Is it wrong to sleep with him?

[Anonymous]

Okay so please no hate. But I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago because apparently he just stopped “loving me”(there was another girl) anyway about 3 ish days ago I went over to this guys house and it was like our 3rd time hanging out and he took my virginity and now wants a realionship? But don’t get me wrong I like him but is it too soon to date? I don't know I messed up ik that but what do I do now? And I’m just confused on why I did that because it’s against my religion I’m just so lost rn.

[SteveSmith1985]

No. Nope. not at all. It was not wrong for you to have slept with him. I promise, I would be the first to say so if I thought it was. But I do not. Because it was not wrong.

It's only wrong, if it breaks faith with someone you've promised to be faithful to; or if doing so otherwise harms or deceives someone.

Don't let him pressure you into a relationship. Don't let that happen

You just need to talk to this guy honestly about how you're feeling.

(sorry, I don't know if you're 18 or 24 so keep that in mind)

So, if you really like him, but want to take it slower and go on dates you need to tell him that's what you want.

If you want some time to figure things out yourself, but might possibly be interested in starting a relationship (or dating, or whatever)... than you tell him that.

If you don't want a relationship at all say so.

If you'd like to just be friends, even though you slept together just say so.

You are in control here. Ok. You are in control of what this turns into (or if it turns into anything at all).

He can want to have a relationship with you. That means you know you have that OPTION. You know that this is what he would prefer.

What you do, is whatever YOU prefer. Without considering what he might want.

What do you want to do?

Whatever the answer to that question happens to be. You need to tell him. He gets a chance to let you know what he thinks of whatever you decide.

So, yes he can choose not to wait for you, if you decide you want some time before even deciding anything. He can choose to do that.

But it is up to you.

DO NOT allow yourself to be roped into a relationship you are unsure you want to be in. Ever. Don't.

So you are going to need to speak up. You are going to have to tell this guy, that you do not want the relationship he does, at least not right now. And just tell him the truth. It is up to you what this turns into.

I feel badly for you, because you're having this moral struggle because it was against your religion. I'm not religious myself, and I don't think you did anything even slightly wrong.

It makes me sad that you're going though what I imagine you must be. To me, it's clear as day... it's a very common, very usual story. Its one that (I don't think) you have no reason to feel bad. I know you see it differently. It's unfortunate.

DO NOT let the fact that you slept with this guy affect what you choose to do. There is no obligation to be in a relationship with him because you slept with him (I'm hoping you don't feel any obligation to anyway, and this sounds like a crazy thing for me to say)

Don't worry. You got this. You're the one who gets to choose here. You are the one in control. Take some time to think about what you want to do. Then inform him what you've decided. No pressure. You are the one in control.

🙂

[Asker]

This helped a lot thank you

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm so glad to hear that! It's all true. You did nothing wrong. You're the one in control of what happens from here. Good luck! 🙂

[Effably]

So. A second is actually the time it takes for a caesium standard, how long it takes for one absoprtion transition between two hyperfine ground states of caesium 133 atoms.

What is the point of that? Time as an event in itself is a lie. When we say "Time heals all wounds" what we really mean is "events happening heals all wounds".

I can not tell you if it is too soon for this to be meaningful to you. Or if you should have other events first. But the whole point of a rebound is to get lots of intense events, time, happening quickly. That way our brains heal faster.

Is it good for you? Probably. Are you ready for it? Who knows.

[PeachyPie93]

LOL is it too soon to date? but not too soon to have sex?
It is fine to date rn and see how it goes..

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Just fuck him. Worst case it’s a rebound and you’ll get out quick

[Summeroflove]

If you know it’s wrong it probably is

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you're feeling confused and lost right now. Breaking up with your boyfriend and then becoming intimate with someone new so quickly can create a whirlwind of emotions. There's no right or wrong answer about whether it's "too soon" to date this new person; it depends entirely on your own feelings and readiness. However, it's crucial to take some time to process your recent breakup and understand your own needs and desires before committing to another relationship. Reflect on why you engaged in the sexual encounter, especially considering your religious beliefs, and give yourself space to heal and understand your feelings. Open and honest communication with the new person about your feelings and hesitations is important. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship rests solely with you.

[slatyb]

No, it's not too soon. It's never too soon. If you like him, date him. Good luck.

[jahaims]

You made a poor choices now their are consequences to your actions