Is being ghosted something that bothers you?

[jJanSmit]

In real life that would be incredibly unfriendly. On line however, it happens a lot. I'll admit that I'm guilty as well.

[Summeroflove]

Well obviously it can hurt. But people who do this… it’s better to move on. They are showing you who they really are someone who isn’t a coward will express that they have lost interest. It’s weird because people tend to become more angry being ignored then given a direct answer…

Some people like keeping people on the back burner… So they have people feeding them constant attention and validation as well as narcissistic supply. Having backup plans. People to do stuff for them..: etc.

People don’t know social cues enough in real life… Okay. Some people simply don’t understand especially ending conversations. That it’s good to close a conversation…. Not just abruptly stop talking or walk away…. People are weird dude. And many aren’t worth it

[blueonblack22]

One of the major problems this creates is it makes people more reticent to trust and commit to future relationships.

I know it took me a long time to want to seriously date again after I had one ex girlfriend ghost me after 9 months of dating. Doesn’t mean all women are the same but still.

The thing is ghosting started off as “modern woman” bs approach. But now men are doing it to woman too.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 yeah it’s just BS…. And some of these men feel like they’re getting even but all they’re doing is scooping to that level.

Not everyone is that way… but plenty are.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 there’s extremes of people who never trust long term and people who trust too fast.

Some people go from one extreme of trusting too much to the other once they get burned too many times. Trust takes time. It’s not a overnight thing

[blueonblack22]

It’s a vicious cycle. It stems from women being naturally more picky/selfish, having unrealistic expectations that men can understand “passive communication and our “modern” culture encouraging them to be shitty to men.

Then men get burned by this and they in turn do it to a woman who doesn’t deserve it either. She gets jaded. Vicious cycle.

But some women do wake up when they get karma though.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 people just are who they choose to be. There is narcissistic women but not all of them are… Just some men are taught don’t have standards and put all your effort into someone regardless of if they give any back.

But. The men who act this way…. Chase off women who are self respecting decent women.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 if someone says “all women are this way” it offers the excuse. That women simply cannot help themselves.

I’ve met amazing women. People just need to sift the sand for the gold. This includes women picking men. A lot of people genuinely aren’t worth it.

[blueonblack22]

I’ve met decent women too. But in general they are more prone to ghosting. Reason being they are more likely to use their “emotions” to self justify shitty behavior.

They also started all this bullshit. I’m a bit older and I can remember a time many years ago where the concept of “ghosting” was unheard of.

But I am also acknowledging that men are doing this bs now to “get even” and it’s wrong. Even worse in some ways because men are supposed to be better at compartmentalizing their emotions. That is they should know that two wrongs don’t make a right.

But I’ve seen people (both men and women) claiming that “ghosting is your closure” which f’d up and completely insane. This is from people who haven’t been ghosted about someone they are care about yet. But hopefully what goes around comes around for them. But some people sadly never get karma.

Admittedly I do got a bit of chip on my shoulder after I had one woman do this to me after 9 f’ing months of dating. She was young and immature. So I was semi-prepared for that outcome. But still hurt a lot.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 people who ghost are doing you a favor. If they are that big or a coward. Why even want them?

[blueonblack22]

I get it. But again can you expect people to fully commit knowing that ghosting can always be a risk?

When you are a woman’s good side it’s easy to see the best in them. But women (as mentioned some men now) see ghosting as a perfectly acceptable and guilt free option.

I can remember a time when this was exceptionally rare. Not that it didn’t happen but much more unheard of. Modern culture has made this exponentially worse. Particularly when mixed feminism is telling some their immediate emotion is their “truth”.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 look people who ghost are simply cowardly and obviously it’s a risk… If someone ghosts me in a weird way they are doing me a favor by not wasting my time and showing me their true colors so I can move on.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 most people ghost too because they want to keep someone interested enough to stay on the back burner. As well as feed themselves validation and use someone. Be it for emotioanlnsippprt. Validation. Free dates and gifts…. Etc.

If you’re honest with someone kindly. That door pretty much closes and they move on..:’

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 but it’s easy. Most people don’t just ignore someone in real life or walk away from a conversation in the middle of it

Online…. It’s easy.

[blueonblack22]

My gut told me that the one ex who ghosted me was unfortunately capable of that. So I was semi prepared for it. I know the relationship wasn’t going to last either. We weren’t compatible and she was too young and immature.

It still hurt though. And everything was exactly same but it was in a different time era I think she would have handled it better. Social media and dating apps has conditioned society to treat others as “expendable” especially if you are a man. Once someone has no longer finds value in you then it’s easy to unfriend / block. The idea of giving some one closure and respect when moving on is a relic of the past.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 yeah sometimes we don’t want to see things early on. We offer excuses, justifications, and rationalize even the most shitty behavior. Because people see the good in someone and project themselves into them.

That’s not even to say that someone is ALL bad in some cases. But at the same time if someone displays that behavior they’re not ready for a relationship.

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 and yes it does hurt but it can also show peoples true colors. If someone acts one way online and another to your face.

Somewhere or another…. They’re lying. People will generally mask more when face to face pretend to be nice and follow social norms.

Online…. There are less consequences for shitty behavior. So somewhere or another you’re seeing the real them. How they really think and feel about you…

[Summeroflove]

@blueonblack22 it’s also a lot of narcissists have shown their true colors. People don’t have to pretend to be nice anymore.

[HawkPerception]

Yeah it bothers me. It's annoying because I know it's not realistic to hold others to your standards, but I never ghost anyone. I let them know straight up if I'm no longer interested and why. Rather than keep me in the dark I'd rather someone told me why they stopped being interested.

[jennifer_bloom]

I do not get ghosted very often, because I can usually detect if somebody is not emotionally close to me so, it is very rare that I will have the expectation of close respect and empathy and then be disillusioned by their sudden removal, but I have been ghosted twice, that I am aware of, by people I trusted, and never suspected would just cast me aside one day.

[lilBigPotato]

It very much depends on the relationship with have. If it's a friend or more then it would very much bother me. Some random person online.. Don't care

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I love diving into these juicy topics! Being ghosted is like waking up from a sweet dream to find out your ice cream melted. It feels cold and confusing, doesn’t it? But hey, it's a modern-day dating hurdle we all face. Just remember, lovebombing and ghosting say more about the ghost than the ghostee! Keep shining and don’t let those ghostly maneuvers dim your sparkle! 😉✨

[Finchie40]

I think it’s rude and disrespectful that someone can be that ignorant and disrespectful , but it’s really no skin off my back , I just know to move on and not look back

[OneViewpoint]

Given the reality of the internet and texting these days, no ghosting is not shocking to me and while it would make me lower my my opinion of the person, I'd just block them and move on. There is little point in challenging someone who makes a choice like that to get what... some bullshit excuse? Nah, not worth my time. Next...

[CherryLove007]

@OneViewpoint I am on the same page as you. I feel that it's perfectly fine if they go away silently then it shows we would never be a match and they have no brass balls. lol

[DonaldDarko]

Not once you kind of understand people. Everyone is looking for something unique to them. They'll run around all over the place looking for what ever it is they think they want. They don't really get much attached to other people in the process.

[Zack-Bann]

If it comes out of nowhere after we both invested our time and energy in a date then yes


If it’s after a few messages that didn’t lead to anything then I don’t really care

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for being ghosted unfortunately it happens & when it happens I look at the bright side of things. I look at it like the person is doing me a favor.

[Anonymous]

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[DryGermanGuy]

Wrong number, ma’am. 🤭

[Still-alive]

tf? lol what does this have to do with ghosting?

[blueonblack22]

I once had a woman ghost me after 9 months of dating after a single minor argument. Not kidding.

[CherryLove007]

Not anymore, because in truth we would never have been a match beyond the surface. 🍒 However it can be unfriendly and classless.

[dragoblack]

I get why they do it, because of guys that can't handle rejection and will go from compliments to berating insults at the flip of a switch, but i do find it personally rude to not just tell me you're not interested and leave. I dont compliment bomb, which is a sign of those kind of guys, i literally just try to have a genuine conversation to get to know them.

[MikeTheBartender]

In the past yes, now at age 44 years old, I don't mind it all. It's not worth the drama, they want a ghost me whatever.

[Still-alive]

it does if i actually cared about them. but fuck it. they wanna be immature like that instead of ending things directly then they weren't much of a good friend after all.

[Ferngully2000]

Yep it definitely bothers me. I would rather someone be real and say the truth no matter how hurtful than be hurt more not knowing.

[MannMitAntworten]

No. I appreciate those who filter themselves out. Saves me the trouble of breaking things off with them.

[red-lipstick-girl]

If it's someone I love, yes, I would be upset if communication stopped.

[dislikesmath]

Probably I've been there but way worst have happened to me, id would just let it go I try me best anyway.

[airaM2000]

Yes, I find it disrespectful that my aunt did this to me when I was 8. We were supposed to go to the beach at 4, I arrived at 3, I got to my aunt early. I haven’t spoken to her since.

[LiamJHayden]

No. Too many decent people in the world for me to worry about that.

[Jltakk]

It was honestly the cruelest thing I've ever endured. Just tell me that you aren't interested so we're not wasting each others time.

[YourExLover69]

In online world been victim of this dozens of time 😒😒 it does bother me people are immature in online world unfortunately.

[Phoenix98]

If I get ghosted by someone I care about or like then yes.

[MariaEve]

I’ve never seen a ghost before, so I don’t know if it’ll bother me or not

[Anonymous]

Nah, I just call GhostBusters ;)

[Spencer10]

I just consider it rude and move on.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

nah, its good riddance either way

[mistixs]

Depends

[ChooChooHaha]

Yes. It's cheap bullshit.

[In_Trance]

No

It's the cost of doing business

[beefcakebradybatson]

As a lad, I watched "Casper, T

[beefcakebradybatson]

As a lad, I watched "Casper, The Friendly Ghost."

[Isisixa]

Nope.

[foxsquirrell]

Obviously.