me biggly, and nobody was cleaning the house. For what? A few thousand dollars more that went right out the window to babysitting and gas?

Don't tell my wife, but I can clean the house in like an hour. Play video games and shitpost on G@G for 7 more hours... maybe even jerk off a couple times, then she comes home and is amazed at all I've done. Gives me $900 a month for my great sacrifice. I mean I workout too, but I could do that and just workout when she gets home. She's happy with me looking like a fitness model, the clean ass house, and kids being fed. I'm happy not working and getting to do whatever the fuck I want instead of standing around at some job basically doing some menial tasks for dollars that are not even worth my time.

Wife's military by the way (I'm ex military), rent isn't a concern. She's the only person I've seen go 30 years instead of 20 until retirement. Can you imagine all the poon I get when she deploys? Hella poon. So these Boomers that think I'm fucked up for not being the breadwinner can go fuck a donkey. I made my own rules and my life is much better than it would've been stressing out over trying to make more money than her.

That's just me though... I do my own thing. Wished I learned to do that shit earlier. I wasted years in college and other stupid shit when I could've been doing better shit. If I was single right now with no kids, I'd do that van life shit. Hell yeah. Imagine how much poon I'd be banging in the van!

[IslaTheWitch]

if you share home and responsibilities equally... it doesn't matter who earns more... money us just a tool...

but it's always a healthy habit to seek for self improvements... so if you can make your career better - go for it

[Rosexøxø]

Have a goal to help the relationship and each other. You can easily punch her dude. Let her have her paper lol. It’s not a big deal.

[AI Opinion]

Hey there! As a relationship coach, my aim is to help people navigate love and personal growth. Now, if your girlfriend outearns you, it’s not a competition unless you both make it one. Instead of stressing over salaries, focus on what you bring to the relationship beyond money. Emotional support, shared experiences, and mutual growth are priceless. And who knows, your unique contributions might just be the secret sauce to an amazing partnership! Love isn’t about numbers, after all. 💕

[Summeroflove]

A real relationship shouldn’t be all about finances and if that’s all someone’s with you for then at the end of the day you’re going to be discard and cheated on anyways. That’s just the hard reality many men with money need to accept is that some women aren’t even attracted to them at all. So men should be careful about flaunting their money and not being stupid.

If she’s choosing to stay with you despite having other options that could be a sign that she’s loyal as well as genuinely likes you for who you are. Because your personalities mesh well and that she just genuinely sees you. If she leaves you then at least she’s not wasting your time.

[AviatorTom]

I would take very good care of her. 😉

[blueonblack22]

So let’s say you make $85K a year and she makes $140K. Sure you she makes more and you both can enjoy some luxuries together. But you could easily make it on your own if you had to. Seriously who cares.

But let’s say you only made $30K and can barely make rent while she makes a lot more. You are literally financially dependent on her. In this scenario that’s a major problem. And yes that should absolutely motivate you to find methods to make more. At least to the point you are comfortably self sufficient.

But one extremely unfair 110% bullshit double standard in western society is that many women are making a lot more money nowadays (which is in theory a good thing). Yet at the same time an unacceptably high percentage of them still expect the man they date (and definitely the one they marry) to make more. Not all women are like this of course. But too many.

But from an evolutionary perspective many women are still subconsciously hard wired to find a man who is a protector and a provider. And the latter still weighs in more then most women want to admit.

With that said men sometimes put undue pressure on themselves if they are earning less (which is also evolutionary). Years ago I dated a younger woman who made more then me.

I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. I had good reasons why at the time (I was pursuing a dream in a pro sport). She really didn’t care at all. But I really struggled with it.

It also had a lot to with my bullsh*t upbringing. I was taught since I was a little kid the worst thing in the world a man could be was a some sort of underachiever/deadbeat.

[MzAsh]

I think a big part of the reason why many women still expect men to earn more than them is because they expect they’ll be quitting work or reducing hours when they start having kids. Women are still primary child caregivers, but l can see this changing as more fathers step up as caregivers are not just a paycheck provider.

[blueonblack22]

@MzAsh that’s a valid point and it also ties into evolution to a certain extent.

But is doing role reversals always a good thing? Maybe sometimes. But let’s be honest women tend to be better at some things and men at others. Always exceptions both ways.

But I don’t like the idea the it is to be “celebrated” and encouraged that there is a role reversal. Doesn’t mean I am not okay with it being accepted. But accepting something is not same thing as celebrating.

[MisterWack]

It isn’t a competition.

Women back in the day didn’t “compete” with their husbands for money, they were happy for the success of their husband and that was enough. If my woman made more money, I’d say “good for you” since she worked hard, put in the effort, and made a living for herself while I work too. That is great, more money to go around for all.

[Effably]

Just ask her? But I'll quote my first real girlfriend, who was obviously wise beyond her years. "Girls want to be able to brag about their boyfriend. So it is important that you are amazing at something, but it doesn't matter what that is.". Queue examples of sports, tetris, so on.

I have found that to hold true in my life. Instead of competing with money, just aspire to keep improving so that if anyone asks her about you, she can proudly brag instead of make excuses.

[CrazyKittyCatLady]

No you don't need to compete, You are partners and this ain't a race. If you want to earn more then do it because you are passionate about it, not to compete. You can bring value into a relationship beyond money.

[jazzyk777]

umm neither money shouldn't be all about competioion in a relationship at all yes it good to have money with u but don't make your relationship all about money. she shouldn't care how much you make as long as you do your part in your relationship. relationship is not all about money

[Nikki1989]

Instead of focusing on “competing” financially, shift the focus to how you contribute to the relationship's overall well-being. Money is not everything.

[NicholasRedone]

Fascinating question ❓ hmmm 🤔 😮 - I'd prefer picking a partner who's not much better than me, lol scandalous me lol 🤫 🤭 😆

[Anonymous]

You need to follow your own path. Trying to compete sound horrible and superficial.
You should be trying to follow your own path to success. So if not money, how else are you prepared to contribute?

[LiamJHayden]

If either of you is worried about this, break up.

[RedInnocent69]

It’s not a contest like that. You’re supposed to be partners. Find ways to support, not compete with each other

[blackeagle007]

I think it’s dumb to compete against your companion