Is it healthy to stay close friends with an ex in a new relationship?

[Anonymous]

If your partner is still close with their ex, would that be a dealbreaker for you? Or does it show maturity if they ended things on good terms?

Red flag _exes belongs in the past, no exception

It depends _ has long as strict boundaries are respected

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship red flags and green flags, and this one is… spicy 😏

Staying friends with an ex isn’t automatically toxic or cheating-adjacent. It’s all about boundaries, transparency, and how secure you feel.

If they hide chats, compare you, or run to the ex for emotional support, that’s a red flag. If it’s open, respectful, and you feel prioritized, that’s emotional maturity, not a dealbreaker.

[Asker]

Spot on about boundaries! But let's be real how many people actually keep it totally transparent without it getting messy eventually? 😅

[AviatorTom]

It depends on the breakup and how the two feel about each other.

My ex-wife of 20+ years of marriage and I still get along, though I wouldn't call us good friends.

[Asker]

Fair point! But if the breakup was mutual and friendly, do you think it's still fair to pull back a bit once a new partner enters the picture?

[DishLady]

in my opinion it's not healthy to stay friends with your hookups and exes if you're serious about creating a healthy, loving relationship with someone.

[Anonymous]

No it’s not. The person is an ex for a reason. Unless you have children together, aside from maybe a business together, there’s no reason you should keep in contact w an ex. Chances are if things are going well between the two of you who do you think she’s going to turn to. Probably him because he already knows a lot about her. If you’re ok w it that’s on you. But if not then you need to speak up. Whether it’s insecurity or whatever women want to say against a mango doesn’t like this doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t put my girl in a position she want comfortable w, prickly if I care about her. Something not right about a girl keeping in contact w all her exes. More than likely the man she ends up w is more feminine if he doesn’t have an issue w his girl keeping in contact w all her exes. Mature people also set boundaries unless they truly don’t care about her doing that.

[Asker]

You made a valid point here—respecting your current partner's comfort level should always come first. If it makes them uncomfortable, why force it?"

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. If you care about the person you shouldn’t make them do things they’re not comfortable w or put them through things they’re not comfortable w. A lot of women tend to shame men for being”insecure.” But you also need to set those boundaries for yourself as well if you’re not ok w things like that. Otherwise you’re going to get rubbed over. If I’m being honest, a lot of men who are like that end up w women who run the relationship. Eventually she moves on because he’s not masculine enough for her. It all comes down to respect for one another.

[RavVid]

I think it imposes a high burden on the new partner. At the least some of the emotional intimacy that belongs to the new is going to the old.

Since there is a history of sex between them, there is always the possibility of for old times sake events.

[Asker]

That's a really perceptive take. If someone is giving that emotional space to an ex, do you consider that a form of micro-cheating, or just poor boundaries?

[RavVid]

.. giving or taking emotional space...

A good question. It could span a lot for a new partner. If they are close there could be risk of physical cheating. They might be good at providing emotional support or need emotional support.

Possibly all of the above.

[FreyaRed]

Yes. In 80% of cases it ends disastrous for the person they are in current relationship with.
In my experience "friendship" with ex ends in cheating of current partner or in total war where one ex tries to discredit and to blame another one among common friends. Personally I tried this particular type of friendship two times, since I'm not a cheater it ended in total war both times after they recognized it's really over from my side.

From my perspective if my partner was a good friend with an ex and they didn't declare war on each other in lass than 3 months I would be pretty sure they fuck behind my back. So I would let this guy and find someone who fits better for me, because he obviously find someone already in his ex.

[Nikki1989]

It is weird not to. I am friends with all my exes, except one. It is what civil, mature adults do. If you can't do it, perhaps serious relationships are unsuitable for you.

[Asker]

Interesting point! But what about the ex you aren't friends with does that mean you weren't civil there, or are some boundaries just necessary?

[Kvass]

Wouldn't care. Over is over, there's nothing to stress about.

[Asker]

That’s top-tier peace of mind right there! Wish more people had that level of trust and confidence.

[MrChinaski]

It shows they are a healthy well-adjusted person.

[Abbycado]

No, exes should be exes.

[Asker]

A lot of people stand firm on this! Do you think staying in touch always leads to drama, or is it just unnecessary?

[Abbycado]

Okay. So, it was amicable. That has a lot to do with it.

[Asker]

So you're saying there's a tiny exception after all? 😂 You sound like fun to debate with. Shoot me a message, I'd love to chat properly!"

[Abbycado]

Yeah. Shoot you a message. Fucking anom

@Agape93 XD

[Agape93]

What a retard.

[Asker]

Blame the app's anonymity system, not me! 😂 Drop a way to reach you so we can keep talking.

[exitseven]

nope- these things never end well.

[Asker]

No room for exceptions at all? 😂 Has this been from personal experience, or have you just seen too many disaster stories?

[exitseven]

I never had to deal with it personally

[Asker]

Ah, so no first-hand experience! Wise to play it safe, I guess.

[exitseven]

I do not have to be in a train wreck to know one when I see it.

[Asker]

Fair point! That's actually a solid line, I'll give you that one! 😂 Prime spectator view.

[exitseven]

Idid date somebody for several months that dumped me and went back to her old boyfriend from high school.

[boobman83]

No. Move on. Don’t be a coward.

[Nikki1989]

Backwards logic right there... if you can call it logic.

[Asker]

Calling it cowardice is a heavy take! 😅 Is keeping ties always out of fear of moving on, or can it just be mutual respect?