My girlfriend was cheated on before—how can I prove I won’t cheat?

Question

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode love drama and help you not become the next walking red flag 😏

You don’t “prove” it with words, you show it with patterns. Be consistent. Reply when you say you will. Be transparent with your phone and social media without being weird about it. No sneaky flirting, no secretive behavior, no lovebombing then pulling away.

Validate her fears without getting defensive. “I get why you’re scared, but I’m here, and I’m staying.” Then actually stay. Time and consistency are the only real proof.

HollyK21 · Answer

I could be in the minority with this but I don’t feel feel like you should have to prove anything, you’ve done nothing wrong to warrant that. In my opinion, if you feel the need to prove yourself now then you will always find yourself in that position of trying to reassure her due to her past trauma, because she is clearly still struggling with it. I would never encourage anyone to enter a brand new connection when they’re unhealed. Mainly because it isn’t fair for you as an entirely different person, to pay for what someone else did. Especially when you aren’t mutually holding her to the standard.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Stay loyal to her! Give her no reason to distrust you. It's sort of like Stockholm Syndrome where your victim comes to trust you over time. I have bunnies in my yard and, at first, they all think I'm dangerous and will attack them but, once they realize, over time, that I'm NOT going to hurt them, I can walk near them in the yard and they won't bolt, anymore. Eventually, they'll hop right up to me and sniff my shoe or just eat the grass near my feet without flinching. If I feed them, (they seem to like bread), after a few days of this, they'll not only come up on the porch and eat right at my feet but, as soon as I step out onto the porch, they come up to me hoping I'll feed them!
My ex-fiance had a used (and abused) dog, Gina, whose previous master used to beat the shit out of her to the point where, if a man put his hand anywhere near her, even just to pet her or let her smell his hand to show she doesn't need to be afraid, she'd bolt away as if she was about to be hit! After a few weeks of me being around her and playing with her (she LOVED to chase a ball around the house!), she lost her fear of my hand and learned that I'm NOT gonna hurt her and when I showed up to see my girlfriend, Gina would bark her head off and run circles of praise around me for 15 or 20 minutes before my girlfriend could even get close to me for a hug!!

bobalife · Answer

On the contrary of others advices, healing takes place on your own and when you enter a new relationship. I think trust and love takes time to build overtime. Make her feel safe with your honesty, consistency, commitment, and reassurance. She will also need to work on it while you both are together. I wish you both all the best :)

Nikki1989 · Answer

You can't prove anything. Anyone is capable of cheating, but that is not to say everyone will experience it. Have you been honest about everything in the past? If so, that is a good starting point.

lilBigPotato · Answer

You don't and you can't anyway. It needs trust and that should build naturally by being together and getting to know you better.

Anonymous · Answer

you shouldn't have to, either she trusts you or she doesn't, it's not your job to convince her when you've done nothing wrong. that's like applying for a job and having to prove you never robbed a bank before

jahaims · Answer

You don't have to prove anything. If she is too emotionally immature to separate the two things then she isn't ready to date.

Paige2006 · Answer

By not doing it

Mark_Est · Answer

You can't. Cuck problems. Men only date virgins.

doren680 · Answer

You can't actually

My girlfriend was cheated on before—how can I prove I won’t cheat?

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