Why do long-term couples suddenly break up after many years together?

[beenherebefore]

I recently found out that two couples I used to look up to broke up after +10 years together. Both couples seemed to be made for each other, lived together for many years, no financial issues and I always thought they would eventually end up getting married and have kids. What other issues could've caused the break up?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode relationship drama so your heart doesn’t get jump-scared later 😏

Long-term couples rarely break up “suddenly”. It’s usually a slow burn: emotional disconnection, unmet needs, lack of communication, resentment, different life goals, sex fading, or one partner quietly falling out of love.

Sometimes it’s cheating.
Sometimes it’s boredom.
Sometimes it’s “we grew up, but not together.”

Looks perfect from outside, but behind closed doors can be full of tiny red flags nobody sees.

[7Phoenix7]

Nah I think by the time long term couples “suddenly” break up, it usually wasn’t sudden to them at all.

It was probably a slow buildup of things they kept private…

• silent resentment
• Emotional distance
• Unmet needs
• Repeat arguments
• Realizing that they wanted different futures

From the outside we only see the cute pictures and the stability… the years together… and the “they seem perfect” version. But sometimes it’s a different story inside the relationship

[beenherebefore]

That's very true. People often portrait being happen in reality we'll never know what's actually happening behind closed doors.

[Ironco]

Totally agree with you.

[Natasha1995]

I agree with everything you said. It's a slow build up. That's why I think we need time by ourselves to get things going. I might add daily routine at work and exhaustion from work. That takes a heavy toll as well.

[TonyMetal___1986]

It could be anything 🤷🏻‍♂️
It might be that someone has cheated...

Long years do not count as an immunity against divorce, what really counts is your beliefs and his beliefs, if both couple believes that their marriage should work at all costs because the word divorce ain't found in their book than their marriage will easily lasts forever, plus if both of you believes in god's teachings than you're both aware on how to treat each other and to never cheat, these are your ingredients to a forever lasting marriage which is immune to having a divorce!

[PeachyPie93]

I think a lot of people put up with a lot from their partner trying to make it work, when they never actually fit together. People just not letting go of something that should have been let go of years before.

[beenherebefore]

If that's the reason that's really hard for me to comprehend how it can take so long for people to take such decisions after wasting so many years of their lives.

[PeachyPie93]

One of the partners sometimes decide they had enough, or it could be one met someone else and think the new person is better.. or over time love fades because they take each other for granted constantly after a few years. Who knows why, just know that love is never guaranteed in this world even with someone you trust 100%..

[Still-alive]

only they would know the true answers. it could be a long time of boundaries crossed, pain felt, issues gone neglected. maybe there was unresolved issues that built up over time and they couldn't overcome it. money issues. its sad and disheartening to learn but ultimately if they had to end it then thats how it be.

[msc545]

Many things can have caused this chronic discontent with the other person but not being willing to make changes for a long time can be part of it. Finding out the other person has been cheating on. You is another reason. Meeting. Somebody else that you decide you want to spend more time with is probably the biggest reason. Most people do not get along with each other well over a long period of time.

[confident666]

It depends on a case to case basis: boredom, deadbedroom, cheating or one of them couldn't commit to marriage.

[Iron_Man]

They’re bored with each other unfortunately and they argue too much and the man is looking for a younger woman

[genericname85]

You can grow apart if you don't make enough efforts to keeping your lives aligned.

[LiamS95]

The few times I've seen this happen has been after 10 to 15 years together one of the partners of the couple in question ends up travelling a lot for business and ends up cheating on the other partner

[Staximus]

There’s an old guy that comes into one of my jobs and he said his wife just threw him out after 58 years, but she might have dementia