Have you stayed in a relationship even if your partner cheated or had an affair?

[Anonymous]

Nothing in life is black and white. The older we get, the more complicated life gets and shades of grey appear.

Life is harsh, and survival is key. Sometimes we compromise to further things for our loved ones.

This being said. Have you stayed in a relationship if you partner had an affair?

I actively know two scenarios in my circle:

1) A couple seem to be happily married. However, the wife is having health issues that are manageable but have created a chaos in their sex life (zero sex). So the husband after being patient for a while has sought out partners for sexual gratification. He loves his wife, and these sexual partners are a zero emotional investment for him. Is it acceptable for the husband to step out of the marriage?

2) Another couple has been together for over a decade since college. The wife however feels underappreciated and her life seems stale. She has been chatting with a colleague friend and they have good chemistry but not for marriage. The girl is very interested, but the guy mostly has sexual attraction only. They try to keep it civil, but sometime due to loneliness they keep going through phases of flirting. Is it ok for the wife to consider other options?

[Finchie40]

No , the second a girl cheats on me it’s over , Cheating isn’t a mistake , it’s a choice , a selfish choice. People that cheat have no dignity or respect for anyone but themselves , they only want what’s they feel is best for themselves without factoring in their partners’ feelings. If someone is unhappy in a relationship the respectful thing to do is end the relationship first before jumping into bed with someone else , but unfortunately most people in general don’t do that, because they are selfish , they will string someone along until they find a replacement or go back to their partner like nothing happened.

[MrOracle]

Nope. That would end that relationship immediately, and I mean right fuckin' now. I would immediately revoke access to my house and my network (my main entry doors have card-key and fingerprint access, so I can control access or revoke access from anywhere) and that would be that.

I don't tolerate that kind of disrespect, or anything close to it. I'm not afraid to be alone, though it's certainly not what I prefer. Of course, my girlfriend knows all this, and takes cheating just as seriously as I do.

[avery58]

Cheating is never okay, period. There is no such thing as a valid excuse to cheat. If you can't work the problem out or find a solution that you both agree to such as an open marriage, then divorcing them would be much better than cheating because you're at least not cucking them and by divorcing you're letting them go with dignity and possibly find another connection that suits them. Once certain boundaries are crossed you'll probably never feel comfortable in that marriage ever again. Some can, but I think it's safe to say most wouldn't be able to. And it's not fair to hurt the person you so called love.

[Asker]

I still think this can be a very idealistic take especially when you are young. And it serves a lot better when you are not married.

However, once you are married and have kids, the amount of things that get wrecked from a divorce or separation can cause too much harm.

Sex is never as significant as love. In the two examples I shared, I think I can see the first one as a valid reason to step out of the marriage (only for sex, only to keep the marriage going, only because medically its impossible to sustain within the marriage).

In the second example, I think the woman needs to quit her marriage. In this scenario cheating is not okay.

[avery58]

He should ask her first if she's okay with an open marriage. Being honest and letting her choose if she's okay with that is the only right thing to do and the least he could do for her.

[Asker]

As a realist, I think I can agree with that for 80% of the time. For 20% of the time, if the wife is not as practical or thinking things through, or is not in the best of health/mind... it would be an executive, and to not harm her.

[Asker]

executive decision*

[SphynxUK]

People always have a reason for cheating. So, if you’re not happy in a relationship, and you’ve tried to make it work, it’s time to leave. It’s called being a respectful adult. Cheating is for cowards.

[beaves11]

No they don’t. Often it’s emotional immaturity on the cheaters part.

[MrOracle]

@beaves11 She means people always have an EXCUSE for cheating - something that, in their minds, excuses their infidelity, because they won't take accountability for their actions. She's saying that excuses don't cut it, and that if you aren't happy or aren't fulfilled or whatever you think your justification is, then end the relationship BEFORE you pursue something with someone else.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the complexities of love and relationships! My mission is to help navigate these tricky waters with a sprinkle of humor and flirtation! 🤭 Life isn't just black and white; it's a swirl of romantic hues! Cheating and affairs bring out those vivid shades of emotional turmoil. Staying together after an affair can work if both partners are committed to mending trust and love. But it takes effort, babe!

For Mr. Patient with his wife's health issues, stepping out may help short-term but might cause emotional potholes later. Love is about creative problem-solving, not just seeking temporary gratification. And for the neglected wife feeling stagnant, exploring feelings elsewhere can lead to disaster. Maybe spice up those college vibes with her man instead? Relationships thrive on communication and understanding, not ghosting and secret rendezvous! 😉

Turning gray areas into adventure zones of love, that's what it's all about! ❤️💕

[Nikki1989]

When you have sex with other people behind your back, it is a problem.

[hellopeoplee]

I’m not proud to say but when and my boyfriend first started dated I was talking to my ex an cheated it was really rough but I’ve changed an wish I would have done it differently in the past no one deserves that.

[Finchie40]

Does your boyfriend know you cheated on him with your ex?’

[hellopeoplee]

Yes he decided he wanted to work past it and try again.

[Anonymous]

vast majority of the time, whenever someone cheats in a relationship, there is something dysfunctional going on inside that relationship.

[Oldschool1981]

Sure, it low key turns me on. I don't encourage cheating but don't discourage it either.

[DrPepper12]

Yes. It was called "High School & College"

[jahaims]

That is black or white. If you stay with a partner that cheats you have no self-respect

[janemarie15]

Yes! because that is my decision. I stayed, coz I love him so much and hoping he will realize someday.

[lorenzomichael]

Nope if that ever happened I’d be gone I couldn’t trust her ever again

[Anonymous]

I never had a relationship, so I don't have to worry about being cheated on.

[Unycorn]

No. So far no Partner cheated at me.

[roganlone]

Yes and it was the wrong decision

[pragatimonga]

I haven't

[Slim57]

Nah I could never