My boyfriend ignores me after a family death, what can I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend aunt died a few days ago and he’s gone silent. I gave him space since I know he’s hurting but every time is text to check up on him he never answers and ends up going days without speaking. He told me he wants me here with him in this time of bereavement but he ignores me. I understand he is sad but I only ask if he just lets me know if he needs more space or if he needs a break not completely ignore me on days end. I’m completely lost in what to do. I feel like I’m in the dark.

[SnowedIn]

This is a terrible place for you to be in. His behavior is terrible but it's also normal, particularly when a loved one dies. You wrote that the aunt died "a few days ago." This is REALLY normal and it's way too close to her death for him to even think straight. What do I think would be normal? At least a week; probably two. After that, he's not going to be focused. This is going to take an enormous amount of time and patience for you.

As for what you can do -- if you're not able to be with him, then just keep yourself busy and send him an occasional note that you're there for him and thinking about him.

He'll come out of this eventually and he'll know you were there even if in the fog right now he can't articulate that.

[Julia1244]

His not a good boyfriend