Do you believe in the avoidant attachment theory or do you believe the guy/girl is just not interested in that person?

[Anonymous]

Thought?

[DishLady]

There’s something to the avoidant attachment theory — which is impossible to break through bc basically the person wants nothing to do with you whenever you make yourself available to them then chase you when you try to make your life without them. That’s toxic and controlling.

[MrChinaski]

I agree with everything but the label. What you described is not avoidant attachment theory.

[MrChinaski]

Attachment theory is mainly about childhood development, particularly the relationships with primary care givers at the time, which can have lifelong implications in terms of how adults relate, particularly in intimate settings.

But... my experience is that you can tie yourself in knots discovering categories to place people in. You are talking about personality here which, by definition, doesn't change much most of the time. And besides the same behaviours can be present in different official psychological disorder buckets.

But more importantly:

1. You convince yourself someone has a particular disorder. So what are you going to do with that? You can't change them.

2. You convince yourself the person is just not interested in you. Well you can very rarely do anything to change that.

So don't waste your time on things you can't control.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

The problem with such theory is just not about belief, I'd also have to use it in the proper context. Otherwise, I'm certainly going to misuse it, because such concepts are made for therapists and patients. So I'd rather NOT project this theory on anyone

[HollyK21]

I agree with Spartan, it’s just another excuse to be noncommittal.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the magic of psychology in relationships keeps us all on our toes! Avoidant attachment theory? Totally a thing! Some folks might seem distant due to their past experiences. But also, sometimes a person just isn't that into someone, and it's not any deeper than that. Spotting the difference involves checking out the context and patterns. Whether it's a lovebomb or a subtle ghost, relationships are all about navigating these nuances. Remember, never chase someone who’s only worth a run! 😉

[spartan55]

It another bullshit buzzword that gets used as an excuse to avoid reality.

[Noredcarpet]

Yes I do, I have seen it from one generation to the next. It is not only effecting the romantic relationship it effects all.

[Nikki1989]

Nah, not at all. It is just another petty excuse people use.

[UrLoveMocha]

I believe it to some degree, but I also believe two things can be true at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I think both can be true. Though if someone really isn’t interested in you they won’t date you even once.

[In_Trance]

Not interested