Have you ever jumped straight out of one relationship and into another?

[Pink934]

Let’s say for whatever reason everything in the prior relationship was going wrong. Have you ever then ended that relationship and a few months later found someone new?

How did that go for you?

Went well, still together

Went well to start with then fell apart

Didn’t go well

Eventually I missed my ex and felt I’d made a mistake

Updates

10 mo

Well seen it’s the men that jumped into the new relationships and that it ‘went well’ 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Finchie40]

Yes , and it was the best decision I made because the girl I was in a relationship with first , wasn’t the nicest person , she had her good side but sadly
More bad side that I didn’t really care for , she was very judgmental and a hypocrite which I didn’t care for , I eventually met another girl that was sweet and kind and had a great personality and beautiful as well , and her and I clicked immediately as friends’ she knew I was in a relationship , so she was respectful about it but I could tell she liked me more than just friends’ so I dumped my girlfriend and jumped into a relationship with this girl and she was so much better than my ex was to me. My ex was t very happy that I ended up with that girl and I did feel like a selfish asshole for doing so , but the truth is I didn’t have feelings for my girlfriend like I did for this other girl. Me and the other girl had a lot more in common and enjoyed a lot of the same things. Now if my girlfriend had a better personality and treated me better than she didn, then I would have stayed with her and told the other Girl , sorry I am take.

[Pink934]

I mean that’s kinda fair enough, but why did you stick with this girlfriend if you weren’t really into her in the first place? Rather than waiting til someone ‘better’ came along? Isn’t that bit selfish…

[Finchie40]

I wasn’t waiting for someone better to come along , the better someone came to me but yes I agree I was still selfish , why I knew to never do that again to someone , I was young and dumb

[Pink934]

So did that relationship work out in the end? I think it’s a selfish thing to do to a partner, especially if they were a good person.

[Finchie40]

It lasted a few years until she ended up leaving me for someone else , so I guess , i experienced Karma , why I learned my lesson and never did that ever again

[Pink934]

Fair enough. I hope the same thing happens with my ex to be honest.

[Finchie40]

Did your ex leave you for someone else? Sadly that’s sort of thing happens more than we like to think it does , it mainly stems down from selfishness. Basically I am not getting my way with this relationship so I am going to latch onto someone else , and if that someone else is better than my partner , then I will leave my partner for them. So many Guys’ and Girls’ ’ do this.

[Pink934]

Not exactly, it’s complicated. He wanted to marry me etc for long time but I kept repeatedly pushing him away and eventually I distanced myself from him and stopped making any effort to see him. He broke down in the end and broke up with me, and ended up meeting someone new a few months later. She’s quite like me in ways, short with brown hair and in the same line of work. Her facial features are also like mine too. It hurt me an awful lot.

[Finchie40]

You must be his type if he went for a girl that looks like you, I’m sorry to hear you lost him , but unfortunately you both didn’t see eye to eye on things and that’s why he moved on.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"Have you ever jumped straight out of"

VS

"ended that relationship and a few months later".

To me, your terms are contradicting each other. To me, someone jumping straight out of and into another relationship means like a week of timeout. But few months later, no, as it indicates that there is room to undergo a mourning phase.

[Pink934]

I think a few months later still counts as jumping…. how ok earth can you be over someone you loved in only a few short months? Help me understand, cause that’s beyond me.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I can explain, it's heavily context dependent.

If I initiate a breakup, it is because it is the conclusion of months of dissent of hopelessness. So I don't have much to heal from there because breaking up is already a relief.

If she initiates a breakup and I wasn't expecting it at all, in that case, it's going to take me more than few months to recover, that is certain. It can take a year, this is my personal "record" lol.

And there are also cases where a breakup, whoever initiates it, happens only after a few months of relationship for example, then there is not much to heal for me because there was not much hope brought/invested into the relationship yet.

[Pink934]

Either way it’s all really sad, years wasted for one party to jump into something new and completely forget you ever existed. I couldn’t do that in good conscience.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

But no one forgets anyone, it's impossible to forget someone with whom we've been years with.

It's just possible to move on, which means accepting to lose what is effectively lost: A bond. In order to relate to someone new and form a bond, without being trapped in our own past.

I hope you'll be able to do that, else it means that you'll be trapped forever in sorrow

[Pink934]

I don’t think it should be possible to move on if you ever properly loved a person in the first place. How can you say you want to marry a woman and have her be the mother of your children then not want to fight for her in the end?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You don't think it should be possible to move on? Well, then I'm glad you're not making laws here because I really don't want to stay forever in sorrow, personally lol.

I wouldn't assume that people need any marriage or make any kid to be in love and enjoy relationships. Because that would severely deny the reality of people's feelings & lives, this reality is for all ages, for all countries on earth. But if you're the kind to impose what love should and should not be, then I guess what I'm telling is really out of your thinking box

[Pink934]

You’ve clearly never had your heart broken. When the guy you intended to spend your life with tells you he wants those things with you then leaves you - that’s a whole other level of devastation.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Oh, so after defining arbitrarily what love should and should not be in the world, you're defining heartbreak for me? Your sympathy is not the best today, but your navel-gazing certainly skyrockets. That wasn't a pleasure meeting you, good bye 🫡

[Anonymous]

lol no absolutely not. i have a friend who does tho. if she doesn't have someone, her life is like... "over". but she's doing herself a disservice. she doesn't allow herself to heal. all so she doesn't have to be seen as single and alone.

[Pink934]

That’s so weak of her.

[Opinion Owner]

yes, but she's married now so i guess she won.

[Pink934]

Not necessarily. People marry for the sake of it

[Opinion Owner]

true

[DishLady]

No. It takes me a few years on average to think, "Hmm, let's try this again."

[Pink934]

Oh me too! Don’t understand how people manage to jump back in

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️ some folks are just that horny I guess.

[Pink934]

Ugh 😑 then it turns into something more serious after a while

[DishLady]

Maybe... but maybe not. We need time to make sure we're choosing wisely... ACTUAL relationship material. If we keep hopping from one jerk to the next we just desensitize ourselves to being with jerks just for the sake of not being alone. No bueno!

[Pink934]

Men are definitely worse for jumping into new things than we are. I definitely agree though, we should never ever get used to being with people who don’t know how to treat us properly.

[DishLady]

It’s relative. I think if I was a guy and everything between my thighs was raging for sex daily I’d either die or find a girl to be with. Girls don’t have that problem.

[Pink934]

I think it’s just sad to throw a relationship away over your own horniness 😕

[DishLady]

Biologically that’s just reality. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Pink934]

True. It’s how I lost my long term partner though and it hurts

[AI Opinion]

Jumping from one relationship to another, especially when things were going south, can be like trying to hit a moving target during a windy day. Trust me, it’s tricky! 😅 When things in a relationship go wrong, it can be tempting to find comfort in someone new. But be cautious of those famous "rebound" feelings. When you're in that emotional whirlwind, consider giving yourself some single time to heal and reflect. Rushing into something new too quickly can sometimes mean dragging along old baggage, which no one wants on their love trip!

[beenherebefore]

Before meeting my current Partner I used to wait for at least six months before getting into a new relationship but the way my ex broke up with me and the way things ended were very traumatic and hurtful. Being on my own felt like torture and I’ve always been someone who’s okay being on my own. I met my current Partner one month and a half after the break up, at that time I had no idea it was going to turn into a serious relationship when I was just trying to distract myself from what had happened. It’s been nearly three years and still counting but I must say I do not advise anyone jumping into a relationship right after a break up you need time to process what happened and you need time to heal yourself.

[Beckybooboo]

Never. After my last break up, I was single for over a year and really didn't even wanna date.

[Pink934]

You sound a lot like me. That’s exactly how I’ve been.

[Beckybooboo]

If my current boyfriend and I didn't share a parking lot (we work in separate buildings but use the same parking lot) and see each other every morning and if he wasn't so cute and charming, I would probably still be single. It's always those chance meetings. It started off as a friendly "hello" every morning, to small talk as we walked to our respective buildings, to grabbing coffee one morning, to a first date, to being engaged...

[Pink934]

Aw that’s so lovely 🥰 I’m glad you found someone else. He sounds like a good one.

[BadApple69]

Yes men need someone in their lives. Women for some reason can go a long time without a guy in their lives. So yes men jump into the next relationship very quickly.

[Pink934]

That’s pathetic. Exactly what my ex did with me and I’ll never look at him the way I used to

[BadApple69]

It may be pathetic but that’s the norm…. Sorry you don’t like it.

[Pink934]

It’s the norm for people who aren’t secure in themselves. Maybe.

[BadApple69]

You see… you are a woman and you think like a woman. A man thinks differently.

[Pink934]

What about the man who broke up with the woman he loves, blew up his relationship and broke her heart. What does he think of his actions?

[BadApple69]

I am not that man. And remember everyone is different. I I am talking in generalizations…. That’s all we can do not knowing the actual players.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Have I ever jumped straight out of one relationship and into another?

No, I haven't.

[Pink934]

Great, that’s reassuring.

[Nikki1989]

Of course. Opportunities are fleeting; therefore, it is prudent to capitalize on them as soon as they arise.

[Pink934]

Not how I operate. People aren’t just opportunities to be taken.

[Anonymous]

I've never been in any kind of relationship :(

[Pink934]

Keep it that way 💪🏻

[Opinion Owner]

I don't have a choice, it's not voluntary.

[Pink934]

Why don’t you think you have a choice?

[Opinion Owner]

Because no girl wants me, or at least no girl that I like.

[Pink934]

That’s the hard bit and I know how you feel, that’s similar to my situation.

[Opinion Owner]

So all of your loves were unrequited too?

[Pink934]

Not all. But at this point in my life they are.

[Opinion Owner]

That's sad :(

[WhitneySnow]

I guess but a few months is a pretty big gap

[Pink934]

A few months isn’t long when a relationship lasted years.

[WhitneySnow]

I’ve never had one that lasted years except for my current relationship

[Pink934]

It hurts big time when a long term relationship falls to pieces and they go off with someone else only a few months after

[WhitneySnow]

A few months really is a long time

[Pink934]

8 years is a long time. A few months isn’t.

[WhitneySnow]

8 years? Wow. I was eleven eight years ago.

[Pink934]

Exactly. Now that’s a long time ago.

[Tovarich]

When young, yes, but they weren't really serious, so wasn't a big deal. It had no effect on why it ended.

[Pink934]

How long did the relationships you jumped into last?

[Jupiter1]

I rebounded with a friend I never found attractive at all from a girl I was madly in love with. I took advantage of her attraction to me and her. I later realized that she kept allowing the abuse.

[Pink934]

How long did you stay with her? Did you meet her friends/family etc?

[Jupiter1]

@Pink934, She was my friend since childhood who suddenly revealed to me that she had a crush on me after high school. I didn’t really appreciate that. I know her entire family and her brothers used to be my drinking buddies. They agreed that her sudden crush revelation was very creepy but they didn’t like the way I took advantage of her for a couple of months. I broke up with her after two months. Her brothers and I actually got into a fistfight over that. We all (the guys) shook hands after the fight and stayed friends but I avoided her little by little til I completely ghosted her.

[Jupiter1]

It was actually one of the brothers who introduced my next girlfriend. That happened about a year later. That relationship didn’t last. (9 months only.)

Both those guys (the brothers) became soldiers and were assigned in various battles. One died in Afghanistan and the other died in Pakistan about a year later. I attended both funerals and saw their sister both times.

[Purpleronnie]

Not since being an adult.

[Pink934]

That’s what we like to hear 💪🏻

[jahaims]

Nah, I'm not unstable

[Pink934]

We love to hear that 👍🏻

[Anonymous]

Women do that all the time. They have so many options

[Pink934]

Not me

[elizamichale1]

No not really...

[trumpetplayerforlife]

I've done it didn't go great

[Pink934]

How long did it last?

[BeachBreak420]

No, I need a timeout first.

[Anonymous]

No because I'm not insecure and needy

[StevenMcGarrett]

It works out most of the time.

[Pink934]

Kinda unfair

[StevenMcGarrett]

Unfair for who?

[Pink934]

To the person you leave behind while you’re busy pursuing someone else

[dudeinohio]

Yep. Married her. Doing great.

[Pink934]

Don’t you think it was disrespectful to the last person you dated to jump into a new thing with someone else so quickly?

[dudeinohio]

I don't really care honestly. It may sound harsh; but i can't let opportunity pass me by.

[Pink934]

It’s pretty selfish, yes. Especially if the ex partner was a decent person who would’ve wanted to work things out. I don’t understand the mentality of people who do these things

[dudeinohio]

No. As far as I am concerned, once it is over, it's over. Time to move on. She dumped me. She deals with the consequences.

[Pink934]

Oh fair enough. Different story if she dumped you. I’m talking about you doing the dumping and then jumping onto the next thing - that’s the hurtful bit for the person on the receiving end

[Sam1133]

Yup j always believe in back up plan

[Pink934]

Ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Kelly6]

@Pink934 only one time