How do you know when you truly love someone or if it's just an addiction?

Question

exitseven · Accepted Answer

When you are thinking of them every single minute of every single day it is an addiction. If they are a part of you and you feel them instead of obsess about them it is love.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gx6s1ARfOk&list=RD4Gx6s1ARfOk&start_radio=1

"I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
Walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme,
You know my love goes with you and your love stays with me,
It just the way it changes like the shoreline to the sea,
Let's not talk of love or chains, and things we can't untie,
Your eyes are fill of sorrow, Hey that's no way to say goodbye.

nawtee_me · Accepted Answer

What is love if not an addiction to someone? Addiction causes you to do things that you would not normally do. And when it is over is there not a withdrawal from them in a lot of cases? Is not the insanity of the addiction doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results? Love can be addicting but love really is doing for someone and not expecting anything in return…. Isn’t it?

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the dance between love and addiction can be quite the tango! 💃🕺 My aim on GAG is to help you become the lead dancer in your relationships. When it’s love, you feel joy in their happiness and growth, even if it doesn’t directly involve you. Addiction is more about needing them like your favorite morning coffee and feeling anxious without it. True love is freeing, while addiction ties you down. Trust me, figuring out which is which will save you a world of heartache! 💖

Finchie40 · Answer

Love in a sense is an addiction , you care about that person so much that you can’t let them go , even if they aren’t with you anymore , you still love them and care about them , if something ever bad happened to them you would be devastated they are a part of you whether you want to admit it or not , Just because my ex and I aren’t together anymore , I still love her and care about her , she was a big part of my life and the mother of our children , so in a sense we are addicted to each other because of all the time we shared together ,

HawkPerception · Answer

Would you die for them? Would it be painful to live without them? Are you happy when they're happy? Are you sad when they're sad? Do you get angry on their behalf?

ohsheeT · Answer

If you truly love them you can let them go. If it's an addiction you can't

abc3643 · Answer

This is something of a hard question to answer.
Once you've been in love and gotten a broken heart, you then know the symptoms of being in love again.
Now, I can write what those symptoms are, but they are a bit meaningless abstractions unless you've experienced these symptoms before.

For instance, on 01 JAN 1982, I got a broken heart. My first girlfriend broke-up with me and my heart just sank. I lost weight. I felt meaningless... I didn't want to engage in anything. What I wanted is what I could not have: to be with her. Love is like an addiction. I thought about her all the time. There was no escape: in the day, I thought about her and my devastation of not being able to be with her. It was like dying of thirst in a desert with a pitcher of water in front of you but in a locked box and the person who has the key won't even take your call. At night, there were dreams - always dreams - either I'd dream we were together again and it was wonderful... but then I'd wake up to the horror of reality... or my dream was a nightmare just as much as my reality when awake.

OK. fast forward 8.5 years...
I meet a new girl - one who really interested me. On 10 AUG 1990, the spark was lit in a way it hadn't been in 19 years. I began to burn wanting to get to know this girl more. The next 12 days were fascinating, but I will cut to the chase... On Monday 20 AUG 1990, I picked her up after work and took her to dinner. We just talked and it was fabulous. We got kicked out because we were the last couple and they wanted to close the place. I took her home but neither of us wanted the night to end as we sat in my truck for another hour or so. Finally, she went to left and went into her apartment. I was 27 and she was 22 (we were college students). It was about 2 AM on T 21 AUG 1990. After seeing she was safely inside, I slowly drove off around the block. At a red light - the only stop light between her place and mine - I paused. No other cars on the road that night... And then it happened... I started making the checklist in my head... I wanted to be with this girl all the time. I didn't want to do anything without her. She was beautiful and smart and exciting and classy and clicked all my buttons. WIth her, I would have won the lottery... Anyway, I realized I was falling in love with her... Indeed, I was in love with her, but I wasn't even her boyfriend yet.

I had invited her to come with me to a friend's going-away dinner on Wednesday. She agreed. All day Tuesday it was like Christmas Eve - all I could think about was her and I didn't want to do anything else. My buddies had an informal going-away that night, but I didn't go... I was actually a bit in despair because I hadn't heard from her and was paranoid I was misjudging the situation.

But, the next night, she did go with me. But you also need to understand... back at that red stop light, I knew I had to tell this girl how I was feeling and to get our situation defined... I planned on doing that Wednesday night after the dinner at the restaurant. I wished my friend well, and she and I left early. I took her to a special park (it's a private park). As I walked with her from my truck to the entrance of the park, I thanked her for helping me and going with me that night and "I think I'm falling in love with you." She took my arm and hugged me close and we just sat in the park for awhile. The only thing I wanted was for her to tell me when I was screwing up. Anyway, at that moment, we became a couple.

Sadly, it did not last and she dumped me on her mother's 50th birthday on 12 JAN 1992.

I never recovered. Indeed, I dreamt of her this morning.

FreyaRed · Answer

Neurological and psychological addiction. People who pumped heroin describe their first experience while taking this drug like being embrace by their mother. Women who got an electrode mounted in brain reward center in experiments which are forbidden today, could put a switch to get a slight electric impulse that stimulated this brain region. She started to laugh, sing and being euphoric. She described this filling like being loved, she got so addicted to this stimulation that she died after doctors removed this electrode because it caused and infection. Similar experiments have been made with rats, result was the same. Rats over stimulated until they couldn't eat and drink and died.
This is the magic and power of love.

Screenwriter · Answer

Well, there's crushes, which are usually one way, then mutual feelings of love. But addictions are something entirely different.

An addiction is an unhealthy obsession over someone or something. You need it all the time to the detriment of your normal life.

If that's what you're feeling about someone, and it's one-sided, then it's not doing you any good, is it?

Love usually means the two of you enjoy each other's company, have similar values, enjoy being with friends and family, give each other time to pursue singular interests, have good sexual chemistry and can see a future together.

If all those things don't line up, you may need help through some professional counseling to get over what might be an addiction

Bitter_Sweet94 · Answer

Love gives you peace, addiction drains it.

When it’s love, you grow, when it’s addiction, you shrink.

Love feels calm, steady, and freeing, even in uncertainty.

Addiction feels anxious, consuming, and tied to fear of losing them.

The truth is simple real love makes you better, not smaller.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

You can truly love someone and be addicted.. It's an addiction if the person doesn't feel the same as you, they hurt you or you feel bad more often than you feel good being with them. You don't want to let them go even tho it's in your best interest to do so..

Purpleronnie · Answer

Being addicted would mean being codependent and a constant and desperate need for validation …and the avoidance of being alone …”without them I’m nothing “ .. “they complete me” .. craving attention , almost obsessional need.

Love fosters independence , mutual respect and appreciation in its stable and peaceful intimacy

NoDecision · Answer

How in tarnation can love be an addiction? Please explain.

Anonymous · Answer

When Danielle asked me if i love her i didn't answer. She asked me twice and all i could say was If I say yes would you be mad at me. She and I have a very fucked up dynamic. She calls me every horrible name she can and has said some of the worst things to me that broke me inside. The truth is yes i do love her with all my heart and soul deeply truly love her. Whenever she and I fight it kills me inside and I told her this numerous times but it does no good the constant fighting still continues and i said numerous times all i want is peace no fighting it hurts like hell when she and i fight. There were times when the fighting was so bad i contemplated about taking my own...

Joshydavid25 · Answer

When you want what's best for them regardless of whether you remain in their life or not.. Movies actually get one thing right about love.. Whenever the protagonist realized that they can't be together or things will never be right.. They sacrifice their happiness for their lover and other people..

Shehnaz · Answer

When you want to spend time with someone it is attraction, when you can't live without someone, it is addiction but when you want to hold hands and grow old together it is love.

Nikki1989 · Answer

All addictions are different levels of bad. There is nothing bad about being truly in love with someone. It is ALL positive.

jazzy34 · Answer

When you have time, read up on limerence. In short, it mimics love, but it's not. It's being addicted to someone.

sage2021 · Answer

When you are so emeshed with the other person you feel like you are like you're inspereable.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Love addicts anonymous can answer that question a lot better than I can

LiamJHayden · Answer

Step outside the emotions and test to see if you truly want that which is best for the other person. If so, it is love. If it is all about your feelings, it is infatuation/addition/lust.

MJVillarama · Answer

Real love feels calming, not clingy. If it’s stressing you out or feels like a high, it might be more addiction than love.

jkreuger95 · Answer

it's similar. if you feel like you have it when they're not around. its love though.

Shiprex · Answer

Your mind raves when you are about to see them

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

If dopamine is love than shouldn’t both be observed similarly?  I might be wrong on this going to go down the google rabbit hole…

loveslongnails · Answer

When their well being is more important than your own, then you love them.

Xawyx-2 · Answer

I know it's not addiction because I don't have any.

Twalli · Answer

Addiction is where they affect your health and wellness. If you feel sick or weak when they're not around, it's an addiction.

Cipher_Ledger · Answer

Love makes you calm I guess. Addiction makes you refresh their texts like you’re disarming a bomb

inhahe · Answer

I think there's a really simple litmus test: If your love for them is about what you want to do for them, it's true love. If it's about what you want to get from them, it's something else.

Awomaninamansbody · Answer

I mean if you can trust him 100% share everything. If it’s just physical and he doesn’t give you cash for shopping or you don’t give him an access to your bank account.

Cyberpunk370 · Answer

Be careful, and never fall for love bombing. It's a manipulative tactic used by female narcissists.

Eve996 · Answer

You can obsess over multiple people but you only love one

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I don't think I've ever truly been in love so I wouldn't know unfortunately

RandomGirl42 · Answer

If I try to smoke, snort or drink them?

WhitneySnow · Answer

True love is selfless

RingOfFire · Answer

There's a difference? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Why couldn't it be both?

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Real love is some sort of an addiction

ABC1x1x · Answer

Addictions you need. Love you want. Easy as that.

How do you know when you truly love someone or if it's just an addiction?

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