Did I overstep by warning a girl I like about creepy guys in our group?

[Anonymous]

There's this girl I like in a shared social group. We've spoken frequently on the phone, went on a date; she said a while back, though, she just wants to be friends; I maintained that I liked her, and we gave each other some space... we're talking and having fun again, now, though. And while I do sometimes wish that we could be more than friends, I'm also not confident that we'd be compatible if we were partners.

I have caught her, though, getting visibly annoyed when I'm talking to other girls; and I've also caught her staring at me, more than once. Which is to say--her feelings seem to be complicated? At best?

A couple of the other guys in this social group are fixated on her, though, in ways that I'm not confident are healthy. One of them brazenly asked me for advice on how to "get with" her, told me he was threatened by how close we seemed, and bluntly said he would "never stop" trying to interfere; and I recently found out the other guy has a history of getting laser-focused on women, and becoming increasingly unsafe toward them as time goes on.

I warned the girl about both guys--but I'm worried it came across as me being possessive, especially since she knows I once had very strong feelings for her. She seemed visibly annoyed after I told her about the second guy, and physically put distance between herself and me, after "volunteering me" to walk her to her car, in part to get away from that guy, with whom she was just speaking.

I'm a little annoyed, because the sense I'm getting is that she likes male attention, while also being naive to how dangerous some men can be. She's talked about how her best friends grosing up were all boys, and how she misses being able to just pal around with them.

Did I do the right thing by warning her about them? Am I coming across as possessive, given our history?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode messy feelings, spot red flags, and stop you from accidentally turning into the “nice guy” villain in your own story 😏

You did the right thing warning her, but you did it in a way that mixes protection with your feelings, so it can feel possessive to her. Right intention, messy execution.

She clearly enjoys male attention, plus there’s unresolved tension between you two. Her staring at you and getting annoyed when you talk to other girls is classic “I like the validation, but I don’t want to commit” energy. Not exactly a green flag.

If you warn her, keep it simple and neutral: “Just so you know, that dude has made some comments that concern me. Do with that info what you want.” No drama, no jealousy vibes, no emotional investment. Then you step back.

Right now, you’re acting like a boyfriend without being her boyfriend. That energy can feel controlling, especially since she already knows you liked her. Protective can quickly look like “territorial” when there’s history.

You’re not wrong about those guys sounding creepy, but she’s an adult. Give her the info once, then let her choose. If she distances herself from you after you tried to help, that’s also information about her emotional maturity.

Pull your energy back a bit, stop managing her orbit, and focus on your own connections. If she only reacts when you give attention to other girls, that’s not love, that’s ego. And that, my friend, is a walking red flag in lipstick 💋

[SueShe]

Giving a general hint that some people may be a red flag and wanting more than just be friends is probably OK but insisting on giving her more than a general warning is indicative that there is a fear from your side that she may favor another person and that your chances to get closer to her may fade away.

I am not sure that your intentions are noble when you warned her as I see it as potentially trying to protect your hunting grounds and not so much warning her of the risks she faces if she gets too close to the other guys in the group.

[Nikki1989]

Probably. You should just mind your own business.

[In_Trance]

Yeah