My boyfriends sister died of cancer and he's completely shutting the world and me out. I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriends sister lost a year long battle with brain cancer this weekend. It's the most tragic thing me and his family has ever had to experience. Him and I have always had a really good relationship, we are always really good at talking and opening up to each other and really depending on one another. He's a student teacher and sadly wasn't here when his sister passed. He's been back now for a couple days and I've barely heard from him. Other than the initial phone call that night and a couple texts I haven't heard anything. I had to find out all the details from the local newspaper (which broke my heart) and have had other people looking to me for answers when I don't even know whats going on. I know he needs to be with family and shut out the world and everyone else, its justified and completely understandable, that's how he is, but I don't know, I feel like he shouldn't shut me out, I'm not just part of everyone else. I'm so worried about him and I just feel like I'm in limbo. Im trying to send him little things to show Im thinking about him and whenever he needs me Im here but I want to call him, hear his voice, something, anything from him. The viewings tomorrow and I dont even know if he wants me around for that. I dont know if he'd like to hear from me or if its appropriate to call him. I literally have no idea what to do, Im starting to fall apart myself so I don't know, any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

[HeyJustBeingMe]

Sad. You have the right to call text or anything else to contact him. If he answers the call is the question. you'll know when you try. However he needs time too. Time to process this tragic event. The death of a family member is always hard and takes time and energy. Physically and mentally a heavy challange.
He does need some support. But at this very moment he needs to be with family only. Dont tey too hard to contact him.
Try to imagine how it feels like if your sis brother dad or mum lost a battle against cancer...

[RasmusAiken]

His world is in meltdown right now. It is appropriate for you to be "in the corner" right now while he's grieving with his family so expect nothing from him for now. Yes, go to the viewing just to be present. . . same with the funeral.
I know it feels like rejection, but it's only temporary. When he begins to get over the devastation he'll come back to you because you will represent to him someone beautiful and stable, supportive and encouraging who can help him continue on.

[idontgetmen]

You need to give him space and time to properly grieve the loss of his sister. He isn't intentionally making you feel this way. When he begins to come to terms with the loss he will come back to you. You should go to the viewing and the funeral; he will appreciate it greatly in the long run.

[Anonymous]

That's my cousin right now. He's completely zoned out since his girlfriend is dying. Just give him space you should go so he doesn't get mad if you don't/didn't show but just be there as much as you can but it's probably the fact that he wasn't there that's bothering him the most.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how to answer, but I'm sorry for your/his loss and I hope you both overcome this and become as strong as you were before. Just give him time, time can work wonders.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, there are no words, but to be there and quietly mourn with him may be the form of comfort he needs. Just being there for him may help; do not actions speak volumes more than words?