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Do women need words of affirmation more than men in relationships, or is the need for verbal appreciation equal across genders?
Do phrases like “I love you” and other emotional affirmations matter more to women, or do men need them just as much?
I love words of affirmation.. it makes me feel connected and close to the person I love..
Guys honestly don't get complimented often, so we appreciate all words of affirmation. As for who needs it more, it depends on person to person, due to past trauma, and personality. My opinion, it should be equal effort.
Definitely
propaganda. males do not want to be loved.
I think so. Women need more than men in the general sense to feel loved and appreciated.
That’s exactly what I thought of when I asked the question.. I was thinking that we are sensitive creatures who love love and to be loved.. but the answers turned to attack against women 😄
A lot of guys on this site and social media in general are angry, bitter and frustrated with women.
Anything to attack women or make something out of nothing. Screw them.
Maybe.. yeah
My aim on GAG is to decode love, crush the confusion, and save you from unnecessary heartbreaks 💋
Words of affirmation are not a “woman thing” or a “man thing” – they’re a love language thing. Some men crave “I’m proud of you” and “I love you” just as deeply but hide it because of ego and social conditioning.
You loving affirmations means emotional intimacy is your fuel, not a weakness. Total green flag.
Opinion
33Opinion
Men and women equally value affirmation from the people they care most about. However, boys and men are socialized to go without affirmation as a matter of masculinity. Expressing “need” is weakness and ours is a society with no place for weak men.
Women are socialized to expect and even demand affirmation, and to feel free punishing those who don’t abide their need for it. In this way, it only appears that women need affirmation more.
If men weren’t punished for expressing it the way women do, it would quickly become obvious that men need and want affirmation just as much as women.
I think everyone wants words of affirmation. For me it's pretty up there on my love languages.
This is a list of words of affirmation that hit home and really make me appreciate my partner a ton...
These are nice phrases for sure 😊
I think everyone likes that but its also in the moment any moment like walking up behind you pulling your hair to the side pulling to tight against then and as his lips touch your neck softly he whispers something to you
That’s a nice description to the moment 😄
I'm not sure if it's more of female thing to want words of affirmation but for me honestly physical touch and quality time come before it. I appreciate words of affirmation but I don't need it to feel loved or appreciated.
Though I will say I used to need it a lot when were together but I learned that that isn't the most important love languages in our dynamic. Physical touch and quality time are.
Of course… but I feel words could also help especially if the two people are not together all the time
That's so true. It does.
Everyone can use way more affirmation than they let on...
If men needed words of affirmation like women do, the vast majority of men would have killed themselves long ago.
Most women get compliments regularly - several per week if not several per day. Most men get almost zero compliments or appreciation of WHO they are - if we do get a compliment, it's because of what we have done - we have to supply labor or solve an important problem to get any kind of recognition, and often it's only the most surface-level acknowledgement, no matter how much we did or sacrified.
There have been a bunch of "trans men" (i. e., women who have lived as men) who have written about their experiences, and one of the most common themes among their writing is that they quickly realize that no one cares about them, no one compliments or affirms them, and that the lives of men who lack a relationship partner is very solitary. They've been used to living as a woman, and being given constant affirmations, and now, living as a man, those have completely disappeared, and many are devastated by it, though many don't want to acknowledge it because it's a bad look for women.
Most men could tell you the last *personal* compliment they received. They might even know the date, and they definitely know the context. If some woman complimented his shirt, even 15 years ago, he still has that shirt, and he has confidence when he wears it, even if it was just a throw-away compliment, because men get so few that any compliment is a big deal. If a girl complimented his cologne or his haircut, he will wear that cologne or haircut for decades. Now, obviously this doesn't apply to the top 1% of guys, who get compliments constantly, or the next 9% who get them in rapidly reducing frequency - I'm talking about the lower 90% of men, who almost never get them.
If, somehow, a woman magically appeared as a man of equal attractiveness as she is as a woman, but everyone saw her as male, she would feel absolutely invisible and excluded and exiled and would probably be suicidal within a couple of weeks. Yes, of course, there are exceptions to this too - you have a very small percentage of women who live in very small towns or rural areas and who don't normally get a lot of attention just because of their circumstances and don't notice because they never got that attention, but the vast majority of women who are urban or suburban and grew up with lots of people around are used to a constant barrage of attention, and cannot live without it.
The vast majority of men have always lived without it.
There’s some truth in what you’re saying.. many men do get fewer personal compliments. But the idea is a bit exaggerated
Men often get appreciation for what they do, while women get more comments about how they look. Men also tend to compliment each other less, which adds to the feeling of not being noticed. A lot of the attention women get also isn’t always positive and can be unwanted or uncomfortable.
So yes…many men feel emotionally overlooked, but it’s not as simple as women getting constant affirmation while men get none..
I don't know which women you are talking about 🤷🏻♀️
“I remember” is more romantic than “I love you.” It’s one thing to say it, it’s another to show it. They remember your favorite flowers and buy a bouquet without you asking, or they remember you don’t like flowers as a present so they give you a treat from your favorite restaurant. Or they know how much you love to hear the words “I love you” and frequently tell you. Knowing and remembering enough about your partner to know what they could use most during a hard day, or the best way to comfort them when you’re both home alone. These things matter, and women tend to take up this pattern more often than men from what I’ve seen. Men lack a certain awareness on average, not because they don’t want to but because no one taught them to think of anyone else’s needs in the same way that women are taught to so they tend to fall behind without express education from their partner, the issue is when it becomes a blanket showing, that they perform the same actions to mostly positive results and then assume those kinds of actions or gifts are universal to all women and not just those they choose to date.
m "Words of affirmation", "emotional affirmations" ? English can sound really weird when it tries to talk about feelings. Sounds like military, academics or corporate lexicon 😂
Can't we call that sweet words instead? Wouldn't it sound much more fitting instead of this cold and distant affirmation stuff, I hate that idiom, blah.
I don't know what men want, I don't know what women want.
I want cuddles and sweet words, she wants that too, any prior girlfriend from the past 25 years wanted that too. That's what I know and that's what matters to me. That's my affirmation.
Laughed at “Sounds like military, academics or corporate lexicon “😄
Men require much less affirmation from women. The type we need is also different. Better then I love you to a man would be something like.. I can't do this and I need your help followed by a thank you I couldn't have done it without you when its over.
Yeah, I am kinda of curious about that yeah
Honestly the best compliment a man can get from a woman is nothing. We get all the negative from work from kids from life. Most men could paint the mona lisa and still only hear that she has no eyebrows. Most men when with a woman make every decision based on what they think would be best for that woman. So if we do something and hear nothing negative that is a compliment.. add in a good job that is exactly what I wanted and you hit the home run.. We know we are loved when we are loved.. women show love very clearly when they love you we don't need to hear it.. we hear it with every coffee you bring out to the garage when we are working late on something and with every extra chicken nuggie you take off your plate and put on ours.
I think it’s more so females. Like sure as a man you’d like to hear it, but we’re not going to get emotional in most cases if she doesn’t say it. Men don’t get a lot of the things women do as far as praise, compliments, etc. Over time it’s just become normal. Most men understand ain’t no one coming to save us, if we want something done we need to get up and do it regardless of how we feel. A large marketing men aren’t in relationships, if we needed affirmation all the time like women a lot of us would have ended our lives a long time ago. I’m not controlled by my emotions in most cases, so I don’t need that affirmation. Honestly that affirmation comes from myself by completely said radio whatever it is I’m trying to do. But from others no I don’t need it.
I think women do need to be reminded of who has their back and is supporting more than men. Men are conditioned as boys to be independent. They didn't get the reverse feminism lessons of the last few generations to make them become different to convention because they are still needed to do all the dirty, dangerous and demanding roles to keep people in power there and for everyone else to keep their food, fuel, shelter, water, and power flowing.
Women need validation and affirmation constantly. A guy can go 30 years with nothing and never complain. Women will never know what we’re feeling. Or even think to ask.
Not all of them like that.. believe me
all males do is complain.
@heruncommonsense ,
LOL, you have no idea child.
Personally , I need it.
I probably need it more than physical affection and quality time. I always have so much going and life can get overwhelming sometimes. In moments of self doubt, encouraging words from my partner can be motivating. It changes my perspective knowing that I have support.
Doesn't everyone?
However, women don’t universally need words of affirmation more than men. But it can look that way because men and women are often socialised differently. This is a reality many immature men never come to terms with.
"Love you" tends to become noise words I think and perfunctionary cheek kisses also.
It is quite different if your partner is pleased you are back home and shows that. Better if it is demonstrative rather than obligatory noise on both sides I think.
I do believe so but I've noticed women who are getting affirmative words are still never happy
Why do you think so
Although i like words of affirmation i definitely prefer quality time and touch more. Not sure if this is really a gender thing though
And you don’t like affirmative words during those quality times? 😊
Sure thats amazing too but for me its more about her presence and our shared moment together. I can also just enjoy quiet moments with her too.
Ah.. ok 😊
I think it's rather personality dependent than depending on gender.
Good point..
I think women are more influenced by what a man says but men are more influenced by what a women does.
Maybe so
😀
...
The fact is, no matter HOW MUCH you affirm your love for a woman, or HOW MUCH you adore her, or HOW MUCH you NEVER look at another woman, she will ALWAYS believe you will cheat on her. That's how insecure women really are.
Why everyone attacking women now 😄
It's not an attack, it's a behavioral observation. It's a RARE woman who will believe a man will not ever cheat on her even when he's NEVER given her a reason to believe he would. It's not an attack, it's a FACTUAL observance of behavior.
A lot of women are the opposite tbh
You'll never convince most men of that. Never. Again, behavioral history.
males admit that they never turn down sex. all males cheat.
@heruncommonsense You're 18 years dealing with males in your age group and what, slightly older? There comes a time where men will indeed turn down sex for one reason or another.
that's not true, and i don't want a used male. it doesn't matter if he stopped being a slut. if he isn't a virgin, he isn't worthy off me.
@heruncommonsense So let's understand this... just so I'm certain.
1) Any male who is NOT a virgin is "unworthy" of your unsullied self, sexually speaking, is that correct?
2) What if he was previously married and he either got divorced, or perhaps his wife past away?
a) Is that an acceptable exception, or are divorced men or widowers unworthy of you as well?
3) What if YOU were married young and your own husband passed, or divorced you, or you divorced him (please don't say you would never get a divorce)? What if that were the case and down the road you wanted to re-marry? Should your potential love interest find YOU unworthy because you've been with another man?
I'd really like to hear your responses to all of these questions. Thanks.
1: Yes. I am a virgin, why would I settle for someone who is beneath me?
2: Not my problem. I'm a virgin. Males don't want to settle for a divorced woman, why should I settle for a used male?
3: That would never happen, because male virgins do not exist, so I will never date. Even if that did happen, I would have to settle for a used male.
@heruncommonsense
You didn't really answer all the points.
You claim that "males don't want to settle for a divorced woman". Bullshit. You're 18 years old and don't know what you're talking about. Men marry previously married women all the time.
So basically, no one is worthy of you except virgin men, because they don't exist, so you will never date.
I think you've made an extremely wise decision, both for yourself and for any male who might ever think to get involved with you. Well done!
males only marry divorced women if no one else will marry them.
males should be punished for their sluttiness. you sleep around, yet demand respect. you should be castrated by the state.
@heruncommonsense You are best to be alone for the rest of your life, or to be with a woman who hopefully won't cheat on you. Who gives a fuck what a slutty man demands?
Males marry who they want, girlie. Doesn't matter if they're divorced or not.
Thank you for staying single.
Males do not want to marry. Loyalty is a female trait.
@heruncommonsense Strictly a female trait? Hmmm... then explain all the men in history who have been loyal to their Queen or King, or knights who literally created the entire realm of chivalry that you so crave?
While you're at it, we know that 32% of men ADMIT to having extramarital affairs, so the number is really about 47%. We also know that 17% of women ADMIT to having extramarital affairs That means the actual number is about 30%.
Loyalty is not a female "trait"; it's simply about 15 to 20% more prevalent in females than males. Some guy cheated on you, and you got hurt. Yeah, we know the story. Now you hate all males. You're 18. That's what guys your age do. Get over it, or don't.
males are not loyal, they just say they are, my boy. chivalry never existed. males admit that they never turn down sex, they just don't tend to say it to their wives' faces.
i'm a virgin, stop projecting. you are literally admitting that all 18 year old males are sluts, and you expect women to tolerate it. imagine if women bragged that all 18 year old women cheat.
all males are the same, regardless of age. males brag about their inability to grow up.
@heruncommonsense "chivalry never existed" As I said in previous posts, you don't know what you're talking about. You're a child using child logic. Chivalry never existed? Seriously? Hmmm, now you're just better off being silent and thought a fool, than opening your mouth and removing all doubts.
You gather your facts from 18-21 year old men and you think you understand "men". You need to grow up. Desperately.
Women for sure, i think that a girl would like to hear the "i love you" every hour, "you're beautiful" every 15 minutes... etc 🤣🤣
Maybe…😄
We both know that it's not a maybe miss selOOna 😁
Mmm, your ass is fat! No baby you're not fat just your.. I didn't say that! Well fine to you too! Look honey I'm sorry. Yes I mean it! Really you're going to bring my friends into this? Come out of the bathroom so we can talk about this.
Yeah. I've heard it explained that compliments to a woman are like trying to fill a strainer. Where as, compliments to man are like filling a bowl. Some will evaporate over time, but there's usually some in the bowl.
It just depends on what the person's love language is. But I think most people, men or women, enjoy words of affirmation. It's definitely important to me.
i think it's based on the individual not their gender
Not from my male viewpoint.
I love to know that I'm loved.
In woman's defense it must be exhausting being confused all the time
Not sure... I think both want them, we just react differently to them.
Yes they do cause women have a lot more going on inside there head than men do
Yeah.. I feel we are overthinking stuff sometimes
Women do overthink things sometimes but that not always a bad thing
Might depend on the "love language" of the individual. (ref Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages).
No. Men and women feel the same. Women are just conditioned to get words of affirmation whereas men are not. Women rely on it out of habit, while Men know no one gives a 💩.
Likely, but a man should hear "Attaboy!!!" or "Great job, boy!!!" after clubbing his broad.
Seems like it, although I hardly ever got recognition for much when in a relationship
males hate words of affirmation. males want to be feared, not loved.
No - women need and demand this far more than men do.
Considering women's attention seeking behavior and nature, yeah it's true.
Like treat an effeminate boys consentient as a slave or a object?
How where when
...
It's important to me, so I would imagine it's not as much gender driven as it is individually driven.
Women need absolute constant affirmation.
no I think its a tossup.
I’m not sure. I know I need them.
I think women need it more
Usually
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