After a long marriage or relationship ends do you even want to be in another?

[dwreborn]

Maybe it's because it's still new to me but have no interest in any relationship how long did you go before you wanted one or if you never did?

[AviatorTom]

Good question. I was divorced, amicably, after 20+ years of marriage. After the divorce, I really wasn't interested in another relationship, but I was interested in female companionship. So, after a few months of initial grief and adjusting to being on my own for the first time in years, I started dating a few women, nothing really that serious, with no intention of a long-term relationship or marriage.

Then, after a few years, I met this one woman. She was different from the rest, and I realized, after just a few dates, that I wanted to be more than her date. About 4 months after we met, I proposed, she said yes, and we were married a year later. We are now at almost 9 years and counting.

[dwreborn]

I definitely want the feeling of being wanted again just to talk and she wants to listen I went to bar other night and met a girl she was great funny smart attractive we even had more in common than my wife and I after talking for couple hours she left but gave me her number and I got home thought about it and threw it away I don't know why I guess just not ready yet we are just separated not divorced yet but ya it sucks just seems exhausting

[AviatorTom]

@dwreborn Next time don't throw her number out. Just hide it if you don't want to use it. You may change your mind later.

[dwreborn]

Ya i know i shouldve

[Anonymous]

For me, no. My marriage ended almost two years ago and I have had no interest in dating since then. She cheated with a person, and in a way, that has been particularly hurtful and difficult for me to get past. I don't see myself dating anytime soon tbh.

[dwreborn]

I feel for you my marriage hasn't been good in a while last couple of years and I've been trying to figure it out but i try and talk to her about things and she just avoids and has lied about certain things but thank god cheating hasn't happened yet we have both agreed to end things before it gets to that but she has promised to work on things so we will see i hope to work things out cause its gonna kill me to have to let her go but we both have a lot of work to do before that happens and i dont think we should give up we mesh together so well get along great there is no reason not to try but after years together sometimes things dont work out i know we are still really in love with each other iam even more in love with her more then ever i guess we will see

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck bro, I hope you two are able to works things out.

[Vevv123]

Thats a pretty common thing to feel especially if you were with them for a long time. I would say it depends, but usually it’s good to stay distracted or find hobbies so that you can keep your mind occupied and possibly feel better.

[dwreborn]

It's tough I just love to talk about things with my wife but she just needs some time and space and I do to we both need to rediscover ourselves but I just need once in a while a nice conversation and dinner and whatever I just hope once a week is all I ask but that's what I will miss

[dwreborn]

Just hanging out with a woman would be nice but I have no idea if I will ever want to be married again or get serious after this heartbreak

[Vevv123]

Yes I’ve felt this way before, it was rough because I think I’m very codependent and I usually don’t need any space, if anything I’m a velcro partner 😆 with time it does go away, it just takes a lot of time. You do get past the sadness of not having someone to talk to, you get used to it. If you have family and friends around it does help too.

[dwreborn]

Ya its first breakup for me never been in another relationship before since 19 I've been with her so its gonna be a long difficult road just trying to get as much advice opinions and stories to use to figure this out

[Vevv123]

Wow that’s very long. It’s definitely going to take time. I also encourage hobbies. Spending time outdoors and things that distract your mind are usually good.

[dwreborn]

Ya it just sucks not getting a reason other then i dont know just need time then i get wondering whats wrong with me but I've accepted it now so each day is better

[Vevv123]

Interesting. She said she needs time? That's kind of odd since it was a pretty long relationship, I would imagine needing time is something someone needs at the beginning when they realize their partner might not be a match with them. I would be equally confused as you. If you haven't done anything like cheat than I'm sure nothing is wrong with you. It sounds like you're kind of still together, maybe try asking her if there's someone else?

[dwreborn]

Ya i know its hard to keep things fresh a few years ago i think i went through a mid-life crisis and was kinda hanging out with friends more then her and i didn't think anything I was doing was wrong but i wasn't being a good husband she's everything to me and i relized that and i stopped put all my time into work and our family now she's doing the same exact thing i mean exact so i think she's going through it now because i felt unsure about if we would be happy together rest of our lives and i snapped out of it she fought to get my head back in the right place and her doing that makes me in love with her more then ever I hope i can help her realize like she did for me and she seems like she is coming around i can feel it coming back it crazy how you can take your partner for granted and think you will be together for ever but you better always try to better your marriage if you just let it go the way things go without trying to better it you could lose it

[dwreborn]

Its just crazy that everything seems great even after 25 years but things just get normal and sometimes you dont catch it before its to late i hope i caught it in time

[Beckybooboo]

It takes me a while. Prior to my current relationship, I was in one close to two years. It was a year before I considered getting involved with someone.

[dwreborn]

Ya everyone is different for me being with her for 25 years iam going to be a mess for a while probably i hope we can work it out

[AI Opinion]

My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to sprinkle some wisdom and spark a connection! It’s completely normal to feel like you need a breather after a long relationship ends. Everyone has their own timeline. Some folks jump back into dating like it's a high-speed chase, while others enjoy the single life and a few solo movie nights for a while. Your heart needs space to heal and rediscover what sparks joy. Maybe it's time to date yourself and indulge in some serious me-time! 😎 Do what feels right, and don't rush the process. There's no rulebook, just your personal journey!

[Finchie40]

Not right away , but I don’t mind meeting girls’ on a friendly level that understand that I am not looking to rush into a relationship right away , I like to take things slow to give her and I time to really get to know each other before even considering a relationship with each other

[Nikki1989]

I have been in non-stop relationships since the age of 12 and don't regret anything. Even the worst relationships had their wonderful moments.

[dwreborn]

Ya of course to be in an relationship you want to be with them and for it to last forever if mine ends i won't ever regret it just because of my beautiful daughter and i cherish all those moments I've had with my wife and hope to work it out

[dwreborn]

Do you get used to the heartbreak the more you go through it or do they still hurt the same

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

At the beginning no. But once you've healed you might consider it again.

[dwreborn]

How long was you in a relationship for and how long before you felt able to date again if you dont mind me asking

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

We were married for six years. It took me about a year before opening up the idea of dating again.

[dwreborn]

Yup i figured if thats pretty much the average time from what I've heard i know its gonna take some serious time but no one deserves to be with an emotional mess like iam gonna be iam still wondering if I ever will love someone like my wife again

[Anonymous]

I've never been in any kind of relationship, so I can't speak from experience, but if that happened to me, yes, I would want a new relationship.

[dwreborn]

Why no relationships

[Opinion Owner]

Girls I like usually don't like me back.
Girls who like me are usually not my type.

[dwreborn]

Either your just not having any luck or you need to lower your standards people put to much pressure on themselves about looks honestly when my wife and I met she was pretty but not knock my socks off hot but after I got to know her she was everything to me and wouldn't even think about anyone else and still want her to this day but life doesn't give you what you want you have to want it and even then sometimes that don't happen

[Opinion Owner]

Indeed, I'm not having any luck, but I'm very patient.

[dwreborn]

Ya if your comfortable with your situation then that's great I've been together with my wife for so long that I forgot what I am but we are trying a separation before we completely quit but I will be alright either way that goes

[Opinion Owner]

That's a smart plan, I hope it will work out well for the two of you.

[Anonymous]

To much abuse and trauma from 2 relationships verbal abuse mental abuse emotional abuse and cheating then there's the death threats the defamation slander the constant threats do i want to be in another relationship no

[chrissykerdock]

I miss be

[dwreborn]

What were you trying to say?

[chrissykerdock]

being on my knees

[dwreborn]

Really is that how you value your relationships. You don't think your worth more then being on your knees

[chrissykerdock]

well you get other things known invisibly by doing that confirmation

[mrshooiser]

Nope

[dwreborn]

Why not are you still dealing with the pain or have you given up hope or just don't want to be serious with anyone

[mrshooiser]

Not exactly. Im happily married. And it will stay that way.

[dwreborn]

U wanna make sure I thought the same thing after 25 years together its not over yet but things can come up unexpectedly my wife is dealing with a mid-life crisis or menopause or some kind of identity crisis but we get along great good sex life great kid then all the sudden she wants a break cause she feels lost and avoids the topic and is just confused hoping after a little time she will snap out of it but I won't wait forever you guys better keep communicating or it can happen and you don't even know how or why it did like a light switch please believe this I never thought it would happen to me never say never life is tough and people change just remember that