Do you see househusbands as less masculine?

Question

Let’s be clear, when we say househusband, we mean a man who takes care of the household—cooking, cleaning, grocery runs, handling appointments, taking care of the kids, keeping the home running day to day. He’s not “between jobs,” he’s not lounging in his boxers glued to his PS5 12 hours a day… he’s fully managing the domestic load while his partner works outside the home.

So why is this setup still viewed as a downgrade for men?

nastyb · Accepted Answer

this is what I have learned from my experience. Men and women are not designed to think the same way.

Men have evolutionized to be providers. Unless there is a necessary reason or medical reason why he should no longer work, no man (who cares for his woman) will ever be truly happy being a house husband.

The only time where a man will willingly choose to be a house-husband is when he is with a woman that he is looking to take advantage of. This is a woman he does not really care about.

If a man loves you and wants to care for you, he will want to work to provide for you or try to share the bills TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER.

American society seems to think that there are no differences between men and women. They think that men are women. Women are men. You are sooo mistaken.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I've never heard this term before. Did you just swap out "wife" for "husband"? The title is antiquated and sounds too much like "housemaid" or "servant"... or "slave." Very odd.

A homemaker can be male or female, doesn't matter, but if there are kids involved it's important to show balanced chores, management and respect. Anything else is secondary.

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Yeah, I gotta admit that while intellectually I get it. It's valid and valuable work, especially if there are kids. And it shouldn't matter if it makes economic sense / she can earn more than he can. It goes against my societal conditioning. Somewhere in the back of my mind I'm penalizing the guy for making the intelligent choice and having the balls to shrug off what society thinks of a househusband.

And I think a lot of women are going to be politically correct and support the idea of a househusband. But I also think a lot of those women are lying to others and themselves. They see a househusband as a less masculine man and less desirable.

contentious · Accepted Answer

Men handle most of the domestic load regardless if they have a job outside of the house or not. All the fixing and physical manual labor to maintain a home/property is always the responsibility of the man. Women never know how to do any of that stuff or they lack the physical ability to do it efficiently. If men and women truly swapped positions just because a woman had a salaried position, then all men would have to do is sit around and play video games all day until they complained to their wife that they had to do a bunch of hard work when they get home from their job.

Finchie40 · Answer

Probably because men are labeled as being the protector and provider of an household and family in most cases , a man is supposed to be raised to lead his family and be the masculine dominant one that his wife and kids look up to , that they respect. So when a guy is a stay at home house husband , he is automatically labeled as being a less masculine dominant man, by accepting the fact that his wife or girlfriend is the breadwinner and supporting him and taking care of him. I am not saying this type of relationship cannot work , but it’s less likely it will, unless they both agree upon this 100 percent. If not that relationship probably won’t survive. A majority of females’ want to be with a man she can look up to, that she can feel safe and secure with , knowing she has a man that she can look up to and depend on I witnessed a few of these relationships and eventually they all ended , because the girl didn’t feel safe and secure in her relationship, she felt all the weight and stress was put on her , and she eventually ended up feeling like she didn’t have an equal partner , she felt like she was raising another child to be honest , so she ended up falling for a guy that she felt was more masculine and dominant then her partner was , unfortunately this type of shit happens in a lot in relationships because most people want what they don’t have. Me personally will only date a girl that wants to be my team partner , that wants to work with me and not against me . If a girl expects me to support her financially , when she barely lifts a finger at all? Out the door she goes. I don’t mind being the breadwinner in a relationship , but I do mind if she is sitting around and not keeping up her end of the bargain and just pissing away money like it grows on trees. I don’t mind if she wants to be a stay at home partner , as long as she isn’t just sitting around doing nothing and eating bon bons all day lol , But if I come home and the house is clean and dinner is ready , I wouldn’t bitch or complain about anything. I will even tackle things in the house that she couldn’t do or get to before I plop my ass down to show my love and appreciation to her.

Summeroflove · Answer

No I think people who see people as less masculine or less feminine are people trying to fill a void in themselves a lot of times it’s projection. This relationship is certainly not for everyone don’t get me wrong not all men or women want this. But looking down on a couple whose genuinely happy is a major sign that someone’s unhappy in their own personal lives and relationships

Avicenna · Answer

Well, it’s up for the couple to decide this themselves, but it wouldn’t be for me. But I already do lots around the house, including cooking, cleaning, taking care of the outside, getting food, etc.

princeofromance · Answer

No, they are simply doing their fair share to help their partner with the household chores.

Bhilton · Answer

I have been househusband for more than 12 years. I have agoraphobia so I dont leave the house much , but when I do. I do it for the household. I am very masculine still. I live in america as well. Is being a house husband degrading? No i do not feel degraded. Actually I think its too boring to be a at-home-spouse. Beside doing all the household chores and maintenance, I also do car maintenance and handle are financial well being as a family. I even invest and follow stocks and investments. I'm not perfect but all I let her do is go to work. She comes home to a clean house 5 kids doing homework and a warm home cooked meals. This has been my norm for many years. I think men shouldn't be in this role , because there isn't a challenge to it and it get mundane really fast. I do miss working with my hands as a tree faller for the forestry department. Finding things to keep are mind sharp and active is the really hard part about being a househusband. which can make men seem less masculine and make them feel downgraded. Knowing how to stay active and exercise is a big important thing for househusband.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Every self respecting man would do these sorts of things living himself , and in my view no woman should be with a man that can’t or won’t do these basic tasks and more besides
So anyone pointing at it being somehow less “manly” or “masculine” to choose to do it as a househusband needs to up their meds.

Yes , couples can choose to be traditional or not and if the best decision for a time or permanently is for the male to be at home for whatever reason as long as the decision is reached by them and for them then that’s fair play. It’s not a “downgrade” , it’s not beneath any sex or gender to fill this role regardless of what anyone says , 1960 gender roles are dead and buried.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Whatever works for your family unit. The Idea that the man is the boss died long ago. Your family may be structured that way. If that is what works best for you then more power to you. The idea that a male has to be the bread winner and supporter started losing strength after WW2. Women had to flex their concept of who they were and what they were capable of doing. Soon wives were working alongside their husbands. So what do you do if you wife would be more productive if you kept the fort. It would be absolutely foolish in this economy to not support her and allow her to be as efficient as possible.

RingOfFire · Answer

Yes, less masculine for sure.

I have a cousin who's like a brother to me. We grew up together and I love him to the core.

He was a lawyer but he quit the profession when he was around 40 and stayed home raising the kids while his wife worked. I couldn't help thinking that he was less of a man for doing that. That's just the way it is. Men are supposed to provide and protect for the family. That's their job. A woman's job is to bear and take the main responsibility in raising the children. And that by its nature also means making the house a home.

I think that's what creates a successful and strong family. And I think it's the natural roles that nature clearly designed men and women to do differently.

SolitarySolace · Answer

The reason it’s seen as a downgrade is because most women don’t respect men in that role. They say they’re fine with it until they actually have to live with it—and then suddenly he’s lazy, boring, or not ambitious enough. Society still associates masculinity with provision, and women, even subconsciously, still measure men by that standard. The double standard is real—and pretending it’s not is just dishonest.” – Eva ❤️

Joshydavid25 · Answer

It's not viewed as a downgrade, it's not less masculine, but it's model that even most women don't even want.. While there's nothing wrong with couples who agree to that, that's just not the nature of things.. Men are naturally the pursuers, go getters and risk takers, which is the opposite of "homemakers".. It doesn't make a man less masculine, but it's definitely not exactly a masculine endeavor.

exitseven · Answer

I was a house husband for over a year while I finished grad school. I took care of the kids and most of the domestic chores. It was challenging and between school and taking care of the household i had no time for video games. Still I felt like needed to go back to being the breadwinner again.

bolverk · Answer

Why would you think that?

Single men have to take care of their own house — cooking, cleaning, grocery runs, handling appointments, keeping the place running day to day, the only difference is taking care of the kids (unless they are like me and have taken care of their nieces & nephews for extended periods) and you don't think that they are 'less masculine'.

worldscolide · Answer

Nah not at all, Why would i? Its not for me, i gotta be doing something other than house related stuff, But there is nothing wrong with those that choose that path. Just like there is nothing wrong with choosing to be a housewife, contrary to what a lot of feminists say.

Staximus · Answer

Men have always been thought of as the providers for the family, so a lot of people may think it's not manly. My friend's wife makes a shitload of money and he became the house husband after their sun was born. He seems to be pretty happy. I don't know how happy he's going to be in a couple years when he plans to go back to work haha

RandomUser1000 · Answer

Some of those things sound boring. But If you have kids, you love your kids and are able to spend a lot of time with them while they grow up. I'd consider you lucky regardless of man or woman.

Godihateyou · Answer

No. I don't. And my vote counts as 3. I'm a masaganist (and a bad speller) if a dude can admit his girl makes more money and his value is at home doing domestic shit, then he has bigger balls than me ( I stand all day at a desk job because I can't sit on my balls)

Billlewis · Answer

I've served several women in this manner, but I'm not satisfied with that role alone; I find it much more appealing to serve her as a pay pig, as well.

NicholasRedone · Answer

@mzash yes and the additional toll a lack of multiple income streams from only one partner working to support either the whole family growing or to even keep an couples expenses lol 😆 afloat

jahaims · Answer

Men don't share universal opinions. The negative opinions of stay at home parents comes from bad/lazy parents and ignorant people that don't understand the context of being a stay at home parent. I am a stay at home dad who also homeschools.

beenherebefore · Answer

It’s an ick for me. While I appreciate my partner giving me a hand from time to time I don’t think he should be the one doing it.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Whole thing is kind of weird, male female relationships are declining in general. Modern life puts some men in that position.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Not before I became one and not after. The idea that work has to be paid to be valuable & contributory to SOCIETY instead of the household is insane & this myth has to die.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

It is to me, because it's simply a woman's role! There's a reason why a man is a man and a woman is a woman!

Shiprex · Answer

A step up would be how many women would find a man who was open about being one of them and thus date, marry and support him?

Pohjolan · Answer

Not really but the househusbands I do know are hardly a representative sample like one is a bodybuilder.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

I wish to be a house husband. Imagine getting to play videogames all day whilst someone else foots the bill.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Nope.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. I don't care if a guy's a himbo

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well i like dominant men

Quigly · Answer

Every single guy does those things.

itsannalee · Answer

Yes for me

Sluttt · Answer

No he can be hot too

dougeats · Answer

I dont think they would be

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

No. Why should I?

WhitneySnow · Answer

Not at all

Genzet · Answer

No I don't

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

yes.

Do you see househusbands as less masculine?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you see househusbands as less masculine?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.