How do I challenge a guy?

my boyfriend told his friend he wanted more of a challenge. how do I do that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He means he wants his relationship to be more exciting. That means he wants you to be more exciting. He doesn't want his relationship to become boring.

    Some examples of a challenge can be but are not limited to:

    (1) Making funny smart ass remarks to him (that challenges him to come up with better ones)

    (2) Make him put forth effort to get a favor out of you (or romance out of you).

    (3) Don't simply ask him "what do you want?"

    (4) Don't tell him what you want, and don't tell him what you want to give him. Let him figure

    these things out on his own, but you do have to give him subtle hints.

    (5) The two of you can pretend to chase each other, and he has to try to seduce you all over

    again. And you have to resist.

    (6) Do give him what he wants, but don't give it to him freely. Make him exert effort. Such effort

    can be planning a date, doing something thoughtful, or something chivalrous.

    (7) Create friction in the relationship, but that doesn't mean become a drama queen or a

    raging bitch. Friction basically means don't be his personal servant, and don't obey his

    every command.

    (8) Teasing him works. But that can also fall into the category of making him chase you and

    seduce you again. When he successfully seduces you at the end of the day, he wins a

    prize! Use your creativity to come up with a unique prize for him.

    (9) When he talks to you, he wants to talk about interesting things that require the both of you

    to think. He doesn't want to talk about the weather, your favorite makeup, gossip, and who

    will win the next American Idol. He wants really involved and mentally challenging


    (10) He wants you to make him laugh.

    In a nutshell he wants you to have more character, and with more character comes more excitement and more challenges. He wants you to come up with creative things to do together. He wants to use his brain and think when he is in your company. He also wants you to be yourself. Do not try to conform to what you think other people say you should be. You should develop a unique personality of your own. He wants to hear unique ideas from you about anything. He doesn't want to hear BS that you heard from somebody else; he wants to know what you think. At the same time he wants you to think in general, and you may or may not be accustomed to doing that.


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What Guys Said 7

  • Don't play this game. If he's not satisfied with you as you are then let him go find someone else. There, tell him that and let that be his challenge.

  • What he means is that he wants to do more for you and show his love for you but you seem too satisfied with anything that you get. You see, when a guy wants to do something for you (believe me guys love to please their girls and like to feel appreciated) he wants to feel that you really want it and would feel very happy when he does it.

    If you have no needs and take any nonsense, he sees no point in doing any thing special for you. Why go through all the effort when you are already satisfied and would not appreciate any special effort?

    However, do not directly ask for anything. Hint about how you would love to get flowers on your birthday, romance etc. etc. or anything that you really want.

  • Maybe the next time he asks you to go out, he wants you to say no to him. I guess just start being unavailable, but that doesn't really work if he knows you're doing it. So don't tell him if you want to do it, and don't tell him why, just say you're busy, and only do it once. Then later be a little standoffish; say you're really busy, but still try to "make time for him." I think he's so used to girls playing mind games with him that he just expects it from you too, but it's a good thing that you dont, it means you're not immature like other girls. Just talk to him.

  • Sounds like your boyfriend would rather fight, than fall in love

  • just take out the lightsaber and be like


    n that's it

    • See, this here, when applied correctly is the answer to all relationship problems.

  • put barbed wire outside his apartment door.

  • Take up Wrestling?

    Guys that view women as a "challenge" or not simply are not worth the time.


What Girls Said 6

  • Just don't make yourself so available to him. If he says "Let's hang out Saturday" say you're doing something with your friends (and do go out with them) and then suggest hanging out Sunday. Don't answer his texts right away (Give it a half hour to and hour and say you were busy). Have your own life, and don't drop everything for him.

  • haha I so love the light saber response because it'd totally work with many of the guys I know.

    I mean even if he looks at you funny and is like huh, you can just bust out laughing which should make him laugh too. And therae are so many possible reactions. It'd be hilarious.

    My advice though is be yourself, if he can't accept that than he's just not for you.

  • Play hard to get sometimes. Don't be so easy & available. Don't make it all about him all the time. You have to have self-esteem and confidence. Stay busy with your agenda too. Always keep a social life with the girls. Don't put up with his crap like blowing you off, ignoring you, etc. But then again, don't forget to stroke his ego sometimes, guys need it time to time and they love it. Be funny and make him laugh and always get him on April fools. This year I plan on changing my hubby's alarm to 30 min. ahead. I married a georgous "player" with beutiful green bedroom eyes and he says I was the biggest challange that rocked his world. We just celebrated our 20 yr. anniversary with grandkids.

  • text him him less, basically make him chase after you. Seems like he wants a chase.

    • That could be interpreted as ignoring him. That could be a worse choice.

    • Thats playing mind games and trying to control someone...thats not a good idea

    • Why not let them girls have this "card" :P? All of the worlds politicians play mind tricks on us everyday/time they open their mouths. And we let them yo.!? Because most of us are like sheeeps. I'm not gonna act like that infront of a girl I like or anywhere. Because I'm a Lion lol;

  • Tease him, make fun of him, don't let him have what he wants.

    • I agree, a girl who can flirt/tease and who acts confident but also makes it clear she cares and will be there when you need her is definitely for keeps ;)

    • Right, giving in just makes a girl look like a whore. Or needy in a way that she's so dependent she can be told what to do. That gives no defining of a dependent character.

  • play hard to get not over the top but make it funn ;]

    like a little game for him.

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