He doesn't wanna celebrate anything, our anniversary?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I's one year is coming up, and I know one year really isn't al that much but we had dated before, broke up saw other people and ended up back with each other. I feel like there's a reason we came back together and the one year thing is a big deal to me. We didn't do ANYTHING for Valentine's day because he said he didn't have money and he doesn't wanna celebrate our anniversary for the same reason. But to me it isn't about money, I'd be happy going for a hike together and either making something for us to eat or getting something cheap...im not hard to please I just want him to care like I do...he got user about this and said well don't get your hopes up...this coming from a guy that told me he is into romance and sometimes he really is romantic...but he's not taking into consideration that this means something to me just because it doesn't to him...

[purple4ever]

Damn girl I know your solution! Get your damn self-respect back! Oh my God are you for reals? I apologize for the pretty mean reality check here but if you had your self esteem back! I guarantee a. the first red flag you could have seen of him *disrespecting you *emotionally abusing of you (if you don't think this is what his doing to you look it up) *not take care of you like you deserve - you should have OPENED YOUR EYES and had said "why the hell did I go back with this guy when I deserve a loving, respectful MAN who will TRY to make things work for us no matter what and take care of him a.k.a. definition of an ALPHA MAN." In other words, you can ask any guy that has taken a girl seriously before and they'll tell you...THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT: a. they would LISTEN to their girls needs and TRY their best to make it happen and work with their girl. b. If your sad and mad and stressed (fill in your feelings of hurt here) he would DEFINITELY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER by trying anything .. massage, watch chick flicks, kiss your forehead and hold you tight until you both hear each others heart beats...damn I think that was more romantic than he has been right now for you, and I'm a girl.

Look, I ended my seven month relationship with a great, awesome, honest guy and guess what? He didn't have money right, and LIKE YOU I didn't care if he couldn't take me out or etc. I just wanted to spend time with him and him to be with me all cuddly and cute, funny, lovey dovey lol well you get the point, so what's my point? Well here it goes, and make sure you listen c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y...4 days before Valentine's day his grandfather died, a month and a half ago his other grandfather from his dad's side had died and he STILL bought me flowers by asking his brother and he DEDICATED TIME to be WITH ME and he called me at eight talk for an hour and mourned later that week his grandfather. That was a lot, I didn't expect him to come up to me with flowers and a card and chill for three hours and him being detailed he picked up something that had meant a lot to both of us not just any flowers he saw but one with a heart shape of glass. Did I ask him to do this?NO! I did the opposite, I NEVER BROUGHT IT UP all I did was be there for him, be there as a friend, cry with him, tell him no matter at what time, day, or what ID BE THERE FOR HIM, guess what, ALL BY HIMSELF he DECIDED to DEDICATE AND LOVE ME no matter how bad things where for him at the moment. Now I'm not trying to say ALL MEN have to do this...no...every guy is himself. But you have to realize something...all men are the same in one thing...they are us except they have a more sexual drive I mean they were born with high levels of testosterone, it not their fault. But what I'm saying here is that if his human, he'll see through your feelings, if he cares he'll do something about it a.k.a. when his free of work he will watch that movie with gummy bears w you or call you for half a day or just sit with you doing nothing.

[purple4ever]

What I'm trying to say here is that all men that really care and love the girl, or one or the other, will dedicate time with you, will respect you, and if they screw up theyll make up for it, they won't let you go easily, they'll be there for you, you will feel like a nice little princess because in their eyes that's what you are and whoever makes their girl feel bad or dares to make her cry,he will kick their as* lol its the truth, you deserve to HAVE THE SAME MUTUAL LOVE you invest if not better!

[Asker]

Sometimes he does treat me awesome, he pretty much lives with me and I normally wake up to him kissing me on the head telling me he loves me act but throughout the day that kinda fades and he doesn't act like that sometimes. He tells me he loves me all the time, has brought me home flowers before at a random time for no special occasion once, he's taken me out to eat, to movies ect. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but I'm trying to figure out if I'm doing something wrong you know?

[purple4ever]

It sounds like excuses because you do wish he could do those awesome random once in a while things CONSTANTLY and guess what your right. He'll do it because he wants to. Now, it all fades away during the course of the day? If that's his way of being than accept it and love him unconditionally if you don't like his way of being than leave him, why? Because its his true colors and if you don't like it you'll start to resent him and he to you. Are you doing something wrong, probably not...

[purple4ever]

but if I were you ID CHANGE THINGS A LITTLE BIT .. meaning...START DOING THE OPPOSITE. Stop telling him what you want and just go do it yourself! He won't celebrate, good, don't be mad though this needs to be done right, meaning you'll go out and celebrate it with your gf's because YOU WANT TOO AND YOU WILL. Stop telling him what you want and just do it yourself, you feel lonely? Hang out w guy and girlfriends, feel sad? Tell someone else, see if he starts wanting to know and do something of it.

[DeepBlue]

You say you love him, so I guess he must have some good qualities that don't come across in your question, because he seems like a selfish jerk to me. You are putting a lot more into this relationship than you are getting out of it. He's not supportive of anything you do, he just tries to make you feel guilty for wanting basic things from him. I think one year with this guy is more than enough.

[Asker]

He does have some good qualities, he gets along with my family which is a big thing to me and when he wants to he is a great guy, he can be really sweet and fun to be around, he helps me out giving me rides and does buy me food, and I kinda feel maybe he's being this way because I don't have a job and am not contributing?

[Anonymous]

Skipping Valentines day is a good idea, I think. Anniversary, he should do something. Nothing major because if he sets a precedent, you'll be expecting him to top it from then on. It becomes an argument years later.

You've expressed your thoughts on how important this is to you, right?

[Asker]

I don't need or want anything big..like I said just going on a hike or walk would be enough and yes I've expressed.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry. I didn't read your comment under the other user. Maybe he'll surprise you. If not, it is what it is.

[TooOldForThis5545]

It sounds like this guy has no idea how to maintain a relationship. Have you talked to him about these concerns?

[Asker]

yes and he says I just expect things because of how my dad treats my mom, and that he doesn't wanna be pushed or pressured to do anything and that's there's no deep meaning behind it he just doesn't want to.

[TooOldForThis5545]

If he's unwilling to do what it takes to keep you happy in the relationship, there's only one possible ending to this story.