My girlfriend was cheated on before—how can I prove I won’t cheat?

Question

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

Stay loyal to her! Give her no reason to distrust you. It's sort of like Stockholm Syndrome where your victim comes to trust you over time. I have bunnies in my yard and, at first, they all think I'm dangerous and will attack them but, once they realize, over time, that I'm NOT going to hurt them, I can walk near them in the yard and they won't bolt, anymore. Eventually, they'll hop right up to me and sniff my shoe or just eat the grass near my feet without flinching. If I feed them, (they seem to like bread), after a few days of this, they'll not only come up on the porch and eat right at my feet but, as soon as I step out onto the porch, they come up to me hoping I'll feed them!
My ex-fiance had a used (and abused) dog, Gina, whose previous master used to beat the shit out of her to the point where, if a man put his hand anywhere near her, even just to pet her or let her smell his hand to show she doesn't need to be afraid, she'd bolt away as if she was about to be hit! After a few weeks of me being around her and playing with her (she LOVED to chase a ball around the house!), she lost her fear of my hand and learned that I'm NOT gonna hurt her and when I showed up to see my girlfriend, Gina would bark her head off and run circles of praise around me for 15 or 20 minutes before my girlfriend could even get close to me for a hug!!

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

You don’t have to prove anything, that’s her problem not yours, if she can’t trust you then she isn’t the girl for you period. If you like her and want to be with her , then don’t cheat on her , simple as that, if she keeps assuming You are cheating on her , then you are best to dump her and find yourself a girl that actually trusts you. One thing about insecure partners’ is the fact that they can’t trust you or themselves , and most insecure partners’ are the ones that end up cheating , because most cheaters’ will project their insecurities on to you to make it seem like you are the bad one when really they are the bad one. So if she can’t trust you , you are best to dump her ass and find yourself a girl that does trust you

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

I could be in the minority with this but I don’t feel feel like you should have to prove anything, you’ve done nothing wrong to warrant that. In my opinion, if you feel the need to prove yourself now then you will always find yourself in that position of trying to reassure her due to her past trauma, because she is clearly still struggling with it. I would never encourage anyone to enter a brand new connection when they’re unhealed. Mainly because it isn’t fair for you as an entirely different person, to pay for what someone else did. Especially when you aren’t mutually holding her to the standard.

KBird · Accepted Answer

You can't... at least in a way that's fair to you.

I think with time, etc. you can prove to her that you are loyal and won't hurt her. She's going through trauma and is probably going to be triggered easily. But it's also not fair to you for her to expect you to not ever talk to any girls (work colleagues, friends, etc.). She's going to have to learn how to re-trust, and unfortunately that will take time.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode love drama and help you not become the next walking red flag 😏

You don’t “prove” it with words, you show it with patterns. Be consistent. Reply when you say you will. Be transparent with your phone and social media without being weird about it. No sneaky flirting, no secretive behavior, no lovebombing then pulling away.

Validate her fears without getting defensive. “I get why you’re scared, but I’m here, and I’m staying.” Then actually stay. Time and consistency are the only real proof.

AviatorTom · Answer

You can't prove anything. You must earn her trust. Don't do anything to lose her trust, and do everything you cancan to gain her trust as a faithful committed lover.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

You can’t. If she’s holding you responsible for the behavior of her exes, then you should leave her and give her time to sort through her baggage.

DishLady · Answer

Aaaaaah. You can’t. You can just love her.

OneViewpoint · Answer

You can't prove you won't cheat. That's her problem to get past. You can't "fix" her fears and beliefs. And many women have a real problem letting go of their past and moving on in life. Hence why you hear a lot of men saying that women in their mid to late 30's are "ruined" and they prefer to date women in their early to late 20's. For some reason, a lot of women prefer to wallow in the misery of their past for the rest of their lives rather than letting go for their own sake. I watched that play out with both my sisters and no amount of logic ever made a difference.

Tamera952 · Answer

Short answer: You can’t. You’re paying the price for her bad history and experience unfortunately. Her not believing you, or projecting her skepticism on you, is her problem alone. You don’t owe her any proof or reassurances. Her insecurity is her problem alone.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Kinda hard to prove anything but just prove to her that you're as loyal as possible. And as much as I hate the "can't be friends with the opposite sex" thing if it's that big a deal to her maybe limit contact with other women, or at least till she fully trusts you? I dunno, I don't really know what I'm talking about lol.

bobalife · Answer

On the contrary of others advices, healing takes place on your own and when you enter a new relationship. I think trust and love takes time to build overtime. Make her feel safe with your honesty, consistency, commitment, and reassurance. She will also need to work on it while you both are together. I wish you both all the best :)

Nikki1989 · Answer

You can't prove anything. Anyone is capable of cheating, but that is not to say everyone will experience it. Have you been honest about everything in the past? If so, that is a good starting point.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

By being honest and consistent in good behavior.

You can't control people's thoughts and hurt feelings especially when she's been betrayed in such a horrible way but just try to help her by being honest and open with her so that can slowly build trust with you.

Anonymous · Answer

YOU DON'T!!! You're NOT the problem here. And POTENTIALLY SHE IS.

Does she have a HABIT of choosing cheaters? If so, then YOU'RE the one taking the risk here, not her. You might be the first good decision she's ever made. And if that be the case she might not be smart enough to hold on to you.

Be careful dude.

gasman70 · Answer

time and consistency, otherwise it's simply your history of not cheating and your word. Maybe you have a previous girlfriend that can attest to this. Like all of my previous relationships will all tell you that I never cheated on them.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Well, your future does not exist yet, so there is nothing to prove, or disprove lol, not even to yourself

lilBigPotato · Answer

You don't and you can't anyway. It needs trust and that should build naturally by being together and getting to know you better.

slatyb · Answer

By not cheating. If she's suspicious based on nothing you have done, perhaps she's not ready for a new relationship.

MrChinaski · Answer

You can't. That's work she needs to do. Better that you don't try to take over that work because you can't fix her.

FreyaRed · Answer

Just don't cheat and don't care about her paranoia

Alex-Snow · Answer

Why do you have to prove it. Actions speak louder than words. Just be open and honest with her and obviously do not cheat.

loveslongnails · Answer

You can't. She'd damaged. You live with it, or you don't.

worldscolide · Answer

You can't. If she isn't ready to trust again, she will take it out on you.

Anonymous · Answer

you shouldn't have to, either she trusts you or she doesn't, it's not your job to convince her when you've done nothing wrong. that's like applying for a job and having to prove you never robbed a bank before

AmeaeX · Answer

Never try to prove something like this. If someone asks such a thing then don't.

Anonymous · Answer

tell the bitch since she was cheated on by one guy doesn't mean she will be cheated on again by another guy. if she still feels unsecure, ask her will she ever NOT drive a car again if someone runs into her car one day and have an accident with her?

Kassandra1994 · Answer

Something in her changed it might take her a while to trust any guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Stop talking to girls , unfollow Girls on insta , give her your passwords

Anonymous · Answer

You can't so don't even try. It's not your job to fix her fucked up mindset trust issues let her go see a therapist for that shit

jahaims · Answer

You don't have to prove anything. If she is too emotionally immature to separate the two things then she isn't ready to date.

Paige2006 · Answer

By not doing it

Mark_Est · Answer

You can't. Cuck problems. Men only date virgins.

WhitneySnow · Answer

By not cheating. No other way but time.

exitseven · Answer

By not cheating- easy peasey

NathanDavis · Answer

you can't

genericname85 · Answer

by not cheating.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

By not cheating

doren680 · Answer

You can't actually

My girlfriend was cheated on before—how can I prove I won’t cheat?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How to prove my girlfriend that I am not cheating on her?

My girlfriend was cheated on before—how can I prove I won’t cheat?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How to prove my girlfriend that I am not cheating on her?

We're glad to see you liked this post.