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I am absolutely shocked at most of these answers! The sad part about it is the ones that are right are the ones getting negatives. Without a doubt it is no its not possible to love someone and sleep around. True love is when you give your whole heart, mind, body and soul to the one you love because they entertwine with you...basically you fit perfectly together! Most of you can take a look at your parents or even better your grandparents. I want what my grandparents had back when they were alive. There was no question they were in love with each other. True love is accepting the other person for who they are, not who you want them to become. You accept both their strengths and their faults. We are all human, we all make mistakes. If you sleep around while you have someone to love, then you don't love them! Why would you want to hurt that person? When you truly love someone you would do anything for them, you live your life to make them happy. If they are happy you are happy. Marriage is a commitment to love that one person only. If you truly love someone you only want to be with them, you only want to spend time with them, if you had a great thing as true love, why in the world would you ever want to jeopardize that? If you think its "acceptable" to cheat on your so-called loved one, then move on. All you are trying to do is find an excuse to sleep around, so move on, then realize that its wrong learn from it and better yourself from it. The whole concept of true love has never changed and never will, but the fact remains that people "think" it has changed or try to change their perception of it to make it seem acceptable to them, when deep down they know its wrong. You wonder why more marriages end in divorce its because people are losing sight of what is important and are too lazy to work for something they want. I want true love to come my way and it will when the time is right. I will find a good faithful girl who will be perfect for me, because there are both good guys and girls out there who have their head on straight, want to give it their all, who want to get married, will stay faithful and won't jump overboard when the times get tough... people give up too easily. No one said marriage was easy but when you find that one true love, you should never have to worry about them straying. When the going gets tough those who are truly in love work on it, grow from it and strengthen their relationship together. Don't ever give up on true love, if its meant to be it will find you, when you least expect it. Everything happens for a reason!
It's possible. Monogamy is an uneasy fit for human beings. It's a fashionable social expectation, but not a biological desire. This means that there is a gap between what we want sexually and morally. The gap is less noticeable when entering into a relationship. But despite the frequent and intense sex of the honeymoon phase, sexual habituation quickly sets in.
Interestingly, the relentless urge to have sex with someone other than one's lover grows stronger as the emotional strength of the relationship develops. When every cell in their body is craving sex with someone else, monogamy begins to feel like sexual incarceration. But this growing sexual desire does not indicate that one has failed to love their partner. In fact, choosing to stay with one's partner, despite wanting sex with others, suggests that they do love their partners. They simply want sex with someone else to fulfill their sexual desires while keeping their emotional relationship intact. If they failed to love their partners, they would be more likely to leave them, particularly if they do not have kids or a mortgage together.
It is at this point that couples ought to have the social freedom to discuss the various forms of open sexual relationships. But because these more honest forms of loving are culturally condemned, we must either choose to live with the agony of longing for sex with someone else, or cheat -- something which the Internet has made far easier. Conversely, asking for an open relationship is more likely to result in break-up, or at least increased surveillance, so cheating becomes a more viable option for most.
Cheating therefore exits as the only rational choice to have one's emotional and sexual desires met in a culture that stigmatizes open relationships/marriages. Cheating serves as a way to meet sexual desires, with as little disruption to their emotional lives as possible. I don't condone cheating, but I condemn the expectation of monogamy for setting up this conundrum in the first place.
I could go on and on about this topic.. but to make it simple, I believe some people have more energy than others and need to have more sex, intamacy, etc. Why resrict someone to only having sex with one person? OK then you say "have an open realtionship" That may work for some, but there are also some that want to have a strong, comitted marriage and have children, but also the freedom of having sex with someone whenever they feel like it, trust me ladies if you let your man off the leash he will be much happier, when you make something forbidden it is more tempting... so actually if you excepted that he may cheat, then he may not even want to. Same goes for women, they don't have the sexual energy men do, especially when they have kids to care for. Think about it, your man works all day and wants sex but you are to tired, this happens time and time again...he will look for it in other places... I really don't feel like listening to people's critisim of what I BELIEVE, what I am saying is not a bible or set in stone rules! Of course every stuation is different blah bah blah but I think true love can withstand anything, it is stronger than the love for your own mother, borther, sister, father... people are too quick to give up... that means it wasn't true love in the first place... this is why there are so many divorces, too much rigid thinking, too many people looking outside and going to sites like these for answers, lol...
i think people can make selfish choices by cheating; or having a moment of weakness. but cheating is a choice. and make no mistake, if your sleeping around on your spouse--you're doing it for you--and not your spouse. Also sex, committment, love and relationships has been so cheapened these days, its easy no sweat--nobody really knows what committment is about anyway. And to say its natural is a cop out--people are routinely offended to the point of wanting to commit murder--in fact one of the most common natural occurrances in humanity is murder--its been going on for centuries--yet no one would argue that because its natural that its OK. Physical abuse and spousal abuse, rape and the like have all been a part of the history of man. Yet, no one says, its natural, go for it. People these days know nothing about sacrificial love. The kind that suffers for the sake of another, that defends, protects, and honors and respects. All that is left is primal beasts scrounging around in a racy lust induced haze--like zombies going from one @ss to the next. Yuck. I'll pass.
My gut response is no, because for ME, when I truly love someone, I don't want anyone else. But the thing is, not everyone's sexuality is like mine. Not everyone experiences love/sex/whatever in the same way. Some people are polyamorous, they can actually truly LOVE more than one person at the same time. If someone can do that, why couldn't they love one person and sleep with others? It might not be how I do things, but that doesn't mean it's my place to say that's bullsh*t if they're sitting there telling me it's how they feel.
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Seven years ago I cheated on a girlfriend, and I absolutely loved my girlfriend at the time. It was a horrible thing that I chose to do, and it was wrong, but it didn't mean that I didn't love her. In fact, I spent a year after that trying to make up for it. In the end it didn't work out but we loved each other and tried for a long time.
It's also true as some have noted when you love someone who doesn't love you and you rebound with other people.
I've noticed a lot of girls saying "If you truly love someone you won't want to be with anyone else." That's spoken with the naivete of youth and a belief in fairy tales. Men AND women get very tired of sleeping with the same person after a while, and while they probably do love each other and want to stay together, they still have physical cravings for someone else. To pretend that some switch is flipped when you realize you love someone and that your desire for others goes away is to live in denial. Truly mature people must accept that if their commitment means something to them, it will mean the difficulty of resisting temptation for something more meaningful. There's a reason people say it's hard to be married for a long time - because it f*cking IS. My parents have been married 38 years now and I've seen first hand the crap they've put each other through. They have fought hard for what they have, as does anyone who stays together that long.
i'd say it's certainly possible for someone to THINK they truly love one person while sleeping around, probably because they have very low self control and personal character, or they've convinced themselves that its not hurtful.
However, if they were a bit more considerate and empathetic, they would realize that their actions will probably hurt the person they -think- they love, and therefore they would stop, because obviously if you really love someone you wouldn't want to hurt them or make them feel betrayed.
There are exceptions, of course. I know for a fact some people don't mind at all if their partner has sex with other people occasionally, or even frequently. I actually know some of these people, and they are actually really nice to each other and its obvious to me that they do really love each other very much, and they are actually quite romantic with each other. But its important to remember that they are also 100% honest with each other and both partners know all about the swinging going on. If there were someone who was lying and sneaking around to 'cheat' on his/her partner, then I doubt he/she would really love them, even if he/she had deluded his/herself into -thinking- they loved.
No. And for those that say, "oh this person, or that person did it, and ended up staying with one person" isn't displaying love. I believe it is possible to do this, and eventually fall in love. There is always a chance that the other person will be forgiving (I'd find it difficult) and accept that person, leading ultimately to an exclusive one-on-one relationship with the other person, with no more "casual sex" as you call it, but to say you're in love while doing so...no. If you really loved someone, you wouldn't need to go around sleeping with others. People will say anything to clear their conscience.
Its possible.
Some people can disconnect emotions when it comes to having sex. If it is possible for one to do so, them sleeping around is just something that will benefit them physically. No emotional connection is drawn, they see this person has they see everyone else. When they are in love with one, they are attracted to that person emotionally (something they cannot achieve through numerous flings and casual sex.). Sex with this person has nothing to do with the emotions they have for them.
Yeah it's possible, girls will say it isn't possible because usually US girls we attach feelings with sex... But guys know how to separate both this feelings.
As a girl I find it difficult to have sex with someone I don't have feelings for, but for you as a guy, you'd have sex with anything that moved if it had a Vajayjay. So That's why you see guys saying that yeah it's possible and girls saying it isn't possible... Because we do think differently. And we as women and men have different perspectives on different things and one of them is sex...
OH it also depends on personality, you might be a girl and still love a guy and cheat on him.. There is and o rule with no exception. Hope this helps.
Guys who sleep around while in a relationship think this is true. That is because they want it to be true. They are too self-centered to expand their minds out to how their partner feels about this.
To me, true love is having the ability to put yourself in your partner's shoes. Yes, there are many times where we argue because this is hard but when it comes to cheating, I don't know how hard it is to get the fact that cheating is not cool. Put it this way, if a guy thinks cheating is no big thing, he should be able to tell his girl about it. Oh, that's right, they hide it. Guess they kind of know it isn't cool.
Yea, I don't think so! Those guys are trying to pull the wool over their gf's eyes so that they can sleep around and still say "But baby, I only love youuuu!". Riiigght! If they only loved their girlfriend they wouldn't be sleeping around.
Sometimes too it keeps the girl hanging on in hopes that the guy will finally choose her over all the other girls he is sleeping with. This seldom happens. Why waste time on someone who is only making you an option? I have no idea why people stay single in hopes that the person they are crushing on who is going around will date them. Move on! The person is only interested in sleeping around and that is clear by the person's behavior .
The guys are probably telling you that because it's the story they tell everyone. In their minds it makes them feel better about what they are doing or at least rationalizes it. But it's not okay!
No. If you love someone, you won't want to be with anyone else. They won't be the person you're in love with.
I was best friends with my boyfriend for a couple of years, and was in love with him. Me and my friend didn't think he returned my feelings. She was trying to get me to go out with this other boy, saying things like "he's really nice. He's good looking etc, and he likes you" but I would reply "I know, but he's not (boyfriend's name"). Before I met my boyfriend, I would have been attracted to him, but I really think I'm in love with him, because I just could never imagine myself being with someone else. No-matter what fault my boyfriend has, no-one can compare to him on boyfriend/girlfriend level.
Well, that's my experience of love.
Yes, It can be love, and I say this because my husband and I sometimes sleep with other people for fun. We are still emotionally attached and in love, but also like to experiment sexually. But, the difference between someone sleeping around casually and not being in love is communication and honesty. My husband and I are always honest about who we sleep with to each other and neither of our feelings are hurt when this occurs. We have made an arrangement that will hurt no ones feelings. As for people sleeping around casually and not being honest with their partners because they know they would be upset is dishonest and not loving. If you truley love someone, you would never hurt them in any way, and that is the point. If their partner could end up hurt in any way because of this casual sex and they know it, then they are certainly not in love.
Depends on what you think love is. I would say no. Some people think that their heart is separate from their body. Meaning as long as I am true in their heart the actions in their body shouldn't matter. BULLSHIT I think love is attached to all parts of self. If I love someone it is disrespectful to sleep around. Part of me is my body. And he deserves to have that to himself . Not used by other men.
I think that people are either one of two mindsets when it comes to love and sex.
The first being like, true love. One person, don't want anyone else thus no sex with anyone else.
Or there's the other kind, where they don't really "love", they like, more casually so sure, sex with multiple people seems good for them. They can "care" about one girl the most.. but I don't think that's love.
I do think its possible.
You may want to be with that person for ever
Bt at the same time you can lust over other people
it is true tho that if you love someone you won't hurt them
Bt some people don't see it that way.
So I think you can love someone.
Bt lust over others.
i believe that you can love more than one person at the same time (sounds odd I know, but it is possible. rare but very possible.) but as for the whole sleeping around thing, that's just BS. if they're truly in love with a girl, why would there be a need to sleep with other girls?
Add a 4th. I have made the same experience. Truly loving someone while not being monogamous. Basically, that's an open relationship. And you are calling bullsh*t on all loving open relationships. You might be right in some cases, but certainly not all.
I'd imagine it could be. Note, that nowhere in the question do you say the hypothetical guy/ girl sleeping around is actually in relationship with the one person he or she actually loves. So yes, I do think this is possible, but I don't think they'd be very happy.
Depends on the person, it's emotional feelings versus physical attraction. However, if it was true love.. there wouldn't be feelings for someone else at all, emotional or physical.
For sure mate. Love is full of surprises :). although usually people who are sleeping around and is in love with someone will eventually stop doing what they are doing, to get the likes of the one they love. I mean you are not cheating or anything, you guys are both single. :)
The problem I have with most answerers here isn't if they think it's possible or not but rather that most tell each other what love is. No one can define love for others. Especially if the whole argument is built on "it's obvious".
According to what I've read you can love someone and still sleep around. So yes.
The flip side is that once your partner finds out. The relationship is done! Unless your both swingers or in an open relationship of course then it's ok.
if you truly love someone, your emotions and thoughts will be with her. even when she is away for an exchange for months.
you can still casually sleep with other girls. trust me. your mind will be full of her and her only. you get your sexual satisfaction for that few hours in exchange of a guilt that lasted for years.
why torture yourself? but most importantly, why hurt someone you love?
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