What do you think about people with limerence?

Question

Limerence is an involuntary, intense state of romantic infatuation characterized by obsessive thoughts and fantasies about another person, known as the "limerent object". It involves a strong desire for reciprocation and a mix of euphoria and despair, fluctuating with the perceived signs of the other person's feelings.

Kaneki05 · Accepted Answer

I was summoned, and yes I have this. It varies vastly between people. For myself it's a strong force that will make me like someone despite barley knowing them or even having reasons to not like them. I can tell when it's happening which some can't whether that's due to lack of educating themselves to know the difference or delusion.

The thing about Limerence is after so much time you'll suddenly one day not like them if it was built upon that, as it wasn't a voluntary purposeful liking of said person.
Though you are only truly hopeless if you can't recognize it. If you do you can rationalize and see which way it sways more.
And try to recognize their flaws more early on, do less to feed into it being built upon that but liking them for rational reasons too.

Will say mine is a bit different too as typically Limerence is singular as in you'll be obsessed with that one person but mine easily triggers towards multiple though it does sway to one more than another which typically is whom I interact with most.
And obviously if I'm in a relationship I can step back and notice it so I won't cheat.

Self control and reflection is the best way to deal with limerence, if someone ain't good at that it's not going to end well for them.

Still-alive · Accepted Answer

I can freely admit this happened to me with my high school crush. We only really interacted for reals a few times but because i was too shy and not confident in myself i couldn’t bring myself to actually try talking to her or asking her out. So i basically just conjured up what i think her personality was like and crushing on that rather than the real her.

yeah it took me awhile to realize i even did that too. Took awhile to get over it as well

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

So do you have this about Bachelor #1, Bachelor #2, or your ex?

Are your pills still working the way they should? 💊 Maybe you need another kind or increase the dosage.🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this have anything to do with your attachment disorder you used to talk about?

I don't mean to sound like I'm picking on you, but I thought 🤔 you were fine since starting the medication. I saw a big change in your personality after you started your meds.

I've forgotten exactly what the question was and now I can't read it once I am on this screen. Sorry! 😐

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

I occasionally chat with an anonymous woman on this site who most definitely struggled with Limerence throughout 2024 and the first few months of this year. Never encountered a person like this and from my experience dealing with her, Limerence is scary. To obsess over someone, stalk, intimidate, and even harass them all because your feelings are not being reciprocated is one of the craziest things I’ve ever personally witnessed.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the spicy world of limerence! It's like being on an emotional rollercoaster, right? 🎢 Intense feelings and obsessive thoughts can definitely crank up the romance drama. Sometimes, it feels like you're playing a game of cosmic chess with the universe! But these passionate infatuations might blind us to underlying realities or red flags. Love is thrilling, but balancing excitement with emotional health is key. Just don’t forget to hop off the ride if it gets too dizzying—your heart will thank you! 😘

AviatorTom · Answer

I've always called this phenomenon infatuation, so I've now been properly educated, thank you very much.

There's a huge Wikipedia article about this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence complete with pictures, like this one.

Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss, by Antonio Canova, first version 1787–1793

ohsheeT · Answer

I didn't know there was anything like this I'm going to have to look this up this is very interesting and also very powerful. Do you have any more knowledge on this

Bitter_Sweet94 · Answer

I think people with limerence aren’t weak or foolish, they’re usually emotionally hungry.

Limerence isn’t love.

It’s attachment mixed with fantasy, uncertainty, and unmet needs.

Often it forms when someone is lonely, emotionally deprived, or craving validation.

The mind fills in the gaps with projection, not reality.

What makes it painful is that the bond feels real, but it isn’t mutual or grounded.

You’re connected to an idea of someone, not who they actually are.

I don’t judge it, but I do think it’s a signal, not a destination.

A signal that something inside wants attention, safety, or connection.

When that need is met in healthier ways, limerence usually loses its grip.

Real love feels calmer than limerence.

Less obsession.
More presence.

aaron13547 · Answer

I think involuntary is an excuse. Im going to be insensitive here. Involuntary actions are like how we breathe or how our heart beats. Yea ok we can't stop or start our hearts. But you sure can focus enough and hold your breath long enough to raise and lower your heart rate. You can also learn to keep your heart rate calm even when you hold your breath and it hurts... those are what we call involuntary actions. I think a person with limerence doesn't know how to control there mind. The same way it sucks to try and hold your breathe for 2 minutes when you have never tired it before...

Anonymous · Answer

This is a term that is being used more now. I did experience limerence for a few months in my mid-thirties. I was having not-so-good luck in the dating scene and a friend of mine introduced me to a good friend of hers because she thought we would be a good match. At first that lady and I hit it off but after a couple of weeks it should have been apparent that we were not a good match. However I was infatuated with her and I wouldn't face up to the idea that we were not a match. That, and my lady friend who introduced us was trying to be some sort of "mediator" which added to my anxiety. All this kept me up at nights, etc. I got over it after about a month of this major anxiety started. But yeah it fit the category of "limerence" that you hear about. There was this cycle of euphoria and despair that you mention. If it looked like it was working out, euphoria. If my phone calls were not returned, despair. Thankfully I got over it.

Zionne · Answer

Limerence isn’t “bad,” it’s just an overwhelming attachment system stuck on overdrive. People experiencing it aren’t crazy, they’re usually lonely, anxious, or lacking emotional security, so their brain latches onto someone as a source of validation. It becomes unhealthy only when it replaces real connection, disrupts functioning, or makes someone ignore boundaries or red flags.

Keyboardkat · Answer

But doesn't everybody who is caught in the throes of first falling in love have those feelings for the deisred person? As time goes on and we get to know the person better, we get more realistic. At least, I hope so.

Lliam · Answer

I have experienced infatuation and been in several mutually infatuated relationships. It is the greatest thing in the world.
But I have never experienced limerence. That sounds too excessive... or obsessive.

FreyaRed · Answer

It's like every love, just most people want it's mutual and don't create a imaginary reality that fits to an obsessive expression of infatuation. It cluster C disorder

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Probably annoying to deal with that repeatedly? But if it’s for a time, might as well run with it, as long as it doesn’t progress into a felony stalking case. 🤷‍♂️

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Apparantly I'm a limerant. That sounds completely normal to me though

spartan55 · Answer

I don't get how it's involuntary? If you ever want some great examples hop on Reddit and check out. r/bodylanguge

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Been there, done that. I consider it the purest form of love, because it requires nothing more from the other person than an acknowledgement that you exist.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Never experienced someone lie this to have an opinion one way or another.

loveyouoak · Answer

I think positively about it, because I think I'm one of them too.

dudeinohio · Answer

They'd be ok if the other person was into. them, too

msc545 · Answer

This is not much different than being addicted to a drug and like drug addicts. These people are in serious trouble.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

All emotions are voluntary, sounds like a lack of self control to me

exitseven · Answer

I think a good laxative will fix it.

MemeSupreme · Answer

ik it can be really exhausting

fonduegirl · Answer

@kaneki05 handle this

WhitneySnow · Answer

I feel sorry for them

Shiprex · Answer

Hard work like obsessive types.

Massageman · Answer

I had one of those a few decades ago- - - sigh.

WonderingManII · Answer

Sounds like it happens to me?

msg321 · Answer

I think those kind of people are dangerous.

Nice222 · Answer

Sounds like a nice way for saying stalker.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Wow never heard of it

Anonymous · Answer

I understand them.

snermcger · Answer

Mental patients.

Anonymous · Answer

But u said u were in love with him

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