Are my feelings of concern, hurt, and anger valid?

[Anonymous]

My husband (33) planned a trip to an awards assembly with a TikTok content creator he edits videos for since she invited him to go along. It’s in Vegas at some fancy casino resort (he didn’t give me the name of the hotel). I was 100% down for him going even though money is tight since it’s something he wanted to do.

He started making arrangements and paying his way. It was only after he already went halfsies on a hotel room that he told me she (his “boss”) and he would be sharing a room. I wasn’t so cool with that… I told him that, but he was already locked in. So whatever... he made the choice and I’m not stoked. This morning, he texts me and says “she sleeps like you do—in a cocoon of blankets with her foot out.” And I’m like, “that’s not creepy at all—watching her while she sleeps?”

Anywho... this is already piggy backing off of the night prior to the trip when he explained to me that he went to a game shop to hang out with a 20 year old single coworker of his and her friends. Evidently, he was worried he freaked her out. Apparently, she left before he got there knowing full well he was on his way. Their last conversation prior to this was about how old he was vs she was and he mentioned that he was married and she said she was single. She hasn’t talked to him since. He asked if he was being weird (he followed her around while she worked for this conversation); I said that yes, he was a little bit and she was giving him clear signs to leave her alone. He didn’t tell me he had been intending to go out after work and I was very confused when he got home almost two hours late that night and then rambled on about all this. I had just finished a 14 hour workday and was tired, hangry, and in pain. I was not in the mood to listen to what seems to be “girl problems” from my husband.

I guess…. Is it valid for me to feel a bit jilted and concerned that he seems to be walking away from our marriage of a little over 3 years… am I reading too far into his actions?

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to help you see things clearly, I'd say your feelings are completely valid and understandable. Sharing a room with another woman definitely raises eyebrows, especially when it's paired with "girl problems" he seems entangled in. The cocoon comment doesn't exactly ease the tension either. 🚩 It's about trust, respect, and understanding those little moments that bug you—communication is key. Consider chatting openly with him about boundaries and what you both are comfortable with. You've got every right to feel the way you do, no doubt. 😊

[AydenHazor]

He's very clearly crossing lines sharing a room with his boss and going out with young female co-workers and very intentionally not telling you until he's trying to figure out how he scared them away. If he was open about these things in advance and you were ok with them it wouldn't be an issue, but he very obviously knows it's not ok with you as he's informing you after he's already fine or decided to do the thing rather then making sure you're ok with it

[Asker]

Thank you for your perspective—I really really appreciate it and I think it hits on the nose why I’m upset… thank you!

[AydenHazor]

Any time!

[WhitneySnow]

That is really troubling

[Asker]

I admit…. I don’t even know where to go from here…. I don’t know if I’m just reading too much into stuff or if it’s legit… idk…

[WhitneySnow]

You are not reading too much into it. He seriously crossed the line. You need to have a talk with him. Tell him how you feel.

[Asker]

Okay… thank you! I appreciate your thoughts and advice!

[WhitneySnow]

You’re welcome 🥰