Am I wrong for asking my girlfriend about how she got infected?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend had a falling out with a toxic friend group of hers and they tried to lie to me about her cheating. I obviously questioned my girlfriend and she denied everything and since there was proof of her innocence, I believed her (I believe one of her ex friends made a post about the same thing here?). Anyways, we were casually talking and I asked her about a UTI she got earlier. She said she got it because of using poorly cleaned washrooms in her college and I said "okay, if u say so". She then caught on that I was implying she got it through... Contact, but after that it escalated and she said far worse stuff. I told her I was just being honest about my thoughts and that the argument wouldn't have happened if she has just given a simple yes or no answer and just reassured me instead of fighting. Was I wrong for saying that?

[ohsheeT]

Maybe in stead of saying if you say so you could have said how long have you been wearing your panties for or you could have said how long has it been since you have taken a shower

Or you might as well just have said so who's the guy with the dirty dick

I mean you might as well have that's what you basically said anyway

I'm not 100 sure but I don't believe that is STD I believe that's caused from not taking care of yourself down there

So you probably owe her an apology since you have no proof of anything else

And you should never accuse anybody of anything if you don't know the truth because it's just not right to accuse her of that if you don't have proof


And as her friend how did they know anyway but friendships that end usually just go away but when they get involved with something like this it's meant to hurt the other person and if that person spreading rumors that's even more bullshit



So it went from something that you had no clue about to now something deeper that you don't trust her

And if you don't trust her you shouldn't even be with her you're just as bad as the guy that did her if that's the case
Because you're just using her any best not be doing a very good job if she went out with some other guy so it all started out to be about her but now it's all about you


Well good luck that you do owe her an apology and if she did something then that apology will just probably somehow hurt her maybe but that's okay but if you're going to do it do it from your heart not your mouth

[Master_Debator]

You're stating the obvious... Leave the relationship unless you really want to be a part of all this "Infected with excuses" stuff.

This is coming from a personal place that I had to deal with. I got infected with chlamydia. Chick I was with had the medication on hand for it. I found paperwork where she got it for me and some other guy. Planned parenthood at work here.

Like a dumbass I felt I had no proof she cheated, but isn't it obvious? I wasn't cheating... just out of nowhere? Already together for years and then a virus that takes 30 days to show it's face shows up all of a sudden. I beleived her.

Years later while she was drunk she admitted it was probably that Mexican guy... couldn't even provide a name for him.

So... you can be stupid like I was and deal with it... or you can re-read what I just wrote and realize you're not with a good chick at all.

[SueShe]

AI states the following about UTIs gotten from an unclean washroom:

It is highly unlikely to get a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) directly from sitting on a dirty toilet seat. UTIs are caused by bacteria, usually E. coli from your own body, entering the urethra, not from surface contact. While germs exist in restrooms, they rarely survive long enough on seats to cause infections.

Thus, her statement is probably wrong albeit not not totally impossible. I would probably not believe that statement myself.

If you are having sexual intercourse with a person that got infected with UTI, then not only is it correct to ask that question but it is actually a good thing to do because you don't want to get infected yourself.

Quote source: internet

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Rarely do i ever agree with the AI, but in this case it nailed the answer 100%.

Uti's can happen for lots of reasons. Hell, it could happen from not wiping correctly as an example. You are free to be suspicious and even ask if you feel you can't trust her, but then that's more a question of you than it is of her. You ask and that's already opening a can of worms in the relationship, you keep pestering about it and the relationship might as well be over.

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to help people untangle messy love drama without losing their minds or their hearts 💘

You weren’t wrong for being curious, but you were wrong for how you handled it. UTIs are super common and not proof of cheating at all. Saying “okay, if you say so” came off as accusing and passive-aggressive. That’s a low-key red flag.

If you trust her, own that you hurt her feelings, apologize, and tell her you believe her. If you don’t trust her, that’s the real issue, not the UTI.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

A uti can be from many sources. Yes sexual contact is one, but spermicides, having a diaphragm or using some perfumes, body lotions etc can also spread the bacteria.

She can even have went to clean herself wrong and spread the bacteria herself in the bathroom.

Jumping to her cheating or getting it from sex might be stepping too far without the right information.

If she has diabetes, or holds her urine for long stretches of time because she's busy could cause them Even if she isn't drinking enough water, but drinks sodas, etc

Due to their anatomy women are more susceptible to getting a uti.

[236color]

UTIs are not a sexually transmitted disease. Sexual activity can sometimes be a contributor but is certainly not required. Female anatomy just makes women prone to UTIs. It can happen if she does everything right. You owe an apology for assuming this had anything to do with her being unfaithful.

[RavVid]

UTI's aren't STD's so I think it was naive of you. She probably does not wipe right.

Difficult situation because an innocent partner will react the same way as a guilty partner - with anger and denial.

Ex friends will tell on the former friend but also make stuff.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yeah, you were. UTIs happen for any number of reasons. If you don’t use a condom while having sex, it very well might have come from you and your poorly cleaned dick. She’s not cheating on you.

[Asker]

How can u be so sure? And this argument wouldn't have been so dragged out if she'd just reassured me

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think if you’re that insecure in your relationship that you can’t believe your girlfriend got a bacterial infection just because she didn’t wash her hands, you shouldn’t be together

[Agape93]

Uh yeah. UTI happen. If you don't trust her, just leave her. Because otherwise you could easily be calling someone innocent an untrustworthy, dirty whore, based on a medical issue. And how do you think that'll pan out for your relationship?

[Staximus]

The UTI is not an STD, dumbass. And she's full of shit because girls don't get UTIs from "dirty washrooms". They get it from not washing their pussy before sex or from riding a dirty dick.

[Staximus]

She got so mad and defensive because she's guilty,

[Staximus]

She most likely did cheat on you

[beefcakebradybatson]

No. H**l, you should ponder leaving her because you don't need to be like Kid C**K, I mean, Kid ROCK and have four STIs, all of which he caught from his then-wife Pam Anderson.

[exitseven]

Sometimes people get UTIs for no apparent reason.

[Abbycado]

UTI's don't equal cheating.

[Asker]

I was just being honest about what I thought to prevent any future resentment.

[Abbycado]

Yeah but the "okay, if you say so" is basically telling her you don't believe her. Seeing that you obviously have a trust issue, warranted or not, this isn't going to end well.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong at all.

[foxsquirrell]

Not at all.