Will a single mother choose her love partner or her kids if she can't have both?

[TonyMetal___1986]

For example: if a single mother found a very nice guy who truly loves her, takes good care of her and makes her happy, he was planning to marry her but her kid or kids didn't want him for no specific reason, the mother has to choose one, who will she choose and why?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode messy relationship dynamics… and this one is juicy.

A good mom will always choose her kids. Period. A partner is replaceable, her kids aren’t. If she sacrifices her kids’ emotional safety for romance, that’s a red flag on her, not them.

But… a healthy guy will be patient, build trust, and slowly win the kids over instead of making her “choose.”

[TonyMetal___1986]

🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

[choco-latte]

I think most women would choose their children, it would be very odd to find a woman who didn’t. And I just don’t think any man should trust one who would, because if she doesn’t care for her kids how would she care for or be loyal to him? She is not choosing a man, she is just choosing herself.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Well said miss choco i agree, but if you can see, everyone are focusing on who the mother will choose, but no one focused on the guy...

Like is it fair for the guy to be just dumped like that, only because her kids had refused him 🤷🏻‍♂️

[choco-latte]

Oh I had missed the part where it said that the kids didn’t like him, I thought it just said that he didn’t want to have the kids around. Well no, I don’t think it’s fair. And the woman should be firm with the kids and tell them to respect him like they respect anyone else and try to get them to know each other if she loved him. If she doesn’t do something like this, then I think he should move on because if she really cared she would try to find a balance between both.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Mho secured miss choco, very wise from you 😁👍🏻

[choco-latte]

Oh thanks in advance then 😇

[TonyMetal___1986]

You're welcome 😌

[NathanDavis]

different people value different things... it's not like all of them will make the same choice

both situations (and many other too) can happen... it really depends on the person

why? because people, life and situations are never so simple...

[TonyMetal___1986]

Well said, if the right choice is choosing her kids, but what about the guy? Is it fair that she just dump him because her kids refused him 🤷🏻‍♂️

[NathanDavis]

I don't think it is about "fair or unfair"

we are not entitled to people... if things just don't work for either side, then that's just what it is...

it would be unfortunate, yes... but, just the same... if things in relationship and the current situation change to something that does not work for him... he could "dump her too"

[TonyMetal___1986]

👍🏻👍🏻

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Oh 100% for me it's gonna be my kids if I can choose only one per your question. I've seen your comments on other responses asking if it's fair to the guy, and no, it isn't but when you become a mother, the kids come above all else including ourselves.

Doesn't mean I can't have a talk with them and see why they don't like someone I would bring home, but if forced to pick between them, then the person I brought home would have to go.

[Anonymous]

If she’s normal and a good mother she’ll choose her children. Most women would chose her children. There however are some women, usually they’re sociopaths, pscyhopaths, narcissists or are self-hating doormat people pleasers with zero self esteem and confidence, who would choose the man. The same goes for men. Any normal and good father would chose his children. Always.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I understand and i agree, but do you think that it's fair for the guy to be dumped like that, just because her kids didn't agree about him for no specific reason 🤷🏻‍♂️

[sawno]

Kids always. You don't get between that loyalty and bond. You either accept that isn't your place to get between or you will not last as her partner.

[Iron_Man]

They’re supposed to choose the kids

[TonyMetal___1986]

True, but is it fair for the guy to be just dumped like this for nothing, just because her kids refused him? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Iron_Man]

No, of course not

[TonyMetal___1986]

👍🏻👍🏻

[Iron_Man]

👍..

[Iron_Man]

Maybe you can find a woman that doesn’t have any kids. I know it must be very tough in your country and at your age, but maybe it’s possible and you can start your own family as long as she’s not too old.

[TonyMetal___1986]

My friend the question isn't about me, it's a general question based on a question posted earlier here 😄

[Iron_Man]

Ok. I didn’t know. Sorry.

[TonyMetal___1986]

No worries 🙂

[Iron_Man]

Thank you

[TonyMetal___1986]

You're welcome

[RedInnocent69]

Mothers always choose their kids.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Right, but is it fair for the guy to be just dumped like that, because her kids refused him 🤔

[RedInnocent69]

You can change out the guy, but not the kids…

[TonyMetal___1986]

Still isn't fair for the guy...
Just because he can be replaced, he can be dumped...

[Anonymous]

Mother always chooses her kids.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Why in your opinion?

[Opinion Owner]

Because it's a natural instinct.

[RavVid]

The kids.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I forgot if it's you who posted a similar question and had influenced me to ask it again in my own version 😄

[RavVid]

Nah, it wasn't me

[DirtyOldMan777]

she should choose her kids.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Why? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[DirtyOldMan777]

what is to do? just kick the kids to the curb? and go with him?

[TonyMetal___1986]

Nope, i can understand if she choose her kids over him, but is it fair to hurt the guy and dump him for nothing just because her kids refused him 🤔