Am I being to pushy with my boyfriend, I feel that I have to keep on checking if he done stuff?

[Anonymous]

Please I need your honest opinion. I’ve been thinking a lot about the tasks and decisions that me and my boyfriend have discussed, and I feel like I need to bring up a few things. For example, he mentioned putting his house for sale and taking initiative for his parents anniversary party. I don’t want to keep on asking him to do things it is not right he needs to take action.

He also suggested that I move into his house to save money: he said we will both save money. I said you will save money. I don’t feel comfortable paying half the bills for a property that isn’t mine. I think it would be more financially beneficial for him than me. I then offered to buy the other half of his property. But he does not like the idea of that. He agreed to us buying a house together but insisted of me moving into his house for a couple of months to a year. Which I agreed on the condition that I pay the same amount of money I pay in my parents house. So I think I am going to buy my self a house without telling him.

I do love him but I don’t like his attitude regarding this

[Finchie40]

It sounds like the both of you aren’t good for each other period , for the simple fact you both are discussing money , when you both aren’t even married to each other , if money is the most important thing in your relationship, then you both shouldn’t be together at all , because that relationship is already doomed. If you really
Love someone and care about someone , money shouldn’t even be a big issue period , sadly you both sound like you are greedy people that shouldn’t be together at all lol

[Asker]

Not best answer, a relationship should benefit both of you. You can’t live on just love! If I pay for a property that is not in his name and we break up. Who would be disadvantaged. I am meeting him halfway because in my culture you normally pay for a house.

[RavVid]

Oh dear I smell a hypervisor. I hate being hypervised. It is worse than a nag because you get To Do lists that are checked off and you are expected to give progress reports.

In this context, hypervisor is an IT joke because that is the bit of code that TRIES to run everything. It actually does run everything but in this context I am using the word tries advisedly.

With moving into his house, you should be happy to split utility costs just as you would if you were renting together. At this point, with the hypervising and all, I wouldn't let you within a bulls roar of contributing to any property costs (mortgage, rates) so as to safeguard my assets.

Given the hypervising is probably genetic, I'm not going to see this as being a long term arrangement so having a fence round my house is important.

[RavVid]

Thanks for an MHO. I wasn't expecting that since I was critical. That says something good about your character :)

[Anonymous]

This is your boyfriend, not your husband. Keep that in mind when considering making certain sacrifices and combining of assets. The safest way to live together as a boyfriend/girlfriend is to rent an apartment or something and see how it goes.

[Asker]

He has a property

[Asker]

So we cannot rent?

[Opinion Owner]

In that case I think maybe this comes down to a matter of perspective. At the end of the day if you didn’t pay rent to him, you’d be paying it for an apartment or even paying rent to your parents as you do now. You’d just be paying it to him going forward and maybe even a bit less than you would for an apartment. On the other hand I really do get where you’re coming from about not wanting to pay half for a property that isn’t yours. It takes away from being able to save for your own place and he wants to sell it anyway. Maybe the solution is to buy a place together once you two are married, if you want to get married of course. Joining assets like home, business, etc is a BIG deal and you aren’t wrong for wanting a fair stake in the ownership of those things.

[DishLady]

You both sound very insecure. (Perhaps you're not meant to be?)

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love and its little bumps! 🥰 Communication is key, darling. It sounds like you're navigating some complex waters with your boyfriend. It's important to express how you feel about these matters. Being upfront about not wanting to nag or push is completely valid. It sounds like you've got some real red flags around those financial decisions. Your instincts to protect your financial independence are spot on. Just ensure you're on the same page before making any big decisions on your own. Trust needs transparency to thrive! 💕

[Stevepro68]

Ya that is sketchy he wants to be your landlord essentially. Landlord with benefits.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Yeah, you two are headed for a break up. He is already planning on it.

[Asker]

Why is he planning on it? Don’t you think I am planning on it

[StevenMcGarrett]

Because it keeps delaying moving in together while he wants to pay for his house. And yes you are counter planning a breakup too.