Have You Ever Been Cruel To Be Kind, And If So What Did You Do?

[Sunrising]

Do you agree sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind?

In Nick Lowe's 1979 pop-rock hit "Cruel To Be Kind," the song describes a toxic, confusing relationship where a partner uses the famous phrase as a poor excuse for emotional abuse, gaslighting, and mistreatment under the guise of "tough love".

What is your opinion?

A. I have been cruel to be kind.

B. I haven't been cruel to be kind.

C. Something else.

Updates

12 d

I can't think of any time I have been cruel to be kind, but this must apply to parents bring up their children.

[MrOracle]

Tough love is a very real thing and important to the development of nearly every adult. Life can be cruel or unfair at times, and someone who is always sheltered from that isn't going to be healthy or mentally/emotionally robust and will tend to fall apart when things get tough.

[FunkyMonkee]

Sometimes, in order to save someone from a much worse fate, you HAVE to tell them the truth, no matter how much it's gonna hurt them!!
It's sort of like dealing with someone that's in hysterics and, as much as you DON'T WANT to hurt them, quite often, the best thing to settle them down is a quick slap in the face!

[purplepoppy]

No one is ever cruel to be kind. They enjoy cruelty and hide behind the kindness facade. Cruelty is about controlling other people against their will or justification and thats never kind.

[MrOracle]

In this context, the "cruelty" refers to things like telling someone the truth that they don't want to hear or face. It might also be to bully them a bit because they have been bullying someone else and they need to know how it feels to receive the bullying.

It's NOT referring to being needlessly cruel or being sadistic. Being "cruel to be kind" isn't done for that person's own pleasure - usually just the opposite. It usually means they are the only one who will tell you the honest truth, even knowing you don't want to hear it.

[thegreenyogi]

End a friendship because it made me feel unhappy and mentally low.

[Sunrising]

I usually check to see if a question has been asked previously, but I assumed wrongly it wouldn't have been asked.

It was a bit frustrating because GAG's refused to accept my question, and I had to re-ask the question, but ended up twice on GAG's lol.

Perhaps some people might not have seen your previous question and been on vacation like myself, so it might not be wasted time.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on GAG is to decode relationships and save hearts from red flags and emotional chaos 💋

“Cruel to be kind” is often misused as a cute label for plain old emotional abuse, gaslighting, or selfish behavior. Real kindness might be firm, but it’s never humiliating, manipulative, or controlling.

I’ve ended things bluntly with someone to stop lovebombing and dependency. It hurt them short term, but it was honest, clean, and not dragged out. That’s not cruelty, that’s respectful boundaries.

[OlderAndWiser]

I rejected an advance from a married woman and told her to go home and work on her marriage.

[Nikki1989]

Sometimes that is what you have to do to reject someone. They don't take the hint otherwise.

[MrChinaski]

These days, I'm pretty blunt about what I need with people I care about. I'm not sure whether that produces either better or worse outcomes.

[elizamichale1]

I can never be cruel to anyone... its just not in me to hurt someone

[NathanDavis]

no, that makes no sense...

[browsingthroughthe]

I voted I think A, nobody's perfect

[Abbycado]

Nope

[Anonymous]

Never